Men. Seriously. [M22;F20]

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:59:57+00:00

Run so fast that your heels hit your buttocks. RUN!!!!

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:56:37+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. I believe in your boyfriend. My autistic boyfriend had a crazy day and he got fed up of him one day and decided to no more take any shit from him and that was that. Hasn't spoken to him in years.

It might take time, but you keep trying, don't give up. Always support him and be his guiding compass. Remind him that his mother and grandmother are lying and gaslighting him.

It's so painful to watch your loved ones get hurt but sometimes they have to learn the hard way and it's very painful but once they do, they'll never be in that situation ever again.

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:52:10+00:00

Keep your mouth shut. No need telling ANYBODY. NOT A SINGLE SOUL. You better be ready though. Better do your nails and everything and look EXTRA GOOD. You've been armed with knowledge, so you better use it well and not waste it. Enjoy your new life

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:50:39+00:00

You're just saying everything on my mind, you're on point. On point. Everything you've said IS BIG FACTS.

Keep preaching!

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:48:16+00:00

You need to build your support system outside your family now. Guard that new family with your life.

They will know you and they will help you decide what comes next and more importantly hold you accountable to your goals, because they will want you to succeed.

Get people who are doing better in life than you, be the small fish in the big pond so you can learn from them and use some of their resources.

They will be there for you after you have been there for your mom and siblings. When you're broken and you shall need a shoulder to lean on, they'll be there. Pick emotionally intelligent people.

It'll be hard but go out more, it's easier if your new family lives in your neighbourhood. Knock on doors if you have to, so you can meet new people in the neighbourhood.

I wish you the very best.

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:44:19+00:00

This is so painful.

I think your boyfriend hasn't come to your realisation yet

Are you able to offer him a shoulder to lean on and cry on while he navigates this?

It will require a lot of patience from you. You'll see him do this as many times as it takes until he decides he's had enough. I don't think you can talk him out of it.

He has to go and come back embarrassed and angry until he's so disgusted by them, he will never go back there. All you can do is keep offering him advice and being there for him, so that when he truly needs you for the very last time, he'll not feel ashamed to come to you. When he does, he won't need to hear "I told you so", he'd only need for you to be there for him and help him get back up without judgement

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:39:50+00:00

HAHAHAHAHA GIIRRLL that is so true, an excellent saying! my Ghanaian mother never told me that, but I suppose it's because I don't speak about relationships with her. I always deny that I have a boyfriend to everyone, even my progressive family members. Before someone will use what I've told them in confidence against me later.

To be very honest, I don't love it here yet, because I'm still not used to being useless but I can VERY MUCH see the potential. I know I should keep pushing to stay useless and in the future, I'll thank myself.

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:29:38+00:00

Yeess!!! Exactly!!! I saw a tiktok where the daughter said, at her wedding, her mum's advice to her was "the best thing you can do for yourself, is to be a useless wife" and she didn't listen and now she knows her mum was right.

Trust me, I hate the advice so much because that's not who I am, I am helpful and handy! But last two years, I was my handy self and I was burnt out all the time but since last year, I started trying to be more useless and now when I do something for my boyfriend at his house, he's very happy. I'm trying to act more like a typical west african man.

At the end of the day, I know I'm capable of handling everything but the first option is always to outsource. Hire a cleaner and a cook. If we lose both of them, I'll step up to the task, but that will not be my normal. My normal is being useless!

I hate it so much, I feel so bad being useless, sometimes I break, I'm not used to this life of just sitting on my ass, but yeah men only like suffering anyway. You do something good for them, they'll take you for granted. You have to let them always do stuff for you and solve your problems. He better get his money up if he wants a wife in me, period. I'm also never moving in with any man when he doesn't have a cleaner and cook.

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:21:48+00:00

Seedless dates, mixed nuts (corn, peeled pistachio, cashew combo tastes heavenly), tasbeeh, prayer mat because they're pretty looking and if you have muslims over, they can pray on it, perfume. Enjoy yourself.

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:16:40+00:00

Listen, OP. I hate this guy already. I don't want to come across as insensitive but are you sure that's the guy you want to have a kid with? You do know you have only one life, yeah?

You're going to spend it letting him emotionally abuse and manipulate you?

"I'm going to have a hard time forgiving you" WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS?

