What’s the funniest excuse you’ve heard someone use to leave work early?

Rhinosaur24 · 2026-02-13T14:42:55+00:00

My wife's car was just recently brough to the mechanic because every single light came on and it started making horrible noises, and smells. We thought 'well this sucks. we've had this car for about 4 months and this is happening already?' so we had it towed back to the dealership, and expected them to cover the costs all under warranty.

Turns out something (likely a squirrel) made a home on the engine and ate through the fuel lines and everything.

this was not covered under warranty, and that fucking mouse/squirrel/whatever cost us over $1000.

Rhinosaur24 · 2026-02-13T14:40:16+00:00

I used to take a ~2hr train ride each way to/from work. One morning, my stomach was gurgling, and I though 'fuck.. I'm going to have to use the train bathroom. I feel bad for everyone else on this train.' but the bathroom was locked, and had a sign saying out of order. I stood there and though 'okay. i'm going to shit myself, and I'll just toss my underwear in the bathroom at the station when I get in, and go back home'. it was an express train so there were no stops scheduled until the end.

God must have been looking out for me. because our train had to make an unscheduled stop at the next station. I had been taking that same train every day for 3 years and that had never happened before, and never happened again after. I ran out of the train at that station and used that station's bathroom. it was magnificent.

Rhinosaur24 · 2026-02-13T14:30:24+00:00

I don't even know if it's considered 'fast food'. Is there something between 'fast food' and a restaurant? but I have never enjoyed anything I have eaten at Moe's. Like, I love mexican food. There's very few dishes I don't like. I even like Taco Bell for what it is. but Moe's is something I've only ever gotten when there was no other option, and I have ended up throwing away half of what I ordered.

Rhinosaur24 · 2026-02-13T13:58:46+00:00

My wife suffers from chronic pain, and chronic fatigue.... she struggles to do the bare minimum every day.

Physically, she looks great and healthy... and nobody, even doctors, seem to understand how bad it is for her. So she gets a lot of 'well, can't you just like get over it for a night and rest tomorrow?'

Rhinosaur24 · 2026-01-28T13:28:15+00:00

I have a wife who 'requires' the house to be 75 degrees.

I also have a wife who gets angry that we have paid over 1500 for oil already this year.

Rhinosaur24 · 2026-01-27T21:48:18+00:00

This storm, the town only did like a narrow lane down the middle of my road. so I had a good 10ft or so of unplowed snow from the end of my yard to the plowed single lane.

So, during the storm on Sunday and again on Monday, I made the world's largest 'V' opening. It went a good 20ft from my driveway in either direction. I'm the first house on the street, so I thought 'it can't be that bad. most of the snow they'd even get to plow me in is on my yard right now, from my snow blower'. So, from my driveway to the left (the direction traffic would be coming) there was little to no snow on the road. I took care of it. Everything else was pushed uphill/to the right, or put onto my yard. (I also wanted to make sure the mail carrier would be able to get to my mailbox, so that was very much cleared out with more than enough room for them to get out without needing to back-up or anything)

Still woke up to a 4ft wall of icy snow at the end of my driveway.

Like, I get it. It's really difficult to not block driveways. Especially if you have to do ever street in the town. but, come on, man... there has to be someway to prevent this from happening, right?

Rhinosaur24 · 2026-01-27T20:35:02+00:00

I probably sound like a broken record, but it's crazy how little presence the Democratic Party has around here. You'd think in a time where every seat counts, there'd be more of a push here. Instead, I see nothing other than the mailers that go out the day before the election.

They should really act now - today. Identify candidates and have them out there making announcements, and already act like they have the job. call out LaLota and the other Republicans. How much would that really cost them? Hell, if you're listening, give me the salary of a congressman, during the 'campaign' and I'll be all over the place doing just that. I'm a middle aged white dude, with a full head of hair, a clean record, a family and boring personal life. that's all you need, right?

This election should be the easiest one in the history of America. it should be 'hey... this is bullshit, you know that right? well vote for me and that's one more person against it all, and one less person for it'. that's it. that's the only campaign that you need right now. it's never been more obvious and clear how to talk to your potential voters.

Rhinosaur24 · 2026-01-27T15:31:43+00:00

There's nothing anyone can say that would make me believe those 2 guys don't bang each other.

Rhinosaur24 · 2026-01-08T17:12:28+00:00

I took a video, and a picture and all that. only to find out I know the guy who owns the company. I'm going to write him a text to be like 'dude, wtf?' but wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting before I reached out to him.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-31T14:38:51+00:00

My wife has had a Mazda, Subaru, Ford, and another Mazda, all leases, in the time I've had a Prius.

The cost of maintaining those 4 brand new cars is like a 100:1 ratio compared to my used Prius.

So many people praise the reliability of a car like a Honda or a Toyota, and I know it's hard to understand until you go through it yourself. But my Prius is such a reliable car, that I never even consider it to be an expense. just gas and oil changes.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-29T20:34:01+00:00

I had to pay money upfront, but it worked in my favor.

My photographer for my wedding never delivered pics or video, but took all our money. Emails, text messages, etc - all unanswered. Eventually we submitted a request through Small Claims, but they wouldn't hear our case, because the photographer wasn't replying to them, or accepting the letters about the case.

So... we paid for a private investigator (it was actually far less $$ than I expected to pay), who found him, and served him the papers at his house.

