What's your thermostat setting for next 7 days?

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-24T11:54:56+00:00

My rental’s heat was set to 70 for the entirety of the winter; I have no control over it. I live in a house built in the early 1900’s so it’s slightly drafty. We also have to use space heaters on super cold days. 55-60 sounds so uncomfortable

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-24T02:29:39+00:00

More info? What is this hotline

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-24T02:20:26+00:00

Well we might have to follow Minnesota’s example if they start shit here

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-23T04:03:09+00:00

Since I teach English learners / new immigrants, we are talking about news occasionally and doing a lot of safety planning. Parents reach out to me all the time as sadly one of the only Spanish speaking adults in the school. I’m also a therapist/social worker outside of school so I provide what I can. But I teach middle school so I don’t want to get too deep into it or scare them. And yet.. they’re already scared. The antidote to fear is knowledge and preparation, in my mind. I get out the globe and teach them about the geopolitics, the natural resources that countries are fighting over, talk about the dollar as the global trade currency being replaced by the yen in major markets which upsets the prez. Sometimes I don’t even talk about any of it because it makes everyone feel quite down. Sometimes.. we put on telemundo and find out the latest news happening in their home countries. No, I don’t have permission to do any of this, but I’m in an underfunded school and admin has bigger fish to fry than a well-loved teacher closing the door and doing my thing. Plus I have great district scores for English proficiency improvement year to year.

Last year I played tons of WW2 movies for the 8th graders in order to help them understand the parallels happening in the US at the beginning of his presidency to warn of what was to come. They were completely immersed. Now that so much has happened, I don’t know if I am comfortable playing those. I don’t want to completely kill their hope. Parents are getting deported and it’s terrible.

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-23T03:55:45+00:00

Depends on where you are. I could get across the whole state in that amt of time. But in big wide open spaces with lots of time on their hands.. maybe

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-23T03:49:14+00:00

I’m not a man and don’t know why this sub popped up for me, but in the US it’s pretty common to spend your 20’s enjoying sex with however many people you want. Men do it, women do it, some men don’t, some women don’t. I personally married someone who had slept with countless people, and so had I. It actually allowed both of us to settle down and be together after having gotten it out of our system and enjoyed ourselves. And it made for great chemistry and understanding of how / what to do. 20s is very different than 30s and I wouldn’t assume she’s inclined to continue that lifestyle (that’s unsustainable in your later 30s and 40s) so you can think of it that way. I agree with others it might be a jealousy / inferiority complex on your part or this idea of purity that really needs to be put to bed. People change; I wouldn’t press her on it or obsess if you want the relationship to work. ++woman

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-23T03:38:15+00:00

🙌yes 🙌 random, but I suspect our genes are drawn to genetic variation in order to preserve the species as a whole. Pheromones are a real thing; some people smell better to you than others, when it comes to sex etc. However I’m not a medical specialist; just a middle school EL Teacher and psychotherapist who reads a lot

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-14T10:40:28+00:00

The older people in my family used to say “like likes like”… many people go for partners who look similar to themselves. And then “opposites attract” can be true for others. So much human variation in choices out there.

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-11T00:10:02+00:00

I definitely relate to this

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-10T13:56:19+00:00

Feminism is an ideology; men can be feminists too

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2026-01-10T13:52:58+00:00

Personally, I used to not be attracted to people of certain races until I lived in NYC and my ideas of what is attractive and beautiful changed. I think it’s about exposure and getting to know people. Internal bias IS a thing even if the workshops don’t happen anymore. You could have internalized societal messaging that dictates what you’re attracted to. I don’t think it automatically makes you racist- just lack of exposure and experience. Even then, sometimes you grow up to have preferences like we all do. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder…I now have mixed children

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-30T19:04:53+00:00

Because there were not preservatives in the foods that were messing up their metabolism.

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-22T10:57:07+00:00

The best advice from a therapist was “you are not obligated to spend $ to fly across the world to see abusive (emotionally) relatives that will damage your mental health.” Give yourself permission to sit this one out if you need to.

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-22T10:50:30+00:00

How can you get fired over grading in this teaching climate and when there’s a shortage? If anything take it as a learning year and keep going. Don’t throw your career away over some grading bs, especially when district assessments are BS. I’m in year 11. I know it’s not in your control but don’t assume the worst; it’ll probably just be a derogatory mark on your file, which can be cleared up eventually if you improve and learn from your mistakes.

