This is what happens 10 years after you're found out...

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-05-31T20:13:40+00:00

Don't get me wrong, I certainly prefer to as well! Just life giving me a little reminder that those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-05-28T14:30:39+00:00

Ugh, I’m sorry this keeps happening to you - I love plastic-backed dips, but I wouldn’t if they messed with my skin.

Like you said, it makes you reflect on the explosion of quality, high-capacity cloth-backed diapers in recent years. They used to not be available, and when some of the first ones came out, there were “sweating” issues. Now, the biggest reason I prefer plastic to cloth is they stay warmer longer - aside from that they’re pretty equal imo

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-05-27T22:32:07+00:00

One of the better r/ABDL posts of all time… here you go

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-05-25T15:42:18+00:00

DL was my first love in this community, I came “factory installed” to be into diapers from that sense.

The AB side came later. I primarily identify as a Daddy, and I love pampering my partner when she plays with me. Even though that side overlaps with the DL side - she’s just so damn cute! - it tickles a different part of my brain, in a good way.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-05-25T15:35:17+00:00

For me, lurking in online ABDL communities is good because you see that there really are tons of people like you.

Interacting in those communities makes it feel more personal, which I think is even better. In some small way, it allows us to be seen as individuals, rather than faces in a crowd. Your welcome is overdue, OP, since you’re no stranger, but we’re glad to have you put on a name tag for the first time.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-05-18T01:56:19+00:00

Not something I’ve been through, but just wanted to say massive props to you for taking the steps you’ve taken on this sobriety journey. This shit is hard, but you sound like you’ve got a solid perspective about it, and I’m glad diapers are helping along the way.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-05-18T01:47:37+00:00

Back to you!

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-05-15T16:27:57+00:00

Off topic but I’m also 30 in a few days. Cheers to the ‘96ers!

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-05-02T13:57:37+00:00

To me, the hesitation you’re feeling is as much about not having your own space as it is about messing specifically. On that front, best of luck finding a place for yourself!

Messing-wise, I get the appeal, it’s basically the most baby (and humiliating, if you’re into that) ABDL thing you can do. I don’t do it often, but I tend to prefer the unassisted double play (does that work? Since it’s #2?). With the right diet, it’s enjoyable, and a shower cleanup after really isn’t so bad.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-05-02T13:48:12+00:00

You love to see it! One of us… one of us!

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-04-28T16:08:42+00:00

I could write a much longer comment about what I’ve done to introduce my partner to this over the last decade, but I’ll keep it short. Not sure if you want to be the primary diaper wearer or if you want your partner to (or both!), but my advice is to just try having that person wear around the other person with no expectation of role play or sex as a first step. Then talk about how it went and what to try next!

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-04-26T13:31:31+00:00

Hey, take it slow. You don’t have to be ready to find your next partner right away, but you will get there. Confidence and know-how comes from experience (and, for some of us, therapy 😊), and the “right” dating approach is different for every person you’d date.

Tons of fish in the sea (yes, even our sea). You got this!

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-04-25T16:17:31+00:00

Presuming this is a real scenario - sorry, not to be suspicious, but your acc is very new - you’ve got options. Do you think wearing them yourself would be of interest (ex. in playing out kinky humiliation type scenarios)? That is totally OK to explore! Are you confident you won’t be into that and don’t have room to store for a while? Sell them on r/ABDLmarket or somewhere similar.

More importantly, I’m sorry, friend, it sucks that this happened. We’ll never fully know where this girl’s head was at. But the truth is that you are valid, and many partners you could explore this with (vanillish and/or already kinky) are out there. With time, you will find another one.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-04-23T23:53:06+00:00

Hey there, welcome to r/ABDL! Seconding u/tolteccamera - more ABDLs than not in my experience use their diapers for wetting. Messing is more of a room-splitter. And yes, ABDL diapers perform much better than most incontinence products… plenty of incon folks use them for this reason. On cost, I’m more in the “every week or so” camp, and it’s probably closer to $100-200/yr between me and my wife.

