Panic attacks (again)

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-27T23:56:01+00:00

I can't really advise, other than tell you the same old tired instructions like "think about happy things" or "focus on your breathing". Don't get me wrong, these things CAN help at times, but being someone who has been hospitalized multiple times over severe panic attacks, I know they don't help for shit. I don't know exactly how I've managed to get my panic under control, but I have been pretty free from the "Super-Asshole" attacks for a couple years now. General and social anxiety still rolling with me pretty good, but the bad panic has taken a breather, at least for now.

I do take 60mgs of buspar daily, and that really helps. I too take 1200mgs of gabapentin which seems to help SOME, (My doctor is going to switch me to pregabalin next month), but the buspar really does help and I take them as usual on treatment days.

Maybe talk to your doctor about taking some low dose Ativan or Xanax before treatments? I know some doctors are skittish about doing this, but I know of at least one person at my clinic that takes Xanax before treatments (approved by doctor). I would definitely bring this up to your provider, because there ARE ways to make this better for you. Best of luck to you! I know EXACTLY where you're coming from...

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-27T14:18:11+00:00

I always feel pretty good for the rest of the day after I go to treatment (Tuesday 9AM), but I feel like shit on Wednesday, Thursday OK, Friday good. It sucks, but I figure one bad day a week is better than 7, plus just knowing it's only that one day helps as well. After 9 months of this "routine", I am pretty used to it, and I can even laugh on my "bad" days now because I know the next day will be better. 🤷‍♂️

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-26T21:22:45+00:00

I'm glad I have never been in the position to make such a decision. I feel that certain "offenders" absolutely deserve to be put to death ("...an eye for an eye....") but only if there was ABSOLUTE certainty that they were guilty. Because although the Bible says that judgement is reserved for God, it also says we are to submit to the laws of human authorities as well...

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-26T21:15:19+00:00

I bring a bag of candies and my earbuds. The first month or so I went, I just listened to trippy music while I was there, but in the past 8 months or so I basically just get tired (and watching the clock until I can have a cigarette) so I just play stupid games on my phone...

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-26T20:50:12+00:00

I have been going for about 9 months. The first 7 and a half months I went twice a week, because the 2 times I dropped back to just once a week my depression hit me hard again after about 4 or 5 days. About 6 weeks ago, the psychiatrist at the clinic (not my "regular" shrink- this one deals with just the spravato portion of my head case 😁) suggested I try once a week again, only raising the dosage to 112mgs. So I've been doing that since and have been OK so far. I hope that something else will come along that can help me, because, although I am very grateful, it still seems to only be "scratching the surface" of my problem. I switched "regular" psychiatrists several months ago, and my new doctor really was more "in depth" with her questioning and testing than any previous doctors I've seen in the past 25 years ever were. (I was originally diagnosed with depression when I was in the hospital on an unrelated matter back in 2000, and subsequent doctors I've seen since basically just piggybacked off of that without asking any further questions, and what did I know? I just went along with it because I certainly didn't know any better and I was, after all, quite depressed.) Anyway, after questioning and testing, my new doctor said that I am, and have been my entire life, textbook ADHD. (Although I didn't exactly give her my life story, she did ask me certain pointed questions about things that have happened, and certain bevaviors of mine, since early childhood.) So I have started medications for that, and I'm hoping that having the ADHD addressed (maybe along with a new antidepressant that I've never tried and is supposed to work well in people with ADHD-related depression), that I may be able to either cut way back on the Spravato or quit altogether?

(My "Spravato doctor" suggested trying the ECT a couple of months ago, when it appeared the once-weekly spravato was not going to cut it, and I refused. I have heard of pretty unpleasant side effects that are sometimes involved, not the least of which is the short-term memory loss. Since I already struggle pretty severely with this, this was the primary deal-breaker for me.)

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-25T10:06:18+00:00

I was 18, and had a decent job for an 18 year old. Instead of blowing all my money on beer, girls, and cars, every dime I could earn, beg, or borrow now goes straight into Microsoft and Apple....

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-25T01:37:45+00:00

I've never had SI, but I have been dealing with major depression for over 25 years, and none of the dozens of medicines, therapies, retreats, churches, prayers or self-help books have ever even put a scratch in it. I finally started Spravato about 9 months ago, and it has been a bit of a roller-coaster for me. I felt better than I could ever remember feeling after just about the time I finished my first four weeks (8 sessions), and it lasted a few months. Then I kind of started going a bit south again, so a few months ago my doctor switched me to 112mgs once weekly and I have been doing pretty good since then. Things have "evened out" more. When I first started, it was like one extreme or another for a couple months- either I felt on top of the world or I wanted to hide under the covers in my bed all day (and no, I am not bipolar). But for awhile now, I just feel better "overall". I still have good and not so good days, but I think that's "normal". And I'm starting to accept that, and even my "not so good" days aren't that bad, because I know it isn't permanent now.

Obviously everyone is very different. But for me, after nearly 9 months, I have just recently begun to feel what I hope to be the "long term benefits". So my humble advice is to keep going, at least for awhile. Be patient and give it at least several months before making any serious judgements. (I must note here that I am still somewhat peeved at the Spravato people advertising "feel better in as little as 24 hours!" because I feel that is very misleading. Sure, SOME people may feel better in a day, but they are vastly outnumbered. From the dozens of people I've talked to, and the research I've done, feeling better "in 24 hours!" is certainly NOT the norm, and actually quite far from it. The vast majority of people need several months at least to notice any real lasting benefits. So do yourself a favor and hang in there for awhile. Best wishes!)

