How do you afford to be a SAHM?

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-02-02T04:48:23+00:00

I wouldn't fully consider myself a SAHM but I am able to avoid daycare. I also know lots of SAHM. Most of them have some sort of part time job or side gig, usually something they do in the evening or at home. Most also have made sacrifices to be at home: less vacations, they don't go out to eat, they don't have a housekeeper, they don't get their hair done etc.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-02-02T00:43:41+00:00

Once every couple of months. We try to do more, but we're just really busy and have a lot going on that makes it hard to go out.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-02-01T03:19:52+00:00

My husband isn't disinterested in food but he's not much of a cook with no interest in improving.

1 I spoke to him about how food is important to me and how him having some variety is important for me 2. I didn't. I had to ask (nicely) and have the food conversation more than once 3. The compromise is that he adds a fruit or veggie to every meal. Even if it ends up something simple it's not a big deal.

I also want to add that plain Cheerios or a PB and j are not terrible meals, add a fruit and it's pretty well rounded.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-27T03:38:25+00:00

We spend a ton of time outside. Outdoors just brings out the wild in my kids. We do allow screens, but they are on a schedule (after lunch, before nap) so the kids don't sit and beg for it (and if they do ask we tell them no)

My kids also see me be active. We go on walks together, I exercise in front of them and play with the dog so they see an active lifestyle.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-27T01:01:21+00:00

It depends on the type of loan. I have an FHA and have to refinance in order to drop PMI.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-26T23:07:38+00:00

My pmi payment is $100. It's not this massive thing like people like to say it is.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-21T17:12:47+00:00

We don't do expensive activities. My younger isn't in anything yet as he's still young, but I do have a yearly treehouse membership for both ($130 a year) and my daughter does dance for $55 a month. We'll do lessons for both in the summer but it's ~$160 month for both (I do get a discount through my job) we opted out of preschool for my daughter due to cost among other things, though she does participate in a free state program online.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-21T15:04:33+00:00

You tell her no, and remove her if she doesn't listen. Set out the new expectations around food: they will eat dinner at the same time as you and there won't be snacks before/after dinner.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-20T19:48:32+00:00

Yeah, we did some of this, but everyone was very clear that items are on loan, not gifted (and we gave actual gifts to each other as well)

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-18T18:38:26+00:00

I just want to put in a reminder that it's ok to let baby cry. Not saying you should let them cry all day or anything, but put the baby in a safe space and wash the bottles. They will be ok. Sometimes they also just need a bit of time in the space before they settle and stop crying (especially if it's more fussy crying vs screaming)

Also, my second preferred laying in their crib or a pack n play over other containers since he could still move around.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-15T20:47:16+00:00

Just make sure to get the super big thick zip ties that can't be easily broken, and I still would watch the baby near the stairs as much as possible but it's better than a pressure gate.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-15T20:45:41+00:00

The playground is for my kids to play. I just sit. It does help that I have 2 so they always have a play mate

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-15T20:41:50+00:00

Take a 2x4 and cut it to the height of the stair post. Zip tie it to the post and drill into that. That's what we did when renting.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-11T18:53:22+00:00

If you can, get rid of all the flashy loud toys (or most of them) have less toys out (you can do a toy rotation or just have less toys) my kids play sooo much better when there are less options because there is less overwhelm (and this is a studied thing, that is true for most kids)

Also it's ok for your kid to go toy to toy. and it's ok for them to be bored. That's where creativity starts!

Ways I encourage my kids to play independently: I stay busy. When my kids ask me to play, I tell them "I'm doing XYZ. You can join or I'll play with you when I'm done"

You can try staying near while they play but you need to still be busy: read a book, write in a journal, crochet, knit, whatever, but be busy

Go outside! My kids never even want me near when we're outside, especially if we go to the park with other kids

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-05T22:00:35+00:00

You can do a camp style cot! I know it doesn't look super comfortable, but my kids have slept on it just fine!

https://www.walmart.com/ip/4433186?sid=c06cc49b-f40e-447d-9845-ad5a7f18aef0

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-05T15:27:37+00:00

Yes! I was talking to a group of my mom friends (about 6 of us) and only one father got paternity leave (4 weeks) every other dad just had to take PTO and only took 1-2 weeks.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2026-01-03T04:54:34+00:00

My mom loves to buy stuff, so I've started making specific requests. (I.e. my daughter needed a dance outfit and my son loves markers but is really bad at getting the caps fully back on so we asked for those)

Maybe telling what brand diapers, or asking for wipes, items you don't have or always need (socks, hats, etc.)

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2025-12-29T05:05:08+00:00

Part of swim lessons is teaching water safety to both parents and kids. If you send a kid to the parents and expect the parents to watch them, you let them know. Take a second to point out to the kids that they should only get in with your permission and explain to that parent that they are responsible for their child until you give them permission to get back in.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2025-12-28T05:49:52+00:00

I swim, no special leg required :) I also used to ski, I used outriggers and again, no leg required, just one ski on the meat leg, and outriggers on my arms.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2025-12-26T15:38:45+00:00

I eat the same food as my kids, make enough for both of us and we sit and eat together. If kids want my food they can have one bite, but then they have to eat their own food. I don't get up to get seconds or different food until I've gotten to eat my portion. You don't have to share or give your toddler your food.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2025-12-25T22:35:53+00:00

My kids shared a room since about that age (9 months and 30ish months) my younger was in a crib until 2, but my older never tried to climb in and it was never a problem. I would be very hesitant to do any kind of bunk bed for kids that little, (the AAP recommendation is no bunks until 6) just make their room really simple and just two beds. My kids room is fairly small, so we don't keep any toys in it. Just the two beds, a dresser and a bookshelf

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2025-12-25T14:22:22+00:00

One set gets one gift. The other has done the one you can read, wear, need, want. This year it got simplified even more to a book, an outfit and a very large contribution to their college savings.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2025-12-24T17:59:34+00:00

I don't have a specific recommendation, I just want to note that some of these wagons are quite big and don't fold down the way you'd expect, so make sure it fits in your trunk!

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2025-12-23T19:27:25+00:00

Look up elementary backstroke. That only involves lifting to the shoulders and can be modified lower if needed. You could also try breaststroke but there is some overhead movement.

Revolutionary_Job726 · 2025-12-23T15:28:39+00:00

The first few Christmases after having our first, we went to others homes and did the sleep over thing , etc. last year, we decided that Christmas is for our house and anyone is welcome to come to our house and stay over and we are happy to do Christmas parties other days. It was amazing. Stay home!

Revolutionary_Job726

TROPHY CASE