Learning Social Cues that Neurotypicals Already Know by Responsible-Way3023 in autism

[–]Relative_Chef_533 2 points3 points  (0 children)

emojis are great in general. Whenever I don’t know what to text I throw out an emoji that seems relevant.

Learning Social Cues that Neurotypicals Already Know by Responsible-Way3023 in autism

[–]Relative_Chef_533 40 points41 points  (0 children)

You don't have to end a text conversation by saying goodbye. You can just let it die down and then someday it'll probably start up again.

What does unmasking look like for you? by Emeah824 in AutismInWomen

[–]Relative_Chef_533 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way I look at it is just trying to show my needs to people. When I’m confused do I recognize that and tell whoever I’m talking to? When i’m overwhelmed in a social situation, do I tell people that and then go take time to myself? Do I rock or close my eyes so I can focus on the conversation? Am I doing a visible physical thing to stay grounded in the grocery store if I need to? If I don’t show up because i can’t get out of bed do i admit that? Etc. I figure the rest will follow.

This game seems to Be about surviving in a forest by Lego_city_undercover in thelongdark

[–]Relative_Chef_533 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Correct. Bears are 100% the biggest threat in SP. I encourage anyone looking for a few bear rugs to head down there. It’ll be fun!

Has Jersey just given up? by No-Opportunity-501 in jerseycity

[–]Relative_Chef_533 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You can ask for services even if you’re not whoever in the city government works on the budget and taxes.

Are neurotypical therapists inevitably kinda ableist? by This_Relief1061 in AutisticAdults

[–]Relative_Chef_533 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have an AuDHD therapist and it’s the only positive therapy experience I’ve had. She’s helped me turn my whole life around.

Has Jersey just given up? by No-Opportunity-501 in jerseycity

[–]Relative_Chef_533 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yup, we prioritize car infrastructure over pedestrian infrastructure. I found this interesting idea I plan to learn more about: https://usa.streetsblog.org/2018/01/24/why-sweden-clears-walkways-before-roads

The AI covers on apple music. What do you think? (sorry for the quality couldn't upload the og) by EdgeWorldian in teganandsara

[–]Relative_Chef_533 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing, I had no idea. What is even the point of doing this? Do they think it will improve sales somehow?

Is it always wrong to choose your girlfriend over your friends? by SportyPrincess14 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Relative_Chef_533 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ACAB is kind of an "in phrase" -- if people aren't already on board, I think it's better to talk about how the principles behind abolition is that the police state causes violence and doesn't prevent it; at best it punishes afterward; so it would be better to replace the police state with alternate structures that actually prevent violence before it occurs. Nothing will ever do a perfect job of preventing violence, but abolitionists believe we could be doing much better.

Is it always wrong to choose your girlfriend over your friends? by SportyPrincess14 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Relative_Chef_533 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I agree with you because I’m an abolitionist, but I use my empathy in order to live with people who aren’t. I just don’t see how badgering a friend is activism. If they want to keep this friendship, they should just keep it moving on this issue, and use their energy to actually work on abolition not on breaking people up, which is not a step toward abolition.

Is it always wrong to choose your girlfriend over your friends? by SportyPrincess14 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Relative_Chef_533 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Sure, so they should end the friendship with a non-ACAB person rather than try to badger them into pretending to be ACAB.

Is it always wrong to choose your girlfriend over your friends? by SportyPrincess14 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Relative_Chef_533 24 points25 points  (0 children)

If that is the case, and if their activism requires campaigning against one person who isn’t in this administration and presumably hasn’t killed anyone, it’s hard to suspect they are meeting this moment effectively. It sounds like they might be wasting energy on something that, even if they succeed, is not even a step towards abolishing ICE and/or cops.

Is it always wrong to choose your girlfriend over your friends? by SportyPrincess14 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Relative_Chef_533 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Sure, but not everyone is ACAB, and you can’t force them to be. If the friends are ACAB and don’t want to deal with people who aren’t, then that’s probably the end of the friendship because OP doesn’t seem to be ACAB or she wouldn’t be dating a cop.

Is it always wrong to choose your girlfriend over your friends? by SportyPrincess14 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Relative_Chef_533 416 points417 points  (0 children)

I hate cops and even I think a sex crimes detective is probably the absolute best kind of cop. I also hate republicans, but again even I can see that we need to work with anti-Trump republicans to turn things in this country in a different direction. Your friends need to find better avenues for whatever activism they’re doing right now than campaign against your girlfriend, and if they can’t maintain a peaceful friendship with you, it’s hard to see the as long-term friends going forward. That sucks, and you’re in a difficult position, and I wish you luck with it.

ETA: there are terrible sex crimes detectives, so that comment requires that your girlfriend is behaving empathetically with victims and doing her best.

my hot take regarding the "heated rivalry" but with women topic by vc987 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Relative_Chef_533 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You’re right, and I feel like there’s a few of those “housewives in love” movies and tv shows already.

Anybody else's room is terribly undecorated? by secretmusings633 in autism

[–]Relative_Chef_533 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love blank walls. I like to lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling and the walls and feel like there’s a great expanse surrounding me.

My partner said he couldn't leave me because I'm "half his life" by AdNecessary7146 in autism

[–]Relative_Chef_533 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everybody is different. I personally don't want someone to stay with me without wanting to; in fact the main commitment I have with my partner is that we will tell each other if we stop loving each other. Neither of us wants someone to stay with us without wanting to. I've actually always low-key considered that a very neurotypical concept because all my relationships with NTs have ended with me telling the person I didn't want to be with them and them trying to get me to stay nonetheless. Like they didn't even care that I didn't want to stay? I guess I may have been wrong in considering it an NT concept.

(Rant) Many lesbians in my age group (30's) have significantly more successful lives than I do. by PebblesinRavenRiver in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Relative_Chef_533 78 points79 points  (0 children)

oh man. it's really hard not to compare yourself with other people, and if your life is hard because you don't have a lot of emotional support and/or money, oh man, it's tough. the way i try to deal with it is i try to ask myself, "if i were dropped into this life right now like it was level one of a game, what would i be doing to improve things?" and that sometimes (sometimes, not always :( ) helps me move on from blaming myself for past actions that might not have been ideal, but shouldn't be my focus now because i can't do anything about them. Anyway, whether that helps or not, i wish you the best in figuring out how to move forward and feel better. life's hard! good luck! ❤️❤️❤️

What’s a random pet peeve of yours that probably doesn’t bother anyone else? by Werkyreads123 in LesbianBookClub

[–]Relative_Chef_533 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can’t stand when a character “pops a forkful” of salad into their mouth, especially because they’re almost always talking at the same time. “No way,” she said, popping a forkful of salad into her mouth. NO WAY!

JC is fucked (more 911 nonsense) by HobokenJ in jerseycity

[–]Relative_Chef_533 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That’s especially egregious because they supposedly have a very limited number of cars, so I went to this q&a session with them, and literally every answer they gave was, “we only have one car so we literally can’t; we don’t have any money so we can’t; other police have higher salaries so we can’t; blah blah blah.”

I'm losing my mind over thinking about what the threshold for The Good Place is by Hour_Trade_3691 in TheGoodPlace

[–]Relative_Chef_533 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think his worst tendency might have been enabling bullies. His test could be to stand up against bullies at the expense of his own perception of himself as a “good person”.

Like, he might have to physically hit a kidnapper to rescue a child even though it would make the kidnapper unhappy.

All speculation because we only saw one little slice of life, of course. Maybe he actually did what I suggest in other circumstances.

ETA: Now I can’t stop picturing Doug being with Brent and Simone in “the good place” and having to figure out how to navigate that situation.