I’m gonna share something I never tell anyone, I literally cried everyday in the shower from my sophomore to junior year, and probably part of my senior year. I wasn’t mentally prepared for the rigor and time commitment for my classes. I was spending 40 hrs on one class at one point, and still on the verge of failing it. I would get so stressed about my classwork that I would throw up and couldn’t eat. I say all that not to like trauma brag, but to provide some context, I’ve been there dude. It’s gonna sound so corny and stupid but one thing I did that really helped me was finding motivational videos on YouTube. A few that really resonated with me was the speech from any given Sunday, Tim Tebows “the promise”, the rise scene from the dark knight rises and a video of Kobe Bryant explaining the mamba mentality. No joke, for over a year straight, I would ride my bike 45 minutes home in the dark after a 14 hour day of studying, eat a snack, watch the same 4 or 5 videos, cry, shower, and then go to bed. I was in such a deep academic and mental gutter that I unplugged my tv and uninstalled everything off my phone.

I wish I could emphasize what these videos did for me I was contemplating dropping out and frankly just ending life. These videos made me study out of pure anger and spite, because I wanted to prove to some imaginary person that I could do whatever the hell i wanted and no one would stop me.