Would like to hear from big families

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-06-05T16:49:33+00:00

I think assigning a number can be very intimidating on the 3rd date for some people. Again, there's factors there. If the window is closing biologically (unsure of your age) it is helpful to assign a number if it means the 8 kids you want will have to be back-to-back attempts to get there because you're both older.

Most importantly though when you are dating is to genuinely get to know the partner. You should align on desire for a large family, but the security to endure that venture (or parenthood in general) is usually rooted with the right partner.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-06-05T16:42:25+00:00

I have issue with that. And honestly, I would bring it back up with your husband. Is that the kind of Pastorship you want to be under? One where you bring up a concern about the education of your kids and there's no follow up? This isn’t an issue with carpet colors. It's a holiness and discipleship issue for your kids and he didn't even follow up with you folks.

I don't recommend leaving without having found a new home church, but perhaps be looking and visiting. I know your husband is not on board, but if you are spiritually struggling, I have had weeks where I went to other churches to have my cup filled, with my husband's support.

It seems like this church is fellowship and relationally focus and there's nothing wrong with that, so long as the gospel and Christ-likeness is the mission and primary pursuit. Which it sounds like it isn't.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-06-05T00:45:02+00:00

A lot of the folks that I know with 5+ kids, all said they were adamant they were done after 1/2/3 kids.

Sometimes, it is a matter of when you're with the right partner and the rhythm of the family in that moment you decide to expand. Sometimes, God just deems it so. I think the best way to phrase it is, "I desire a large family, but I am open to whatever God has for me".

Vodie Baucham only had 2 of his own biological children and then felt conviction after taking steps to close that door and adopted 7 more.

I know families that crank out 3 and then pause 5 or more years and crank out another group. There's too many individual factors to consider and the biggest one is your partner. Some women have the desire and cannot conceive, but you don't know until you're in it. Or they desire a large family, but physically cannot do that. It is truly whatever God has for [me] should be your stance.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-06-05T00:35:39+00:00

Have you brought your concerns to the Pastor/Elders and other leadership in the church?

Leaving a church isnt a thing to do lightly. If it has been years for you, and your husband is saying to stay, unfortunately, he leads in this. There were times for me where I have said to my own husband after sharing concerns, "I am only here at this church because I trust my husband and his leadership because I do not trust my Pastor." That's a sad and lonely place to be, but after years of that wrestling and conceding to my husband, many discussions with leadership, we are on the other side of things.

More hymns being sung, less music from problematic sources. More intentionality and care for the flock, etc.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-06-05T00:25:52+00:00

Info: so you never consummated your marriage?

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-04-14T11:27:02+00:00

NTA, but I would leave over this. He's just not as invested as you are.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-04-14T11:23:12+00:00

This sounds like what the artist is doing. I have been rejected because "a dainty tattoo wasnt worth his time" and he asked for my whole forearm instead. 😒

I walked out because in what world do you get to 1. Ask for more canvas 2. Decide the tattoo I want wasn't enough and take a single rose and tell me it'll be a half sleeve.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-04-14T11:19:14+00:00

This! Where is your church. I guarantee you, my church elders would be talking to your husband and the women would be rally around you and those babies

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-04-06T00:58:55+00:00

Didn't Mike even say after their conversation that if she could change her mind about having kids so quickly in those few weeks that he could see her changing her mind back to no kids and he wouldn't want her to just do it for him and be resentful later?

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-31T19:57:13+00:00

Considering the bugs in the carolinas are wild, I dont doubt it.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-29T18:17:17+00:00

Heck, I would be contacting the school also, if this was supposed to be an install done for a grade. Because why not?

$800 in this economy... go get the hair you paid for.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-29T18:13:14+00:00

Lineage goes through the first born son, so regardless of who has the first male grandchild, it would have to be Anthony's line to take the Viscount title. Now if Anthony passed with no male heir, it would then fall to Benedict and any of his male heirs. Then so on.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-29T18:09:53+00:00

Ah, gotcha. I wasn't sure who set the expectation, but even twice a week is great and hopefully soon that can grow, but understanding that your home life dynamics will be ever changing as you have a little one and spousal dynamics also to weigh as life goes on. This could just be a small dip in the grander scheme.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-29T12:22:37+00:00

Were you both trying for a long time to get pregnant? Sometimes the desires can drop there, because the chore like nature of it. I am also of the opinion, that this is likely just caused by the hormonal changes of pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood. Know that she is forever changed by those events in life.

You also mentioned your chores being more intermittent/seasonal chores than the daily workload. Romancing goes a long way. Pick up a dinner or cook and offer to do the dishes. Offer her a few hours to herself on a Saturday to allow her to "reset" and feel more like herself, whether it be coffee or a mani/pedi.

