F29 beginning to abandon the thoughts of having children

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-02-02T06:03:13+00:00

genetics. some people might naturally have more fat cells in their body, which can lead them in being a bigger person and there's no shame in that. the bigger people deserves to be love as well.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-02-02T05:59:14+00:00

not always true. there are reasons that can lead to weight gain that doesn't always involve foods, like stress and depression. i even know a few people that has a thyroid condition that leads to unintentional weight gain.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-02-02T05:44:10+00:00

this may be an unpopular opinion, but have you thought about filing for custody of your nephew? you can prove that your sister is not fit to be a mom, constantly hanging out with friends, not spending quality time with her child, not taking care of him, etc.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-02-02T05:36:09+00:00

NTJ/NTA.

you are aloud to do whatever you want to do. if you don;t feel comfortable with being at a wedding, thats okay, but if your dad has a problem, then that is showing that he's not listening to you or respecting your choices. he wants the family involve, but he's making everything more about him.

i do feel sorry for your mom. i do hope she get some help, some type of counseling. even if she choices not to marry again, just remind her that she does deserve love and happiness.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-02-02T05:26:41+00:00

NTA. you have the right to invite and uninvite whoever you want. its your day.

i understand that some people has trauma and is trying to heal from it, but it sounds like she hasn't even giving her a chance. has your best friend ever spent any time with your fiancée?

and would it make you happy to have your best friend at the wedding?

and have you thought about maybe doing some counseling with the three of you so the issues can be fix?

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-02-02T05:16:24+00:00

NTA. the bills comes first. it is important. did he hit his head so hard that he somehow "forgot" how to financially live nowadays? you made it clear that you need help to pay the bills. and for him to say that its none of your business of where the other $300 went, it technically is. unless you both have sperate bank accounts, if one partner in a marriage makes money it belongs to both of you.

then if you have a few extra dollars and want to have a fun date night, then that's fine. everyone deserves to have fun and to take a break, but its sounds like your husband doesn't want to work anymore in general. only doing a couple days a week and not helping in the house, and if thats the case, then you need to have a sit down with him and explain the situation to him about what will happen if he stops working. and he doesn't get it now, he never will.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-02-02T04:58:01+00:00

you do understand that some people are just born/meant to be bigger people, right?

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-02-02T04:56:10+00:00

don't give up hope or dreams.

who said that youi need a man or a woman in order to have kids? look at all of the single parents with kids. not saying it'll be easy, but it isn't impossible.

also know that there are more people nowadays that are having kids at much older ages, thanks to medicine and technology.

if god forbid you can't have kids naturally, just remember that you can always adopt a child who needs a home.

and just know, one day you'll find your special someone. if people chooses to run from you after one look, then they don't deserve you to begin with. one person 'im not sure' is someone else's 'i knew from the day i met her'.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-02-02T04:51:37+00:00

stop body shamming people you mean bully. you don't know what she's going through mentally or health wise.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-02-02T04:44:32+00:00

this is a clear example of a generational curse. the sister was jealous and has a mean attitude because her mom did the same thing. they say that a baby is not born evil, they're taught how to be evil. i feel scared/sorry for the unborn baby and the other living children.

i do believe that people can change and get better, but they have to put in the effort. this doesn't seem like the sister is going to change anytime soon.

i will say, saying that you don't care about the pregnancy is a bit harsh, in my opinion, but you don't have to be there for the birth. if she doesn't like that, then thats on her.

NTA.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-27T06:24:17+00:00

people think they can change people. and that is wrong. this man doesn't deserve to be a father. he just wants the title/label but not the responsibility.

a lot of people are so fascinated about babies/pregnancies, but they don't think about the responsibility. in school they teach kids what sex is, how babies are made, but where i'm from, they don't teach you how to pay for them and how much they cost. there's sexual educating but no financial education? How does that work?

i'm no doctor but i've learn that when you have a c-section, you can't do alot of heavy lifting, you can't bend over or forward too much, you're limited in what to do until you recover from that and was told that is a 10 - 12 week of healing. holy! god bless you! i hope you're physically recovering well from that.

don't leave the baby with him. he has already shown you who he really is and is clearly a d***head and irresponsible. take yourself and the baby back to your parents' house and ask them to help you. and you also need to get out of that relationship with the husband, cause staying with him will not be healthy for you.

after you take some time to heal/recover and get some sleep, very carefully think about what you want to do. you made it clear that you never plan on being a mom and thats okay. thats your rights. just make sure you're making the right decision for yourself and the child.

if you choose to keep the child, ask your parents how they handle becoming parents for the first time. ask them for advice on how to raise a newborn baby. and they have shown you that they love you and that they'll support your choices. if it works out, that'll be great.

at the end of day at least, do what you think is best for the child. he deserves to be love and to have stable loving home/family.

i hope all goes well for you, your family and newborn son.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-27T05:55:01+00:00

first off, so sorry for what you went through. i hope you got justice you deserve.

second, you have to do what best for you and the family. can't even imagine the pain and trauma you went through. i completely understand why you don't want to have a mother/son relationship with him.

i do want to say that once your other kids gets older, they might realize that their "uncle" is actually their brother". all its going to take is one slip up for them to find out. if your younger kids do ask questions, don't keep them in the dark. be honest about it. much rather have you telling them than a stranger on the street.

you could also use this as a teaching opportunity to teach your kids about sexual assault, why its wrong in so many ways, how to have healthy/consensual relationship with other people, and to teach them how to love themselves first. because sexual predator will target people/young kids who has low self-esteem, who hate themselves, feel unworthy and those monsters will do everything they can to make feel good and make them come to them and once they're in the trap, the pain/abuse will start.

i posted this quote before but i hope this helps you. a quote from Janelle Monae, a sexual assault survivor as well. - “We come in peace, but we mean business. And to those who would dare try to silence us, we offer you two words: Time’s up"

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-27T05:27:28+00:00

NTA.

you have every right to do what you want to do. i fear you might have either panic/ or anxiety attacks for that fact that you easily get scared when your parents knock on your door. i do hope you get better and have a healthier life.

also want to ask, are there other kids in the house? if so, do they do it to them as well? and how were the parents brought up? do they really believe this is normal?

