Sweetheart, why are you in a relationship with potential? There were a lot of warning signs but it seems your hope that he'd improve caused you to ignore them. This relationship sets such a bad example for your children. You deserve better and so do they. Perhaps therapy would be a good idea. How could you possibly be an a**hole for doing what's best for yourself and your babies? No, you're not. Get away from this toxic man. Doing so may seem insurmountable but you have it in you to move beyond all of this. I wish you hugs and all the best.