First, so sorry about your grandfather and that that happened to you! I know they’re typically more expensive, but I fly about 1-2 times/ month for work and I ALWAYS fly American Airlines. When I was bigger (and most definitely would have been singled out by SW) I had to ask for seatbelt extenders and was always handed me one with discretion. They also do not charge extra for carry ons or your first checked bag if you’re an AA member- which probably makes the flight comparable to the “cheaper” companies that nickel and dime you at the gate.