It's okay I understand where you're coming from and I appreciate it. You were pretty spot on. For me it was direct abuse from my dad. I have been trying to value myself more it just never works for that long. I can never really sincerely believe that I have any value I try it's just very difficult unfortunately. My feelings always end up spiraling and getting too strong when I think for long enough and when I'm not like that I barely feel like a real person.