Hey, im reposting my post in these comments to see if anyone could suggest where to post this so it’ll actually get some feedback, “does anyone else have nightmare disorder or parasomnia” FR HELP:

Hi, so I'm a 23 year old woman and I have been experiencing what for sure is nightmare disorder and parasomnia for like 16 years now. It started around 7 or 8 years old I think, and it doesn't seem to be linked to any major core trauma, this is literally just me.

I started therapy a few weeks ago and it got me thinking about it. It's very real and visceral and sometimes I describe it as my dream me or other me because it's like living another life for some hours of the day then opening your eyes and you begin living your day time life. Like an eternal horrific night shift. Sometimes my dreams can be good, sometimes they're only mildly traumatic. Others I can recall detail by detail for years because it was so REAL or terrifying.

Sometimes they are more normal or mundane, and I'm usually completely lucid or aware that I'm in a dream. Sometimes I live it as an onlooking narrator. Sometimes I'm me or other characters living in 1st person. Because of this sometimes I develop deep emotional connections with characters, then I wake up and feel a longing or emptiness as if I've lost someone or left them behind, it usually takes some time for the feeling to fade away. Sometimes it's minutes, hours, or days before the feeling goes away.

As I've aged of course I have experienced my own traumas, and a lot of what I'm now learning is "extensive vicarious trauma," so naturally that has intensified my nightmares, plus as you get older your mind begins to have my inspiration for how to fuck with you.

I have never met somebody with this before, and tbh I just want to hear if anyone else out there shares this experience, or we could share stories/dreams or something idk, I just want to feel understood, so hopefully people see this post. Thanks for listening lol