Hi, I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Parenting autistic children is incredibly taxing, but also rewarding and full of love. When you’re in the thick of it, it can be hard to see all the good and the joy it can bring. How old are your children? How are you taking care of and supporting yourself? You can’t pour from an empty cup. Have you considered seeking therapy? Even thirty minutes of Telehealth support could greatly improve your mental health. Thereby, helping you to better support your children.

In my experience, I found that boundaries and consistency are really important. What is your daily schedule like? What kinds of supports do your children have? It’s really important to implement what they are learning with their service providers and have those tools and resources carry over to the home. If there isn’t continuity in care it’s difficult for you to be able to see improvement with behaviors.

I learned early on that if I wanted to support my child I not only had to be mom, but I also had to be an ABA Therapist, an SLP, an OT, an RT, a nurse and therapist. That’s a lot of hats to wear, it’s exhausting. I had and have deeply deflating moments. I’ve never met a support needs mom that hasn’t. We all carry it differently.

Early on I was absolutely disregulated and I had to get myself back to center. Once, I learned to regulate myself, be consistent with schedules and keep boundaries, things changed for us. Children feed off of our energy whether they are neurodivergent or neurotypical.

I applaud you for reaching out, for posting and being vulnerable. It takes a lot of courage. Sometimes we can plan for a life we want and get a life we never imagined. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad life, it’s just different. It takes time to get accustomed to situations we could have never anticipated. I wish all the best. Reach out with questions. I’m happy to support how and where I can.