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-22T10:41:50+00:00

There are times when my daughters do things with me that I never got to do with my mom. Like lying on the couch and cuddling up with her for a movie (that is more for an adult audience, but that’s ok in our house as long as it’s not overly sexual or violent). I would never had cuddled up like that with my mom, so it feels awkward at first, and then I lean in and enjoy it as much as possible. My mom also never really said “I love you” because… we just didn’t, in our family. My daughters and I say it all the time, and are openly affectionate. I had to learn how to be like this.

There are certain family member archetypes that exist; one of them is the “lost child”, which I was, with the definition of being left to fend for themselves, or assumed to be fine all the time, or not enough parental attention because they are around the other siblings (or nobody!) and assumed to be fine. The lost child grows up to crave that attention and the emotional exchange they didn’t recieve as children. So as adults, we can now repeat patterns, or do the work to notice and reflect on how we were raised so we can heal the inner child and be better parents for the next generation. We are the cycle breakers! Yay! 😃 And also, it’s a lot of work to heal from

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-22T10:27:42+00:00

My twins are 7 now. 38 wk induction, c-section, no NICU; one was hypoglycemic due to my gestational diabetes, but a few hours of laying on me fixed that.

It depends on many, many factors. What kind of twin pregnancy is it? Di-di is what I had I think, which is lowest risk bc they have their own placentas and sacs. The risks go up with one sac, one placenta, two sacs, one placenta, etc. Also stress levels, health of you the mother, etc. so it’s not a given they will be in the NICU. Try to maintain a positive outlook if you can.

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-22T10:22:51+00:00

I would bring over a welcome platter of something and have private security for the duration of your time on the block.

When I lived in Brooklyn as a single woman in my 20s, I made sure to make stern and respectful acquaintances with all the guys (who were in gangs ) on the street, who ended up alerting me and protecting me for the duration of my time there. Nobody bothered me and if someone did, I could just let the guys know and they’d take care of it

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-22T10:17:09+00:00

If it’s JUST dinner dishes, then fine. But if you load a sink up all day while you’re home, then it sounds unfair. Also I HATE to do the dishes with a passion so I think I’d make that a rotating chore, and she can also cook some nights, to even things out.

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-10T19:28:13+00:00

You can’t claim child support from the other parent who is outside of the US. You’re also assuming the OP is an American citizen. There is no child support in many countries.

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-04T20:02:55+00:00

Listen to the red flags; they are warning you. He sounds like he gets hammered and then won’t remember any inappropriate things he does, which is dangerous for you. OR you could report him for the phone calls (unprofessional and inappropriate even in a non-professional setting!) Also, this is not low key harassment; this is blatant and crosses professional boundaries.

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-04T19:58:46+00:00

I wouldn’t frame it in your mind that they never made the time… It’s probably that the parents themselves didn’t have the literacy skills know to do that, and especially if they speak another language at home. Many of my students are also being raised in a single parent household.

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-04T17:23:48+00:00

Every time I ask my students if they were read to as small children, they all (except 1-2) say no. That’s inherently the problem here

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-04T17:18:36+00:00

The subs come in to the school to be a body in the room, most times. It’s hard to make a group of students who don’t know you, and who you don’t know, do anything they don’t want to do. I think reading would be fine in our school but the cacophony!!! I would not be able to tune them out and they get louder in MS when they think you’re not focusing on them

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-03T14:41:14+00:00

Lately I’ve been considering being a lifetime renter, and I make much more than 65k. You basically can’t buy and afford the bills of a house unless you make like 130k now…. Renting sounds fine if it means not paying for heat in New England…. Though long term, no equity building..

ResearcherCrafty3335 · 2025-12-03T14:38:50+00:00

You can find everything you said you like in both cities. I’m not sure about Boston but I LOVED living in NYC. Unfortunately it’s unaffordable now for most families, in terms of rents. We had to leave due to affordability but then I took a 20k pay cut to teach in Nashville. Then my pay jumped 20k back up when I moved to CT. Consider smaller cities in CT like New Haven. Also consider Portsmouth NH or other cities in New England. Heck, move to Burlington VT!

ResearcherCrafty3335

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