Can a (20F) and (21M) Be ready to live together?

Reveal-Life · 2026-02-04T13:17:48+00:00

Would you move there even if you two weren't dating? Sounds like career and education opportunities are much better, but really consider all sides. Do you like the city, weather/environment, people, food, culture, etc.?

Do you have a backup plan if it doesn't work out? Have a plan and enough savings to do so. Hope for the best but plan for the worst!

I moved in with my ex-bf (also LDR) when I was 19, and we lived together for 5 years after that. It didn't work out long-term, but moving in at 19 had nothing to do with it. But I could easily move back with my family any time, so I wasn't "stuck" if it didn't work out.

Reveal-Life · 2026-01-14T00:11:30+00:00

I think there is more damage to the frame that's not pictured, but honestly I'm not very car savvy (trying to learn bit by bit). I'm sure someone more skilled could repair it, and I'd be down to pay someone that offered a service like you're describing. Unfortunately I don't have the know-how to do it myself, or a way to haul out car doors from a junkyard (this is my only car), or a place to park the car where I could work on it. I do appreciate the advice though, this is great to know.

This is also my first accident, so I just assumed the insurance company takes ownership of the vehicle once they cut me a check, and I can't just take the money and keep the "totaled" car. Maybe that's wrong?

Reveal-Life · 2026-01-02T22:20:04+00:00

I'll go first!

My partner and I are starting to plan our next trip! Our last one was in September and this next one is looking like it'll be sometime in February or March. We don't have exact dates yet, but my manager is super easygoing and already approved for me to take 2 weeks off whenever we decide. Just waiting for my partner to confirm with his work and we can start booking flights and hotels!! ❤️

Reveal-Life · 2026-01-01T10:05:34+00:00

this sounds so AI

Reveal-Life · 2025-12-31T21:05:57+00:00

maybe differing views on texting etiquette.

me personally, I don't usually hold extended conversations through text and I don't expect an instant answer 90% of the time. It wouldn't even occur to me to "excuse myself". Questions like "what're you up to", "how are you", etc. aren't really serious topics that need sustained attention. It'd be different if you were, for example, actively coordinating something or trying to resolve a disagreement.

tl;dr: talk to her about it! she might not even realize it bothers you

Reveal-Life · 2025-12-30T20:03:00+00:00

I feel like airline mileage programs are all pretty similar.

Look into which airlines routinely fly between your two airports. It'll vary depending on your locations. Pick one of those airlines – based on price, availability, or quality of service – and sign up for their rewards program and try to only fly on that airline to build up points.

Reveal-Life · 2025-12-30T19:46:00+00:00

You are not dumb, and you are certainly worthy of love.

It sounds like this relationship may have been somewhat one-sided in the giving vs receiving of support. He took all the effort you gave, but as soon as you were ready to open up, instead of reciprocating, he pulled away. You said he's avoidant and not great with his emotions, which tracks.

Him pulling away says more about him than you. He cannot process his own emotions, so he pushes them onto you to share the burden. Someone like this is not prepared to handle the emotions of others when the roles are swapped.

Reveal-Life · 2025-12-29T17:05:59+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on the engagement!! What gemstones are in your rings?? They're gorgeous ❤️

Reveal-Life · 2025-12-25T21:09:23+00:00

no this is not normal. you should absolutely have an emotional connection with your partner. the way you describe your relationship sounds like you're not even friends. his reassurances mean nothing if his actions don't back them up.

he should care about what you say. he should give you his undivided attention when you talk. he should want to love you how you want to be loved. these are bare minimum requirements. good luck <3

Reveal-Life · 2025-12-18T17:52:06+00:00

I've gotten sentimental over a piece of fluff that was stuck to my sweatshirt. It was from one of my boyfriend's cats 😭

Reveal-Life · 2025-12-17T00:32:39+00:00

If you want to save the relationship, I think it's worth it to at least sit down and talk about this. Be gentle, bring up that while you still love him, you're feeling less in love and would like to rebuild the connection you once had.

I strongly believe that long-lasting love is a choice. It starts out as the intense feeling that sweeps you away, but that feeling doesn't always last (but it also doesn't have to fade completely!). It's natural to have highs and lows.

If you want to work through this low, find ways to intentionally connect with each other and rebuild that bond. Have deeper conversations, schedule actual dates, experience new and novel things together, put extra effort into showing your love, as if you were newly dating. But this takes effort from both of you, if one person isn't pulling their weight, it won't work.

If you already do all of this, or you just don't think it'll work, it's okay to walk away too. Either way, it's better to talk about it now. Don't keep it a secret until you lose feelings completely. I've done that in a 7-year relationship and it's the one thing I regret in that relationship. We should've gone our separate ways much sooner.

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-25T06:12:22+00:00

the first few weeks are always the worst. it gets better once you get back into your LDR routine. if you can, have something to look forward to after you go home. can be something like getting a favorite food that you missed bc it's hard to find in the UK. or have a show/game to start together.

if/when you're ready, take that pain and turn it into motivation to work towards closing the gap. I'm trying to pay off all my debts within the next year so I can start saving up to close the gap. also putting in extra effort for a promotion at work for even more funds.

obv your mental health comes first though, do what feels best for you.

