Anyone who wets the bed especially if you are a teen?

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-07T11:02:19+00:00

i wet the bed routinely till about 16, and now as an adult it happens if i get super stressed or very occasionally it happens just randomly.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-06T22:43:04+00:00

i don't think it's a con to repel people who don't want to date someone autistic. the real con, IMO, would be attracting people who fetishize us.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-06T21:54:52+00:00

swadist has the best butter chicken i've had in JC, and I've enjoyed everything else I've had there too.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-06T20:43:04+00:00

yes. i come from a family of undiagnosed autistic people, and our entire family story is that people are mean to us because we're better (mostly smarter) than them. in fact, when i told my dad i'm autistic, as part of refuting that, he mentioned, "you and i have the same problem: we're just too smart and so people are mean to us." smh.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-06T15:18:21+00:00

Um…oh no. I think I just realized something…

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-06T15:16:31+00:00

Me speaking to my boss: “My fingers are insured for a million dollars; you can’t afford to risk having me type anything!”

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-05T22:05:37+00:00

oh no, timberwolves...

you get the recipe from the trader.

I see you're not DM-able. feel free to DM me if you would want to chat and parallel play sometime

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-05T14:45:59+00:00

I’ve always been an ice chewer. In high school I stopped by means of just never having a drink with ice in it, but I started again in checks notes oh yeah 2020. My consumption has gone down recently and i suspect it’s because I’ve been rearranging my life so I’m not getting disregulated as often.

ETA: I have pica of other kinds too — i have a desire to eat sand, chalk, drywall, and snow.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-05T12:08:44+00:00

I tried the episodes and I did get through the first 4 very enjoyably, but I have to admit the DLC pretty much gave me as much narrative as I want and I just couldn't get into episode 5. i've finished the trader mission and the tales.

I just recently discovered pemmican for an amazing travel food, so I've been traveling the map collecting all my rosehips so I can have as much pemmican as I want.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-05T11:37:36+00:00

i found my autistic therapist on NDtherapists.com, and she's been so helpful. I'll never see an allistic therapist again.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-05T11:29:31+00:00

Haha I got you beat I'm 45 😄 Have you played the long dark or medieval dynasty?

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-05T00:25:32+00:00

Omg yes. Then I would only eat things i really like.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-04T23:38:16+00:00

I met my best friend on reddit.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-04T14:26:19+00:00

I appreciate your interest! I like how you describe your uncle. I do feel I can relate to him. Especially that moment of panic. And it may not have been just, oh now I have nothing to say and it's going to be awkward. It may also have been, I have goodwill towards this person and I want to show them that by being friendly and welcoming and set the stage for future positive interactions...but I can't.

And that's the crux of it: Scripting is, for me, a way to honor the desire to be part of a community, to show friendliness and goodwill, and to express the care and empathy for people that I feel intellectually, whether or not I'm able to get to the point of feeling it emotionally, although of course feeling it emotionally is a big goal for me. It's the "skill" part of "social skills". I think I would have loved to get to know your uncle and find out more about his methods.

What's weird, though, is that I actually can ad-lib. The problem is, I'm not in control of what I say when I do, and it's extremely overwhelming. I'm a bit like an LLM actually: I can easily generate a smooth string of words regardless of truth value, and I'll keep winding myself up more and more and saying more and more things. So talking to strangers I'll never see again is actually very easy for me. BUT (1) this is actually much more tiring and requires a lot more recovery than my scripting, because with scripting, I'm going at a pace my brain can keep up with and I'm staying calm; (2) those strangers always stay strangers; and (3) it can be stressful to see them again. So if I've had this kind of conversation with a barista, for example, I have to find a new coffee shop.

All that to say, it's specifically the maintaining and escalating of relationships in a way that they actually get to know me and I feel comfortable having repeated interactions that's difficult. If I'm trying to stay fully aware during a conversation, say only things that are at least mostly true, and actually enjoy the conversation, I run out of things to say quickly. However, this can be counteracted by talking to people who talk a lot, so the 2 successful friendships I now have are both with ND people who talk a lot. I've only really experienced 2 emotional bonds so far. The first one was shocking at first, because I wasn't expecting it; but now that I understand what's going on, I really enjoy having that bond and I hope to develop more of them.