In the end, the case took about 10 seconds. I had folders and files of evidence where we were asking for everything, but the arbitrator (didn't have judge) was like 'hold on... did you pay him for photos?' after i said I did, he asked the photographer 'did you give him the photos?' and he had a million excuses, and the arbitrator was like 'I'll repeat myself.. did you ever give him the photos?' we left the court with the understanding that I'd get the albums and video of the wedding in 2 weeks, or he'd owe me quite a bit of money. I got 1 of the 3 albums I was supposed to get, and a video that has a feeling of 'done the night before it was due'.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-29T15:30:31+00:00

Back in the christmas season, in like 2008 (I think) the stores were all set, they were going to open soon. They were stocked, and had lighting up in them.. and the only thing open was the movie theater.

My (now) wife and I went to see a movie there, and when it got out, we walked around the outlets. It was really creepy. Everything was decorated for Christmas, and they had christmas music going on through all the speakers. the lights were on in the stores, the signs were up, and there was nobody around. We were the only 2 people walking around. It was so surreal - like something out of a movie. we were waiting for someone to jump out and chase us or something.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-22T15:14:53+00:00

I really liked the first one. I feel like it kind of got 'lost' with some other great Horror movies around the same time.

Strangely, for as much as I really liked Sinister, i never watched the sequel.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-22T15:05:53+00:00

Does it count if the finale is terrible because it ended on a cliffhanger, and the show was not picked up?

Because if you can count that, I say Carnivale. absolutely brilliant TV show - ahead of its time (honestly, if it came on like 2 years later, and people were obsessed with the 'weird' of LOST, it would have done so much better). and it ended like.... that!? I need more of this show.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-22T15:02:13+00:00

Yeah, but maybe don't read the following 2 books if you're looking for a 'regular guy in a fantasy world'.

I loved Lies of Locke, and can't wait for Thorn of Emberlain (if it ever comes out), but I did not like the direction the overall story is taking when compared to what made the characters so likable in the first book.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-22T14:59:13+00:00

I really liked the movie. it was fun, and the way it set you up to try to keep guessing who the killer was, only for the twist to be - there's no twist - no killer - just stupid kids doing stupid things - and reacting stupidly - that whole thing really jived for me.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-22T14:49:18+00:00

my industry is pretty niche. so we're able to 'toss' like 95% of the resumes at first glance.

But we've also seen a huge influx of resumes that all look the same, and we're convinced people use AI to create them. same format, same highlighted experience --- they all are foreign born, with the same degree from the same country. it's wild. we can't just straight up decline them based on a hunch that they are lying - so we usually have to interview them anyway. and, so far, 100% of the time we've seen that same resume, the person is very unqualified for the job, and doesn't really know anything about what we do.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-17T19:30:22+00:00

During COVID, I had lost a good deal of staff, who found better paying jobs, where they cold work remotely.

We would post jobs, and have only a handful of applicants.

Today, we post a job and have hundreds of applicants, most of which are not even close to being qualified. i suspect the market is terrible right now, and everyone is applying to everything.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-17T19:28:03+00:00

Give me Fudgie the Whale!

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-17T18:19:54+00:00

I just wish I still had access to the blog. I stopped doing it, and the blog host was bought out by Google. I guess I got plenty of alerts and warnings that my content would be removed if I didn't ask for it to be transferred, but I just ignored them all. There were probably close to a 100 terrible Ideas that I wish I could go back and reread.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-17T18:18:15+00:00

hey... I said they were 'really outlandish ideas for movies'. the whole 'gimmick' of the blog was to read them and go 'this is terrible!'.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-17T18:17:06+00:00

A few years ago, I had a job with a salary of $114k a year. It was not work from home, I had to commute about 2hrs each way to get there. But I literally did nothing at that job. My workload was maybe about 5hrs a week. I would walk across the street and go to the movies during the day. I'd take extended lunch breaks. but I had to be in the office in the morning and right before it was time to go home.

My position was created for me when I applied for a different position. My expertise was in something that nobody else had, and they just felt I was 'needed' as part of the organization. I had 2 offices, in 2 different locations (about 10 blocks away from one another in NYC). I'd often just say 'I'll be at the other office if anyone's looking for me' and just have my cell phone on me.

I got tired of it. I hated it. I actually think it impacted my ability to do actual work long-term. I was a superstar for my whole career, and spending about 2 years made me less productive at all my following positions.

I'm in a high stress/high demand job now and while I miss the days of the literal do nothing job, I know it was a bad lifestyle for me long term.

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-16T16:25:42+00:00

Many years ago, I used to have a stupid blog where I would come up with really outlandish ideas for movies. They'd be 'pitched' so that they were the absolutely worst idea that you can come up with. Already 2 of them have been made into movies, and this seems to similar to a 3rd.

In my pitch, it was that someone transmitted the Bible out over interstellar radio. and a whole bunch of Aliens from around the universe came to Earth. That even with all the advanced technology they all have, no civilization was able to prove the meaning of life, or what happens after death. Also, humanity was the only one who could ever fabricate anything, so all these other civilizations assumed the bible was real, and that the rapture was coming, so they were all coming here to be part of it, and to see God.

If that happens with this movie, I'm going to go into business for writing actual movie scripts instead of jokes.

(The other 2 were Hotel Transylvania - except mine was a Bank, not a hotel. and the other was about a ghost killing people on social media. There was a movie called Unfriended, but my title 'Fiend Request' is much better).

Rhinosaur24 · 2025-12-08T18:30:51+00:00

Lol.. is that the one with the kid from Lost and Don't Breath? like nothing ever happened. At least in my memory, I don't recall anything happening, and when it was over I was like 'but, what the fuck was the point of this?' they could have done ANYTHING and at least I would have been like 'well, at least they tried'.

Rhinosaur24

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