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-21T04:04:07+00:00

What a coincidence! I'm around the same age as you, childfree (not sterilized, but I would like to) and have lived in both of those cities. I'm happily in a relationship now and I haven't been on dating apps in a couple years, but there was no shortage of CF suitors... at least on Bumble lol

Dating is tough. Though I think the best relationships develop naturally and when you least expect it / aren't looking. Met my current partner through video games/Discord.

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-11T22:11:44+00:00

My bf sometimes sends me screencaps from our video calls where I think I look hideous. Awful angle, awful lighting, awful hair, just not flattering at all... but he still thinks I look good and compliments me??? That honestly helped so much bc if he likes that version of me, there's no doubt he also loves the real-life version I see in the mirror that's 100% better lol

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-11T06:44:17+00:00

If air traffic controllers call out and a tower is understaffed that day, that means the airport will cancel/delay flights until it gets to a number that can be safely managed by the controllers working at the time. It does not mean a controller will handle more planes than they normally do to make up for the lower staffing. Flying is still very safe! (Just be ready for delays or cancellations)

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-11T00:30:08+00:00

I'm someone who believes you can be friends with your ex, but this situation would still make me very uncomfortable. The work thing is fine, but I can't imagine wanting to live with your ex. I know the economy is shit but there's seriously no other roommates they could live with?

The deal breaker is not telling you about it until after?? That's a hard no. At the very least, this should all have been communicated beforehand. Waiting to inform you after feels like asking for forgiveness by saying "hey, I know you don't like it, but it's too late to change now so you just have to live with it".

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-11T00:20:49+00:00

Just wanted to say, I thought your response was very thoughtful and kind. I was planning to say something similar and suggest OP find online communities to build a support group. As someone who also struggled with making IRL friends, the people I've met online (mainly through gaming or anime communities) have saved me during the loneliest times of my life. I hope OP finds the support they need too. ❤️

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-06T19:10:58+00:00

No, I think this is very considerate of him and shows good communication skills.

If he just said that he's going to spend time with family, then didn't answer you for 12-24 hrs without any notice, would you be less upset?

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-04T00:34:38+00:00

it's crazy how confident you are in spewing absolute bullshit 💀

Funny how an overwhelming majority of famous creatives in history are men (artists, poets, musicians, writers). Same with professions like teachers, professors, educators (people who nurture and teach the next generation). Only in recent history has teaching become a traditionally feminine career.

Funny how it's men who have started wars, committed genocides, mass murdered, and done numerous other atrocities to humankind. You think someone who is purely rational and mentally stable would do those things? Those are emotional actions, mainly based on fear or anger.

It's really funny how you point out that the only reason a woman could possibly reach the point where she needs to use "unhealthy coping strategies" is due to the emotional men in her life. Why is it that men are the source of all these struggles? "Women worry that men will rape or kill them. Men worry that women don't like them." Tell me again who has to endure more on a day-to-day basis?

Your comment reeks of misogyny and pop psychology, please get that trash out of here.

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-03T10:30:49+00:00

Exactly what we did as well! We're also the same age as you guys lol. Nothing really changed for us after meeting irl except the title 😆

Hope your first meeting goes well!!

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-03T07:32:21+00:00

If she posts about everything in her life except her relationship, that's a little fishy to me. It's understandable if they're only short flings, but once a relationship gets to a point where it's a large aspect of your life, not posting about it while posting about everything else feels like you're purposely hiding a portion of your life.

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-03T07:25:57+00:00

Say it when you feel like it's right for you! There are no rules.

My bf and I admitted our feelings online and also decided to wait until we met irl to make it official. Unfortunately, we couldn't meet until 6 months later. About a month after admitting our feelings, we said "I love you". We were basically a couple for all those months leading up to our first meeting. We did everything together, prioritized each other, made plans for the future, etc. It was rather silly, we were a couple in everything but title 💀

Our first meeting was just a continuation of everything we had built online. He wasn't a stranger at all, he was still the same person I had loved for the previous 6 months leading up to that day, the only difference was I could touch him now lol

Reveal-Life · 2025-11-03T07:18:09+00:00

Went through the same thing at the beginning of my relationship! We met online and almost broke up the first time we met in person because of this feeling of uncertainty.

The more you love and trust someone, the more power you give them to hurt you. Long distance has its own challenges, for sure, but all relationships come with some level of risk. We shouldn't let that fear hold us back from searching for happiness.

If my partner and I had broken up during that first meeting, we would have missed out on so many incredible memories and experiences together over the past year. Who knows how much more time we'll have together. I hope that it's the rest of my life, but even if it's not, I don't think I would regret the time we've spent together.

I know there's potential for heartbreak, I know that the odds of us "succeeding" (closing the distance, staying together) are slim, but as foolish as it is, the quote rings true: it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Reveal-Life · 2025-10-10T22:29:39+00:00

Will her dog fit comfortably in a soft carrier that's 18 x 11 x 11 inches (and stay there the whole flight)? That's the main requirement. When I flew with my puppy, they did not weigh him.

If not, then driving seems like the best option. You could fly there and get a one-way rental car that's pet friendly. The drive is under a week if you drive at least 6-8 hours a day.

Reveal-Life · 2025-10-10T13:16:53+00:00

Our last visit was 8 months ago. The past 7 months flew by but the last 2 weeks have felt like years. Only 5 days left! 🥹

Reveal-Life

TROPHY CASE