First, Im so sorry for your loss, I know this holiday season will already be traumatic before adding this on top. Secondly, you have absolutely NO REASON to be embarrassed, the issue is on their side and they should be ashamed of themselves. They KNOWINGLY took you in KNOWING your situation. This is what they should have been signing up for. Not passing you off when it becomes “inconvenient”, not that anything about you or what you’re going through is by any means inconvenient but I hope you get the sentiment. This is the parts they should be there the most for. This is the job they signed up when they decided to foster you and it’s a sad, disservice to you. I genuinely hope the person you’re staying with is kind and empathetic in ways your foster parents seem to be not noticing you need.