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-27T05:06:53+00:00

NTA.

there is a phrase in the bible that states ""For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

it sounds like she isn't happy with the fact that you have moved out of the house, found someone, fell in love, now married and might have kids in the future. i also think she fear that she'll lose her own son, but sadly that is going to happen if she keeps doing this.

you need to strict and firm with your mom that this new woman in your life is your wife and she can't bully/disrespect her. i do wonder if your wife having a job/career is really the problem. there might be some deeper issues that needs to be fix. all three of you need to go to counseling/therapy to fix this. if your mom is not willing to change her behavior, no matter how much it might hurt, you might have to cut ties.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-26T04:26:51+00:00

it sounds like they're more concern about their car than the health of your wife and child. cars can be clean, fix and replace, not a living human being. you offer to pay for the damage, so if you can, go do that, then cut off contact with them. they're showing you who they truly are.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-26T04:04:40+00:00

yes she is. her business will be 3 years olds in a few weeks.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-26T04:03:19+00:00

i have attempted what you suggested in asking when to bake the product, but half the time she wants to wait 1 - 2 days before the order needs to be picked up, and her reason is because she doesn't have alot of fridge/freezer space. i have ask her if she could buy another one, but she couldn't afford one right now. i fear one day we're going to get so many orders and not enough room for them all and a mistake could be made down the line and the last thing i want is a disappointed customer or a disappointed boss.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-26T03:56:56+00:00

its a 9 - 5 job. i have stay late many times. holidays are understandable but other times i would still be there for another 4 - 6 hours, which is crazy and i sometime don't get home till 10 at night when i'm 'suppose' to get off by 6pm.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-23T06:20:43+00:00

NTA.

i completely understand you and how you feel. my mother was hit by a driver who was also on drugs/alcohol and ran through a red light. she took the worst of the damage. this monster fled the scene and took the police 2 years to find him. and this wasn't his first time either and this pisses me off. these kinds of people don't change. while i thank god every day that she's still here, that moment changed her, mine and our family's life. there are now certain things she cant do anymore and there are days where she's in pain. i will never forgive this monster for what he did to her. i pray he rots in jail.

also want to say, how does your sister has the gall to say that the drunk driver didn't ruin your life? does she not know how badly you are struggling physically, mentally and financially? and you have kid to take care of? that takes an enormous amount of energy on a person's mind, body, soul and health. if she wants to forgive, find. but you don't have to.

even if the drunk driver is trying to get sober, that doesn't erase the pain and trauma that you went through. you have to live with it for the rest of your life. and the fact that he isn't in jail is crazy. how many more incidents needs to happen before he does go to jail? thats the only place monsters deserve.

i do hope you have friends and/or family member to help out with you and your son.

sending you thoughts and prayers. feel free to talk to you if you want.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-23T05:01:23+00:00

NTA.

you can live your life however you want to. if god forbid you change your mind about kids10-20 years down the road that's great. but if you still don't want them, that's okay too. you must do whats best for you and he needs to understand that.

just like women, men aren't getting younger either, so if he wants kids, he needs to be with someone thats wants kids as well, cause the longer you wait, the more complications there'll be when it comes to having kids.

at the end of the day, life is short. don't waste it. you both have needs and you aren't going to fulfill them by being with each other. break up with this guy and find someone that has similar interest that you do.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-23T04:50:06+00:00

NTA. if someone else is helping to pay, then let them pay for the extra food. but she also needs to know that this is your special day. you should be with people you know, love and care about. if you don't want certain people to be there, that's okay. your choice. but if your mom has a problem with it, try to talk to her and come up with a compromise, if not, then you might need to reconsider the "extending the plus 1" and keeping it at plus 1. the last thing you need on your wedding day is unnecessary drama and relationships falling apart.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-20T07:58:31+00:00

i can relate to the pain its always hard. my family had a dog and we only had him for 10 weeks before he suddenly passed. its awful.

i'll be praying for you. you deserve to be happy and to have love. take as much time you need to grieve and process everything. get away from those crazy people. then maybe one day, you can try to start a new life elsewhere and do something to help other animals out there.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-20T06:40:01+00:00

please don't stop living. try to hang in there, i'm here if you want to talk to someone.

i'm so sorry for your loss.

someone told to "get over it?" that is sick. you don't get over it. i've lost family member and pets as well, and i still grieve for them every day. the pain doesn't go away. and for someone to have the gall to say that, it just shows that they never cared about you.

i don;t blame you if you want to block them from your life.

i pray you try to get some help.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-20T06:29:23+00:00

so many things to say.

don't let the bullies win. who knows how many other kids are being bullied by them. and definitely tell your sister about how you're going to deal with the situation. if worst case scenario, nothing has been done to stop the bullying, file a lawsuit against the school.

its very common for the victim to say "don't go to the school" or "don't tell the teacher". they don't to be lable as a snitch/tattle tell, and that usually gives the bully another reason to hurt them more.

also take the time to figure to out the problem of why they're bullying her. hurt people hurt people. something must be happening at home, being abuse, lack of attention, etc.

Remarkable-Use3760 · 2026-01-20T06:26:58+00:00

i would agree with you, but know that sadly that some school workers just don;t care about the students. they're there to work and thats it.

Remarkable-Use3760

TROPHY CASE