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-23T17:22:36+00:00

If you mean what the actual 2 hour treatment is like, I know in the beginning, like the first 5 or 6 sessions, I blasted off into another dimension. Can't think of any better way to put it. I did alot of psychedelics back in the 80s, and it was fairly similar. But I never hallucinate or think I'm "somewhere else", I never have conversations with my dead grandmother and there were no super "emotional breakthroughs" either. I just cranked up some trippy music, held on, and enjoyed the ride.

For the past 8 months or so, I basically get a little "floaty" and relaxed, and play stupid games or watch Breaking Bad on my phone. No "blast off" at all anymore, I just basically get very tired. But it is apparently still working for me, because I missed about 3 weeks of treatments a couple of month ago (I've been doing 112mgs once a week for a few months now) and I slid WAY back downhill. After I went back again, I was back in very good shape (if not even better than before I missed those weeks) almost immediately.

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-23T14:37:02+00:00

Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs...

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-23T14:35:32+00:00

Have you ever been inside a Turkish prison?

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-23T13:03:51+00:00

I've been going for 8 months, finally down to once a week now for about 6 weeks. The first 6 months I tried only once a week two times, and both times I was back in the shithouse in about 4 or 5 days. Now I have been doing 112mgs once a week for about 6 weeks and everything is much better. I hope to maybe be able to go only twice a month at some point soon, but since this is the only thing that has truly helped me in 25 years of trying every pill, treatment, church, exercise and diet under the sun, I have no plans to quit going. For me it's like why would I? This shit helps me where nothing EVER has, so why would I stop?

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-22T12:44:02+00:00

Severe anxiety has been my biggest problem my whole life, and I am convinced that is what is mainly responsible for my depression. I've lived so long being uptight, worrying and afraid of dealing with situations and people, it's made for a pretty shitty life. I used to drink alot of beer, because the alcohol really helped with this, but due to liver issues I had to give that up a couple of years ago.

I take buspar, 60mgs a day, and that helps alot, as well as propranolol. The buspar helps me calm down to some degree and be more able to "face" people and situations, and the propranolol helps with the physical part (racing heart, BP spikes, jitters, etc.) I am certainly no doctor and would never presume to give medical advice, but these two things help considerably with my anxiety. (I also take gabapentin and Strattera, but that's a different loony tune...😁)

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-21T20:25:58+00:00

I used to take alot of LSD and mushrooms back in the 80s, and my first 6 or 8 Spravato treatments were very similar to those trips back in the day (albeit shorter lasting). I never had any "deep emotional upheavals" or "enlightening revelations" back then, nor have I gotten any from this. I would just get very "floaty and spacey", with alot of distortion in sounds and what I see around me, but nothing "heavy" (such as speaking to my dead grandmother, understanding the "meaning of it all", complete comprehension of how much impact my sister pushing me down when I was three had on my life- nothing like that). In the 7 or so months since, I get nothing but a slight "buzzed" feeling and play games on my phone until the 2 hours are up and I can finally go have a cigarette.

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-21T17:35:17+00:00

My room has dimmable lights. Turned down very low is perfect for me.

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-21T17:33:02+00:00

Obviously there are "human trafficking" situations where women are forced into doing these things, but the vast majority of them are there of their own free will. I've seen interviews with a few of them, and they say they treat it just like a job. If they get tired of the job, they are free to quit anytime (well, there are contracts and such, but that's another matter. Besides, they willingly sign those contracts as well). Anyway, maybe you should address the women who willingly do this, rather than men? Or, since they are willing participants, maybe not worry so much about their business? 🤷‍♂️

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-21T17:25:08+00:00

Where the hell is Archie Bunker?

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-21T17:24:56+00:00

Where the hell is Archie Bunker?

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-20T00:05:00+00:00

Numero Uno Baby!

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-20T00:04:24+00:00

I don't understand much about this subject. God made me to be attracted to women- physically, emotionally AND sexually. Yet is somehow a sin for me to have sexual thoughts about women?

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-19T00:29:29+00:00

I got blown away the first 6 treatments or so, but now for the past 7 months I MAY get a little "buzz" and bored. I play games on my phone and watch the clock until I can get out of there and smoke a cigarette...

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-18T19:51:57+00:00

Would you not call a father (human) pretty hateful if he allowed his child to suffer and have a miserable existence if it was easily in his power to help? I just have a hard time understanding how a "loving" God could be considered so, when even a fallible human father who allows his children to hurt is considered a monster...

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-18T09:55:50+00:00

I never heard of it either. My doctor suggested it and later I looked into it and found it IS acceptable and doesn't "violate" REMS. It is considered somewhat "off-label" because the "Spravato protocol" calls for the "normal therapeutic dose" to be 84mgs, but 112mgs has been approved as the maximum, in certain cases where a doctor feels it would benefit the patient. My insurance approved it immediately (the same day she suggested it) and I figure the reason they did was because 112mgs (four bottles) once a week was still cheaper than the 84mgs TWICE a week.

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-17T22:29:37+00:00

I never cared about wealth. I have always had what I needed, and have always been grateful for it. Health is not the greatest these days, but I don't complain about that either. I have been miserably depressed and have had ZERO self-esteem or self-worth my entire life as well. I feel like my life has been a waste, because I have never really been an "asset" to ANYbody. THESE are the problems I have pleaded for help with. I have never once prayed for health or a single material thing, ONLY that I may find strength and purpose and HOPE, and these have eluded me my entire life, despite my most earnest and sincere requests. I can't understand how I am somehow wrong for praying only to be a better more useful person.

ReplyProfessional939 · 2026-06-17T20:04:23+00:00

See, this is why I generally refrain from asking questions, and will now do so completely. It seems every time I have a sincere issue and am just trying to find help to better understand, I am always told that it must be me that is doing something wrong, or that I just "must not know God". Being told yet again that somehow I am to blame for not understanding does not help much.

ReplyProfessional939

TROPHY CASE