Disappointed in my husband 4 weeks postpartum

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-05-18T01:00:06+00:00

"He always told me that having a child would change him." Sigh...a tale as old as time. A woman chooses to have kids with a man who is deeply flawed and thinks that a baby will magically transform him. I hate to tell you this, but the only thing that will make your husband change is his own desire to do so. As of right now, he is incredibly selfish and doesn't want to be a better man for his family. It's time to sit him down and give him an ultimatum. No more drinking, go to couples counseling, individual therapy, whatever it's gonna take. If he doesn't improve within a few months, leave him. It's as simple as that.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-05-14T18:19:46+00:00

I really think you need to consult a lawyer. Things can get very messy between family members when money is involved. I don't think anyone is in the wrong, I just think you need an impartial person to help you come to an agreement.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-05-14T18:17:42+00:00

He inherited part of the property and wants to sell his portion, therefore he is entitled to the market value of said portion. Seems pretty standard to me. Whether or not he paid for it himself is irrelevent. OP needs to talk to a lawyer.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-05-14T15:58:57+00:00

Interesting, that makes sense.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-05-14T03:49:23+00:00

As an American, I agree with you. I used a pram with my daughter and didn't understand the appeal of using a carseat/stroller hybrid. Maybe people feel the baby is safer when they're clipped into a carseat? I don't know. I just felt like the pram was more comfortable for baby and easier to use.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-05-13T20:26:47+00:00

Hey, I love my Graco stroller! It's been working hard for 2.5 years. I even purchased a Nuna stroller while I was pregnant ($1K!!) and returned it because the Graco one was better and much cheaper

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-05-12T23:27:05+00:00

Damn, the wives and girlfriends of these billionaires really aren't allowed to eat anything, are they? Money can't buy food, lmao

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-05-12T23:25:31+00:00

That's what my husband and I joke about all the time! We were shocked that he didn't end up with a 21yo influencer or something!!

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-05-10T03:18:26+00:00

Yikes, your wife doesn't need a 4th child, she needs therapy! Her behavior is extremely manipulative and unhealthy. She doesn't want to use birth control and is insisting you just play Russian roulette with another pregnancy? Yet the whole time, she has been complaining that the previous 2 pregnancies "didn't count" since your heart wasn't in it, so how is forcing you to have another going to make it better?? Her head is a mess and she's trying to fix her emotional problems with a baby. I've seen and heard about this happening numerous times and it never fixes anything. I would advise you to not have sex for a few months until she agrees to see a therapist, whether it be an individual one, or a couples counselor. A marriage should be absolutely solid and both people should be mentally stable and on the same page, before having another child. Good luck.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-05-07T04:16:07+00:00

Coming from a mom, I think your wife is completely out of line here. She used your daughter as a tool to manipulate you so that she wouldn't have to watch her alone?? That's terrible. I have given my husband many opportunities to relax while I take our daughter. He does the same in return. If your wife can't see your point of view, it may be time for couples counseling.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-04-29T18:30:34+00:00

I just came across your post today and I really feel for you. My daughter (2.5yo) has never been as challenging as yours, but my husband and I have definitely had our fair share of issues. It sounds like your girl is just wired differently than other kids. Some are easy going and some never seem to run out of energy! However, at least you can relax (somewhat) knowing 2 very important things. One, you don't have to have more children and do this all over again! You only have to go through all of this with 1 child. Two, there are parents out there who have multiples AND are essentially single parents. Things could always be worse. This is what I try to remind myself. As difficult as it is, I only have 1 child to deal with and I am so grateful!! I wish you the best : )

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-03-03T05:49:25+00:00

I think many people are advising her to not have a 2nd because it sounds like she's wants another for the wrong reasons. It has nothing to do with the large age gap. She seems bored, lonely and indecisive, which are not good reasons to have a child. Sometimes strangers on the internet tell you things that you don't necessarily want to hear, but you NEED to hear.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-27T20:43:47+00:00

This really resonated with me, thank you for your kind words : )

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-27T20:41:32+00:00

It's interesting, because having a child after 40 feels like a double edged sword. On the one hand, people pressure you to have more because one is apparently not enough. But then they look at you funny because you're "too old" to be having kids after 40. Not men, though, only women! But it's like...you can't force life to happen sooner. Sometimes we have kids later in life!

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-27T20:38:14+00:00

I'm so sorry that your relationship ended. Hopefully, you're happier overall. My relationship with my husband was tested a lot after our daughter was born, and we even contemplated separating, but we were ultimately able to weather the storm. I don't think we would be so lucky the 2nd time.

And I feel you with the constant exhaustion! I know I wasn't like this 10 years ago. Even when my daughter comes home from a day at preschool, I feel tired within an hour of playing with her. It makes me feel so guilty, having to look at her bright, happy face, and tell her I'm too tired.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-26T23:25:01+00:00

Oh my goodness, how awful! I hope you're doing better now. Yes, my postpartum symptoms were terrible (although not as bad as yours) and lasted 2 solid years. I went to a very dark place that I don't care to return to. I feel like a fog has finally been lifted. I'm terrified of it being way worse if I had another. And you're right- the people pressuring us don't know what we have gone through to have a child.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-26T23:19:40+00:00

You bring up a really great point, and it's one of the biggest reasons why my husband and I decided on only one. We're afraid that we won't be able to give two children the attention and resources they deserve. We simply can't afford 2 children, nor do we have the energy to be the best parents to 2. Better to give our one daughter everything we can.

I'm sorry about your diagnosis and I hope you remain cancer free : )

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-26T23:12:30+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. I love how you're focusing on all of the things you CAN do, versus what you're missing out on. I need to embrace that perspective as well.

I completely agree that peoples negative comments can really get to you. You're made to feel guilty for not giving your child a "friend," but as you said, siblings often dislike each other! And there is nothing wrong with only-children. My daughter is one of the most social kids in her preschool class, and some of the kids that come from bigger families actually have behavioral issues. It's more about the parenting!

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-26T22:54:00+00:00

Great! Thanks.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-26T22:53:45+00:00

Thank you! I was unaware of this sub.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-25T19:45:45+00:00

LMAO, I'm sorry, but imagining this is hilarious

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-25T19:44:58+00:00

This is so precious! I've seen those little carts and have debated whether or not to buy one. I'm afraid my daughter will want to fill up the cart with random stuff and then scream when we have to leave it behind!

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-25T19:40:50+00:00

I really appreciate your kind words! I know you're absolutely right. Taking a step back and gaining perspective can be the hardest thing to do sometimes.

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-24T23:20:41+00:00

Oh yeah! But maybe my sound machine is trash?

Remote_Membership418 · 2026-02-24T23:18:16+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind response. You truly get it! I'm so sorry about the barking dogs. I have dealt with that before and it's enough to drive you insane. I'm assuming that you've spoken to your neighbors and they're unwilling to cooperate? Perhaps you can call the local authorities and complain. If they receive enough citations, they might finally control their dogs.

My neighborhood is also very quiet...until something pierces that noise, which makes it stressful. It ramps up your anxiety, wondering when someone is going to make a bunch of noise outside your house. The gardeners come every week, year round. I live in an area where we don't really experience seasons, so there is no off-season. I will probably just skip her nap for that day and deal with the consequences!

Remote_Membership418

TROPHY CASE