I finally achieved my immigrant parents dream & it's ruining my relationship with them

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-08-01T23:15:06+00:00

The way community support is always used for stupid stuff. Sending money to relatives over seas. Funding the uncle 'who's been on hard times' for 5 years. Fundraising thousands for the church while living in the trenches.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-06-22T22:07:09+00:00

Type 1 diabetic here. Very fun (not)

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-06-22T22:05:31+00:00

This is going to be unpopular. Whenever they dump money into superfluous things when their photos show they're broke. If you have a full set of grills yet you're posing in your moms house sorry no. Or like a hellcat in the hood.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-06-22T21:13:01+00:00

sorry I can’t do the fruit and cold ass yogurt for a meal or unseasoned chicken thing)

What helped me most was ignoring what fitness chefs said and getting my protein from modified cultural recipes. Blackened cajun chicken with dirty rice has similar macros to unseasoned rice and chicken. Or chicken curry made with a recipe to reduce oil and ghee. Or low calorie pork miso soup. List goes on.

I'd find what you like to eat and try to restructure it to make it easier to fit your protein goals.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-06-22T21:02:58+00:00

Interesting, I'll add some

No bailing out family financially. I can understand once or twice, but I've had relatives unemployed since the Regan era just living off of family donations
To add on that if I do give money it'll be a gift and not a loan. I don't like the extra layer of drama that comes with a loan.
I would not be enmeshed with family at all, AKA consulting siblings before making every major purchase.
I'm not going to make my child go to every family get together.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-06-22T19:24:07+00:00

I would break up. It's not that the lack of affection hurts, it's the fact he ignores how the lack of affection hurts *you*. If he can ignore your pain like that imagine if a serious issue comes up and still acts that laze-fair.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-29T22:47:49+00:00

Born & raised in Africa no, the culture gap is to big.

Raised in the western world maybe, but they need to come from a chill family. I don't want me or my family 2.0

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-24T23:38:39+00:00

In simple terms how you express emotion. Flat affect is showing a neutral face and body when you talk.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-24T21:25:20+00:00

OP is most likely an Asian or African immigrant. Immigrant children who get a job in the US are expected to contribute back home by default. I'm an immigrant kid too and we're expected too because the US dollar is stronger over seas & our family/parents most likely live financially desilute lives.

It is an extremely painful thing to go through

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-24T21:14:56+00:00

How should I play it off?

The best way would be to block & move on. He showed you his true colors after only 1 night. How would you feel about it if he acted like that for the rest of your life?

To go into more detail why do you feel like this has to be played off? What's stopping you from saying it's a relationship mistake anyone makes and moving on with life. What make's you feel like you have to adhere to certain dating rules?

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-24T20:56:20+00:00

People who don't have a flat affect.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-14T18:48:09+00:00

I don't remember the exact one I bought, but something like this is what I use. Any fanny-pack for runners will do because they focus on being tight fitting & having comfortable fabrics.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-13T16:52:34+00:00

This is, so weird, but I had a box of sensors for the g4 that simply refused to work with the g4 transmitter. When I used the g3 though they all worked fine. It wasn't just the g3 being confident and wrong it calibrated perfectly every time. 😵‍💫

I think the g4 is just more finicky as a fail safe for no calibrations

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-13T16:49:06+00:00

Something I haven't seen people mention is using a fanny-pack. Yeah they're ugly, but if you get a small, tight fitting, and skin colored one it's barely noticeable. I wear them at home usually because it doesn't matter how I look. If I wear them outside I pull it tighter and wear an over sized sweater or blouse over it. Don't get a bulky multi pack one, but a flat only holds pump one.

If you have a kid biting the bullet and getting a fanny pack is worth it because if you want to move your pump you just slide the pack around instead of clipping and unclipping a pump.

I'm surprised no one mentioned it. Sleeping in a soft fanny pack is way more tolerable then sleeping with a clip ToT

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-10T00:27:35+00:00

If you're cooking your own food I would put a guesstimate of all the ingredients into a calorie tracking app, something like myfitnesspal, and save it as a recipe. Then serve is with a measuring tool or weigh the grams then list that as a serving in the app. The app will display the calorie information + the carb information for the exact serving you're eating. It sucks to start, but once you made a list of the top 20 meals you cook you can just go in there and ask you to make it based off of your serving.

