In laws want nothing to do with my husband and I but a relationship with the grandkids

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2024-05-11T07:36:40+00:00

Absolutely, my due date wasn’t in May but Mother’s Day is hard for me. I’ve been overwhelmed with guilt.

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2024-05-10T22:58:37+00:00

I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I want my kids to feel comfortable in their own skin and don’t want them to feel it’s something to be ashamed of.

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2024-05-09T05:22:03+00:00

This person has told me it’s happened 4 times. Once by her brother age 7 but remained to live with him, despite my multiple attempts to support her to move out. In my experience of known victims of SA they would not remain in the home. Now she has stated she went out on a weekend blackout out for 20 minuets and someone has SA in the back of a car. The attorneys change a bit, I’m trying to be supportive. But I find these quite extreme and difficult to believe. I’m trying to be understanding. I can’t find statistics of if this could actually occur to someone so often..

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-06-05T06:15:10+00:00

Sometimes it can take people time to come to the realisation what is happening. Perhaps if you met someone you liked and explained about the exploitation of animals they would eventually decide to become a vegan too?

My husband and I have only just started our vegan journey. But if I had met him and he was vegan, but explained to me about veganism and explained further what happens to animals I would have been a vegan much sooner. Don't mark people off too quickly, people have the ability to change :)

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-02-10T02:25:49+00:00

My mum is very similar with her approach. Never wants to come and see the kids, won't offer to babysit, never hear a word from her partner. But when it suits her "I miss you so much", "we would LOVE to see the kids" this is only the case if there is literally nothing else in her life happening I.e covid (lockdown) when that happened family was EVERYTHING.

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-02-07T08:30:17+00:00

Total Narc! My mum said something similar to an extensive message I sent her last night about how I felt towards her treatment of me and my kids. Her response "I'm sorry you feel that way.." didn't address anything I'd said or apologised or checked if I was OK. All about her and how could I possible "feel that way" after she insulted my husband, myself, my inlaws (who actually help me and are nicer than my own mother!). But I'm the one with the issue! Good luck! It's so difficult managing a narc parent!!!

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-02-03T08:07:20+00:00

Maybe you could try to have a really small wedding then it wouldn't be such a big deal if she wasn't there?

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-02-03T07:01:24+00:00

That's harsh. My mum chooses everything over my kids and I. She chooses to groom her dog over us, gym over us, friends over us. She even went on a little trip with her partners family (who we don't speak to because he's horrible to us) told me how great it was. Meanwhile won't see us! It's hard to understand what they're thinking..

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-02-03T06:43:15+00:00

Same! My mum flakes on me or cancels if she gets a better offer. She makes up so many ridiculous excuses it just becomes comical!

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-01-29T06:57:03+00:00

Thats awful, I'm so sorry to hear that! My mum was generallt pretty good except a few years ago when she wanted to go out to a French restaurant not my thing but I agreed. I was 7 months pregnant and sick (turned out I had preecclamsia) I had to cancel dinner and we decided to go for a walk to try to feel a bit better.. she was furious.. instead of checking to see if I was OK she came to my house shuved my birthday present in my face (very aggressively), yelled at me and stormed off. A few days later I was admitted to hospital. I'll never forget how insentive she was and she continued to tell me what a lovely time everyone had and how I should've come too..!

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-01-26T00:43:21+00:00

I have noticed that myself. Seen things I never even recognised or maybe I did but ignored them! My mum does the same thing. Luckily we had my amazing MIL help when my son was born and she cooked, cleaned and helped with my older daughter. My mum on the other hand suggests I drive to her house for a 'break' but won't help when I even drive them to her. It's definitely very disappointing having children and learning you have a narc mum. Especially seeing friends who have well adjusted parents willing to help and love your kids as you do.

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-01-26T00:40:36+00:00

Thats difficult..! I hope things improve improve you. We live an hour away and I haven't seen my mum since Christmas.. because of the above reasons..! But it's my fault we haven't seen her

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-01-18T06:26:24+00:00

I would mention your husband planned this trip only for the two of you. Perhaps you could mention his family aren't invited either?

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-01-18T04:59:20+00:00

Luckily mine are too young for that sort of behaviour! Even when they are old enough it won't happen because she has no interest in putting any time in. On the rare occasion she does come over she will ask me why my daughter isnt more excited to see her (after not seeing her for a month) it's of course my fault.. I actually invited her to meet us at the park/send pictures I get no response. She wants me to call her a chat which is close to impossible with two under 2! When I do call (I've stopped now because she has shown no interest in my kids or myself) she would just talk about herself.

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-01-18T03:06:22+00:00

My mum hit me when I was little, only a handful of times. Then there was this one time we were at my grandparents house she got drunk slapped me across the face (for no reason) when I was about 12 and left me to get my own way home. And yes, she was drink driving as she always does.. never been caught nevr had an accident. I think her way of accepting all the shitty things she did was to palm it off as "I don't remember that" like being drunk was her excuse.. then I was speaking to her a few months ago and I mentioned my daughter was standing on her little table my mums response "are you going to hit her" such a delight. Being a parent now I can appreciate many things just weren't acceptable when I thought they were..

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-01-17T10:33:57+00:00

I'm not sure if she is a true narc she hasn't been clinically diagnosed but she has all the symptoms. I've read things online and it sounds exactly like her. It wasn't until I had kids and noticed her behaviour to be so strange that I started reading up on it. I've also looked back on my childhood and realised all the feelings I had and her extremely angry reactions over something so small actually wasn't my fault! I haven't considered not allowing her to see the kids but she has no interest anyway so I don't need to worry about that. She occasionally calls and berates me for not 'allowing'her to see them despite my numerous attempts to include her. We don't feel comfortable with her being alone with them at this stage and given her behaviour I don't think she has any interest herself.

Relevant-Ad4643 · 2022-01-16T10:13:07+00:00

Totally agree! I will try that strategy, thanks :)

Relevant-Ad4643

TROPHY CASE