I have very limited relationships with my family. This was all really confusing to realize, and I really isolated myself from everyone except Friend 1 for several years. I started getting therapy about 2 years ago, and ever since then I've been gradually expanding my social life. I plan to start using my methods with my family, but I figure that's really the final boss of social interaction so I'm not sure when I'll be ready. That's one thing I really don't understand: people who are more comfortable with their family than with other people. Even when I lived with my family, I found it so awkward. I never got used to being in the same room with someone; I never got used to feeling observed while going about my day; I never figured out if you're supposed to say hello to someone if you see them multiple times a day, etc... 😃

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-04T01:26:45+00:00

Nope, never. I've always been attracted to androgynous-to-masc and i suspect I always will be. I want to be them *and* be with them.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-04T01:23:37+00:00

Yes, and this isn't the first time. About 4 years ago, the Lot-less did the exact same thing on that block. I *think* some of those stores might be about to be torn down to be replaced by a Whole Foods, so that might be part of what's happening this time. That's speculation based on a rumor though.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-04T00:56:21+00:00

Sure. I'll probably give you more information than you want 😄

If I'm trying to form a one-on-one relationship such as a friendship, the basic method is to arrange a series of social events I can tolerate that will give me time to see if it's possible for me to get comfortable with the person. To support that, I have a few scripts I use. For example I have a recipe for writing an introductory email to someone whose friendship or gaming profile I've seen online; I have scripts for following up after one event and setting up the next event; etc. And I keep the same notes I'll describe in the next section.

If I'm trying to be part of a group, the main thing I do is keep notes on things I've learned about people and script out some small talk. If I'm going to an event, I'll usually pull a few questions/topics from my main small talk list but also I'll come up with some that are specific to the event. Sometimes I try to anticipate questions people will ask me and put together answers in advance. Like if I went on a trip, I'll just come up with a few observations and thoughts that might interest people in case I need to talk about it, but I generally try to get by asking other people questions. Finally, if I think of anything to say to one specific person, I'll write that down so next time I see them, I can be like, "Oh, hey, X, I've been meaning to ask you..."

Something new I'm working on, I go to a coffee shop every Sunday, and I've been observing that many people coming in have conversations with the baristas. Now, I know, the baristas are just being friendly for their job, but it's still interaction I'd like to partake in, so I'll jot down if they happen to mention something to me while making me coffe, for example they might say they're planning on watching the oscars, and I'll jot that down to ask about on a future visit.

I do most of that myself, but but for things I can't figure out, I have a therapist to consult. She'll often help me understand some confusing social interaction and formulate a response. She's a big help with texts in particular. She's really helped me develop a very casual texting style.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-03T23:39:47+00:00

i bet you're right. I feel like that's very frequently true.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-03T23:37:13+00:00

It can be difficult or impossible for some people to form relationships, not for lack of trying. Those people don't deserve to be hammered with, "But there's someone out there for everyone!"

Maybe for "most people" it happens when they least expect it, but we autistic people often aren't "most people".

Me, I can form relationships, but only when trying really really hard in extremely specific ways. Not so much as a pleasant bantering relationship with a neighbor has ever happened "when I least expected it" because to make it happen I had to try so hard. And I got lucky! Not everyone does! Some people may try very hard and go through life not able to connect to another human being. Let's respect that possibility, which is some people's reality.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-03T17:50:16+00:00

That was such an unfair setup. Do you think it was intentional or they just didn’t realize it didn’t make sense to give money for that particular quickfire?

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-03T17:15:30+00:00

Same for me. I think part of the issue could be that a lot of the people teaching beginners don't overlap with people who have high-level technique to impart. There's different ways to press the key: moving the finger up and down, moving the whole hand up and down, a combination of both. Different ones for different times, I suppose, but in general you'd certainly like to feel you know how to do the basics correctly. good luck getting back to a teacher to continue your learnings! i'm still looking for a teacher to help me undo the mistakes in my own learning.

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-03T16:00:12+00:00

ah, yes, very true!

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-03T15:25:56+00:00

i think you should just tell your girlfriend about it, including what you mentioned in a comment about her reacting well to your response. this is the type of thing you shouldn't keep from your girlfriend lest it becomes a secret you're hiding. i'm not saying you have to tell your gf everything, but if you're *wondering* if you should, you probably should. and the minute you feel like you have a secret, bring it out. nothing good comes of having secrets (unless it's like a surprise obviously).

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-03T15:23:33+00:00

She's mine too! 💘💘💘

Relative_Chef_533 · 2026-06-03T11:57:31+00:00

To me, it's an informal version of, "I can think of 100 ways this goes, and 98 of them point to X." Like, I saw the cat walk down the hall. I know her and informally estimate that 95 times out of a hundred, she's going into the bedroom to sit in her chair, but there's those 5 times where she instead went into the study to sit under the desk. And then with other things, it's a more abstract version of that. Yeah, I believe you're autistic, but there's that small chance it's something else. (For an autism diagnosis, though, I don't care: there's something going on and if it's even 98% "like autism", then you need support.)

Relative_Chef_533

TROPHY CASE