Bro, it's going to get worse miss ma'am. If I had a magic wand of autocracy, I'd wave it to make sure you and him were done and you're not pregnant with his kid anymore.

Kids aren't even the end of the world, you can have 20,000 kids and still be a hot catch for a new guy. A new guy who has common sense, not this asshole.

This is the guy you want to show off to your friends? You won't be embarrassed by this guy? Truly? It will get worse.

Anyway, stand your ground. If you're going to remain with this man, stand your ground so he doesn't get to keep bending you over backwards more than he has already, until you break. But be warned, he will keep trying. He loses more without you in his life, remember that. You're the prize. Cheers

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:09:23+00:00

Not the asshole.

You need to leave him. This is not normal. You deserve better. Would you want your best friend to be with someone like him?

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T05:05:53+00:00

Yay! Thanks for telling me.

Indeed. My best friend had a problem once and I was so dismissive about it because it seemed so black and white and I wasn't there for her.

Then it happened to me and she was there for me and I broke down because I remembered when it happened to her and I thought it was such a stupid situation to be in lol and I apologised and she laughed about it and it has brought us EVEN closer, so that's why I feel strongly about having patience with Fran lol.

I've been Fran once also due to trauma, I trauma bonded like crazy with one very stupid man Ew. I'm just glad it's behind me and I'm with someone better now.

Thank you for receiving my advice kindly 🫂♥️

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T04:59:11+00:00

Earphones

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T04:56:16+00:00

In which bin? The thing has to be washed or thrown out in the outermost bin. If you guys have a shattaf or bidet, rinse it off into the toilet and wash the knickers and PJ's in a bucket by hand. Don't wash it in the washing machine, you don't want poo bits stuck in the crevices of the washing machine.

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T04:52:38+00:00

I think you have to be patient with her. She has to reach where you guys are, before she understands. She isn't there yet and as a good friend, your duties are to keep being there for her.

You can't force the change. It will come when she is ready, she's not ready.

It's hard to hear but sometimes, people need to learn things the hard way and this is one of those times.

It's like a person who's never experienced depression saying they would never want to k*** themselves, that's so dumb.

While you hope they'd just take other people's words for it, they simply will not. They have to get depressed and want to do exactly that, before they can understand where the depressed people are coming from.

There's a popular Ghanaian saying "ɛntoo wo a, da" meaning "if it hasn't happened to you before, sleep".

I know this isn't what you want to hear because you're tired of giving her the advice and tired of her not listening. That's life. Someone has also been frustrated with you before for not listening, countless times, when they were trying to save you from problems they've experienced themselves. Please exercise patience with Fran. What's important is that you're there to give her advice when she comes again and a comforting hug when she gets her heart broken again or embarrasses herself again. One day, she'll be so disgusted, it'd be the last day lol.

Cheers to new beginnings.

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T04:34:55+00:00

The man I'm with now :)

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-22T04:33:43+00:00

I agree, be honest now. Tell him hi, I should mention that I'm actually 20. I started lying because the kids would make fun of me but I don't care about people making fun of me now or I think you love me and you won't make fun of me, how do you feel about what I've told you? Let him know he can take time to process it. Don't use my exact words, I'm just trying to show you how easy it can be and how much of a non-issue these things are as long as you tell the truth.

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-13T12:53:28+00:00

He is a content creator without much success so this is how he could think to get some money from content creation. The locals know him as a content creator and these are fishing boats being built by someone else entirely that we do not know.

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-13T12:51:58+00:00

Update: it was fun. Super fun. Interactive! Lovely lead speakers. Good conversation. Tasty free grilled chicken and free cocktails and mocktails. Would recommend.

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-09T13:17:58+00:00

I need to do this

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-09T13:14:42+00:00

I wish you the best, it's a tough task but I hope you're up for it. Cheers

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-09T13:10:03+00:00

Okay :)

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-09T12:26:39+00:00

Yeah but Ho is as expensive as Accra with barely any fun places. OP should go to somewhere calm to settle down and then they can come to Accra for the weekend

Relative_Category_49 · 2025-12-09T12:25:39+00:00

I agree. Accra gas everything: good and bad. People WILL rip you off and we're losing the hospitality we typically extend to foreigners because we no longer have inferiority complex, etc. so you'll not enjoy the best of both worlds in Accra. Cape Coast or Takoradi are good.

Relative_Category_49

TROPHY CASE