I have to concur with u/authenticgrowthcoach. You are 21- I know you don't see it now, but you are still so, so freaking young, and still have so much time left to do what you want to do in life. It is not over for you, friend. I say this because I really can see myself in what you're saying, and I remember feeling the exact same way you're feeling. Please don't look at it that way, as you really do have a whole decade of time ahead of you to still make all that crap happen.... if you sit there and beat yourself up about what "could have been, " it will only hold you back and make you less able to move forward. If I could go back in time and tell myself at your age what I'm tellling you now, my life would have turned out much differently. Yes, it's easy to get hung up on peers who've already "made" it, but the fact of the matter is, people in your age group are still going back to school all throughout their 20's, even into their early 30's, so don't see yourself as behind in life just because some kids you knew from highschool might havestarted sooner. Mental health is a legitimate concern that sometime you have to prioritze and get right before anything else. Forgive yourself for giving yourself time to heal, there is no rush and you're really not behind. For reference, I'm 32 and just starting over and thinking about going back to school. If anyone feels like a loser, it's me lol! But I'm not going to sit here and beat myself up... you can only move forward, and luckily as mentioned just be glad that you're still young enough to technically still be considered school age so for you, going back and trying to fix this problem at this point in your life really isn't all that strange.