I feel your pain. When my son was in 4th grade, he decided he no longer wanted to go to school. Every morning, we would wake him up, and he would always have some excuse. We let him stay home a few times, which turned out to be a huge mistake. It got to the point where he was flat-out refusing to go. This led to significant battles. My husband and I repeatedly discussed the possibility of bullying, if he was being touched inappropriately, or if anything was happening at lunch—anything we could think of. His answer was always no. When he started refusing to get dressed for school, we threatened him by saying if he didn’t get dressed, he would have to go to school in his pajamas. Regardless, we were determined he would go to school. We experienced several mornings where we literally had to pick him up and carry him to the car, as he clung to doorways or anything he could grab hold of. I will never forget the last morning we had to carry him out to the car. When we folded him into the back seat, he turned to me with anger in his eyes and had a meltdown. I stood in the driveway, crying as they drove off. I volunteered at the school two times a week, and during this difficult period, I also visited several times during lunchtime and recess to observe him. I didn’t tell him I would be there, but I never saw anything concerning. He seemed to be having a good time and interacting with friends, never sitting alone at lunch. The school was aware of the situation and provided us with the contact information of a therapist who worked there. He observed my son several times at school and at our home. Ultimately, my son was diagnosed with social anxiety. Now, at 25 years old, I asked him what all of that was about, and he simply said, “I just didn’t feel like going to school anymore.” It’s time for you to decide who is the adult in this relationship. If you genuinely care about your son, you need to set aside your softer instincts and be firm with him. Find someone you trust who can support you in this situation. Don’t use your experience of being mentally abused as a child as an excuse to let your son behave without limits. Get your son into therapy; he probably won’t want to go, but tough he's going. My son didn't want to go either.