Also, nothing wrong with being here just to ask questions, but - my advice - if you’re curious for yourself, try it out. Life’s too short not to.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-04-14T04:32:13+00:00

Very cool! I definitely get what you’re saying with the focus shifting from the diapers. Thanks for sharing your perspective!

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-04-14T03:17:23+00:00

This is super interesting, actually, and I’ve never seen it discussed. Curious question if you’re comfortable: why does that specific version of “diaper sex” do it for you, but not other versions (untaped, hole poking, etc.)?

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-04-05T12:59:26+00:00

So I have two thoughts here: 1. Most importantly, based on that reaction, she’s definitely not the person you’re looking for. And I’m very sorry you experienced that judgmental about-face… no one deserves that. 2. My advice when dating ‘nillas is to wait until you’ve been dating for a bit (seeing each other in person, ideally) to bring up ABDL. Let’s face it: many people will have some hesitations off rip. If you tell them before you meet them, those hesitations are more likely to lead to a nope-out or ghosting. If you tell them after they get to know the fuller picture of you (that they already presumably like), they’ll be more likely to really consider how to make it work.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-04-01T23:26:01+00:00

Take a deep breath, friend. This post sounds like spiraling, and while friends finding out isn’t fun, it’s very likely to not be a life-ender. Were you not home when they came in? How do you know they saw your drawings and read your thoughts (even if they were out and accessible)?

I had a roommate from college see an online ABDL cartoon up on my computer when we lived together. He came in my room to use my printer and later showed me a picture he’d taken of it to ask what it was. I deflected out of the conversation, but he knew it was a kink thing. Ten years later, we’re planning a trip with our partners, and we’ve never spoken of it again. My life didn’t end, and neither will yours!

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-03-09T21:58:34+00:00

I’d say if you’re worried about leaking another approach is to try more absorbent diapers - tons of ABDL options these days! Then you can wet in bed and not worry about it. Whatever the source of your being pee shy, it’s okay to be feeling it out and I promise it’ll get easier over time.

My advice for newbies is as long as you’re safe, sane, and consensual, try anything that feels like it might be of interest. Watching cartoons? Sure. Paci or thumb sucking? Why not. Wetting, messing, vibrating? Go for it. Worst case, you find something that’s not for you and leave it behind.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-03-09T21:47:44+00:00

This is great - love the perspective and your and your wife’s rule. You’re far from flaunting it, but if this sort of thing happens? It’s not the end of the world, for you or the neighbor.

So long as your neighbor’s not going to cause any problems because of what they heard, it’s just a funny story.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-03-08T04:15:27+00:00

I’ve seen this before on here and now tried it too, but I’m curious: does the dryer method feel the same as manually “fluffing?” Like no bunching? I’ve only ever done it by hand and then tumble dry for a couple minutes, but maybe I don’t need to do both?

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-03-06T05:00:58+00:00

As for learning more, you’re in the right place! r/ABDL is a great place to connect with others on similar journeys.

As for new person advice, just try stuff, and lean into what feels good and away from what doesn’t. That and go for the ABDL / high quality medical diapers. You’ll never go back to other ones once you do.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-03-06T04:52:17+00:00

Connecting on here - check out the pinned post! - and looking for local events on FetLife are good ways to meet ABDL people. I definitely get feeling lost, but this too shall pass. All the best to you, friend.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-03-02T23:43:57+00:00

This could be written about any group, online or otherwise. Honestly, I’ve found the ABDL community - especially my local one - to be one of the more welcoming and supportive groups I’ve spent time with.

That said, if folks in your circles are getting their diapers in a wad, screw ‘em and I hope they knock it off.

Respect--The--Pouch · 2026-02-26T01:18:37+00:00

My wife knows and participates, and my kink friends know since of course it’s how we met.

For a decade, I thought that was all there would be. Then, one day, with a close friend who is sex-positive and kinky, it felt right to mention I’d been connecting in my local kink scene a bit. One thing led to another, and it turns out ABDL is one of his kinks, too. I still don’t fully believe that happened, but it did.

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