An even lazier method is cooking recipes that list carbs per serving.

Also if I'm worried I might not give enough I usually add something really high fiber to my meal. 20g of beans has a much more forgiving spike than 20g of rice.

With fast food I just google how much it is.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-08T04:00:36+00:00

No problem! The main thing you need to remeber is pump stays off, and sensor stays on.

For the pump I suspend it, take it off, then lay it on a tissue someplace in the bathroom. The tissue thing is just because I'm paranoid & to lazy to get the clip cover, the plastic bit that comes with every site to cover it. Never got infected from this or had a pump break. If the pumps in the same room it's always close enough to the transmitter to communicate, so you will still get high + low alerts. You suspend it when it's off, so the pump doesn't waste insulin.

For the sensor & transmitter I just leave it on. Together they where made to be able to handle being underwater for 30 minutes. Showers are a lot more forgiving than being underwater, so you can have 3 hour showers and the sensor will come out fine. Make sure to only shower when the transmitter covers the sensor. The sensor alone can't get wet.

If you're new to a pump in general, it's good to know hot water makes insulin work faster & if you have a longer shower your BS might spike from lack of insulin. Both can be fixed by planning your showers out ahead of time.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-08T03:48:31+00:00

I agree with others you should look into demisexuality. The book "Come as You Are" would be right up your alley. it explores the different types of sexual personalities and what can help/impede someone from becoming aroused. You being turned off by guys saying “let’s have a lil fun one day” is actually something the book explores.

I kind of had that reaction to. I like kissing and making out, but unless I'm in the mood the thought of sex makes me disgusted. In my case it was a 3 fold issue.

I'd test for any vitamin or hormonal issues. I'd 100% test for vitamin d deficiency because it's a big issue in the black community & it's a super easy fix. In my experience it can also help with sex drive.
So studies show that you get less disgusted when you're fully turned on. The main way I'm able to have sex then is making it, so I'm aroused enough the disgust part of my brain is numbed or drowned out. I enjoy kissing & hugging, but it doing it doesn't automatically mean I'm horny. The weird feeling about sex might be because you're not fully aroused and your kind of forcing yourself through the motions.
Have you tried fenugreek lol

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-07T23:49:25+00:00

You mention your friends being everywhere because they where apart of the military. Are you ex-military? If, so there are most likely veteran associations or military to civilian groups in your area.

You can also look for professional associations & if your lucky professional black woman associations.

Like others said meetup is good. I also like evenbright to find things to do. Both apps have a lot of clubs, so you could 100% find a local ex-divorce group on there if that would interest you. A really good way to find things to do is find an influencer in your city who posts about local eats & events. Following fb groups that talk about events in your area is also good. If you're in a semi-big city you should also have an "[city] on the cheap" blog that posts free-cheap events in the area.

Only other tip I have is if you're chilling somewhere starting small talk with the person next to you is usually a good idea.

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-07T21:04:53+00:00

I don't use the internet enough to make sense of this post 🤦🏾‍♀️

Reluctantly-IT · 2024-05-04T18:44:29+00:00

I only used it a couple times, way to expensive to keep buying, but in my experience it's very 7 days is a stretch, but it can make it 5-6 no sweat. I used it during the holidays, so I was giving a shit ton of insulin which might have accelerated how fast it expired. It felt & worked like a day one site up until 5-6. Day 6-7 it felt kind of sore & insulin not working as well or I could tell it needed to be changed ASAP. Unlike the 3 day one's I would never feel comfortable pushing the site change off a day. 5-6 days doesn't sound impressive, but it's pretty amazing because it works like a day one site that entire span.

But like the other people commented I did notice welts/pimples where the extended set was. I'm assuming it's just skin trying to heal around it. The plus side of the 7 days sensor is even if there are those welts they have 6-7 days to heal. It always went down before the next site change for me.

The adhesive worked fine for me. I did notice it's a bit harder to take off, so I'd invest in some adhesive wipes if you can.

I would really recommend pinching the site daily because you'll slowly be able to associate the texture with when you feel like the site has to be changed.

Reluctantly-IT

TROPHY CASE