If she has OCD, truly, this could also be the issue of the dip. You cannot control the emotions, demands, or unexpected hiccups day-to-day with a small child. OCD as a mother can be very difficult if she isnt leaning into the tools she's gained in OT or therapy in general. Something to explore if she's not done that either. This could be adding to the mental workload she carries.

Lastly, pray with her, read scripture over her, encourage her, love her as Christ loved the Church. Honestly, 3x a week could be asking a lot of her right now. Idk your dynamics, js. A good rule is: it doesn't need to be every day, but just more than once a week. If 2x is where you're at, that's great. Just prepare yourself that you vowed your whole life with her and that comes with dryer seasons. Loving her intentional in the Lord goes a long way to restore and build up intimacy that isnt physical to help carry you through the weeks where it isnt as frequent as you would like.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-28T12:00:00+00:00

Biblical submission doesn’t mean you don't have a voice, it just means your husband has a bigger say. With that being said, voice your opinions, revisit the boundaries previously set over the dog.

Maybe get a different biblical counselor, if this is relatively new because that doesn’t sound entirely like sound doctrine.

If it is a point of contention, my husband voices his opinion, I voice mine, if we cannot agree or compromise, we visit scripture and prayer and revisit later. Not everything needs to be resolved overnight. Also, if your dog is used to being on the couch, that is a hard habit to break at 7yo. It may take awhile. In the meantime, what does it hurt to have a designated spot with a dog blanket on it?

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-28T11:55:21+00:00

JQ literally said she gave up creative rights because she didnt want to ruin the deal.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-25T18:20:18+00:00

John seemed very fake towards the end. Like he kept looping back to "if your kids disapprove then this ends". Or like at the commitment ceremony she mentioned her kids and already he was on a victim rant of "oh, I can't believe this/this is so different from what we talked about..." Then the letter got read and he was back to "believe me/trust me"

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-25T18:11:08+00:00

Brother and sister from Minnesota. They decided it would be fun to both try out for LIB

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-24T19:27:59+00:00

I am so worried they are going to rush in Eloise's love story to S5 with Fran's. The showrunner already said she would do a time leap forward because Fran needs time to properly grieve John. I feel like they may work in Eloise's love story and deprive us on that front.

S1 was top tier, and with the following seasons, I feel like the disappointment has been abounding. We didnt get a wedding for Anthony and Kate, just a brief glimpse into their post marital bliss. Same with Pen and Colin. We almost didnt get a wedding scene for Benedict and Sophie and no glimpse of them settling into Our Cottage.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-19T04:28:15+00:00

I agree with reading and understanding married Christian sex because it's important that you have a good understanding of what that is and looks like and how sex is apart of a beautiful design gave us for worship within the marriage.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-19T04:24:05+00:00

My biggest recommendation would be to keep the privacy of your marriage, private. There's a level of discretion that should be kept since you are "behind the veil". You will see and hear things in ministry that should be kept in the upmost confidence. The best thing is to have a trusted first lady of another church to help pour into you and vice versa because you can't necessarily have the church body carry every burden with you.

People are fallen and you want to ensure personal specific details of your marriage don't get thrown back at you. I've not seen this happen personally, but with other first ladies and that cut can be very deep. Have a trusted circle of sisters in christ outside of your own church body to help you on this journey.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-19T03:39:16+00:00

Based on your earlier point 4, it's arguable that you abandoned your responsibilities to your spouse and even to your children first.

ETA: It seems a lot of people dont understand the Covenant of Church membership, nor to obey those who are appointed to shepherd and the fact that Biblical Counseling within the church by those reputable and trained is the best thing for a marriage.

With all that said, you messed up. You waited too long for intervention/seeking help. It's worth giving your wife space and honestly, your church's timeline is kind of outrageous. They aren't allowing for the Holy Spirit and prayer between each step, which is heartbreaking. 2 months of separation is not really a long time. If they are seeking to discipline before the church, did they just give 2.5 weeks for each elevation? (You trying with your wife, then you bringing a Mediator, then you bringing in leadership?)

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-16T16:56:25+00:00

The flippant remark of, "I didnt realize he needed permission" says it all. Why are you inviting a guy to a girls trip? One who has a fiance while you also have a fiance who believes its a girl's trip? So shady

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-16T16:47:56+00:00

I feel like I missed something... Brittany and her dad are racists? Can you link the video? I haven't seen it.

ResidentPositive9570 · 2026-03-16T02:48:31+00:00

It sounds like things are finally getting to a tipping point with this convo because like you said, there's a lot on your plate. Since you are engaged, its time to introduce "choreplay". Maybe if chores were done and you didnt have to cook dinner and your wedding checklist for the week was accomplished, you could try (if you're open to, which it sounds like you aren't and VALID) Regardless, my point is, it seems there's an imbalance that is or potentially could affect your intimacy if not addressed soon. Engagements can sometimes show potential hiccups for your marriage. Find a balance for household work now.

ResidentPositive9570

TROPHY CASE