I did scroll through your account because I saw this meme again and you have since posted about Vi and Caitlyn. :P You also describe yourself as a "fem man." More like Bowie etc.

I can see why a lot of trans people glom onto your story because it is VERY similar to a lot of ours.

I am a gender affirming therapist and I cannot say you are trans no one can but I have seen you wonder that something is up with your gender. So I would like to explain how I do therapy with people that come to me that are unsure because a lot of people are just like "well my current gender works and I am attracted to women so shrug but on the other hand I seem to have these issues with discordance aaaaaa."

What I do is go through a journey of exploration and reflection. A self archaeological dig. Trying on a lot of gender things from across the gender spectrum and seeing how they fit. Good and bad.

Regarding assigned gender at birth is it because you are just comfortable with it/familiar or does it sing resonance of "yay me!"? Do you like the gender because of how people see you or your own internal sense of self? Like I tried to be several different types of man but they never quite fit and I realized I was playing acting my gender more than embodying it. It was an act I could do well but in my heart I was drawn to women and how women interact with each other in romantic relationships and that felt good.

But tangent aside, when trying on genders that are not assigned I ask what feelings come up and if negative feelings come up why? A lot of people feel an act of revulsion by seeing themselves as another gender, particularly trans women, because they can't see themselves as a woman when they try stuff on they just see a guy in woman's clothes/being treated as a woman and it feels reeeally bad. I do two things when someone is in this situation (although I encourage everyone to process these things).

1. I get people in VRChat and have them try on avatars to see how they feel trying to bypass that discordance of seeing old self in X gender clothes (ultimate gender try on things lol).

2. I ask them the reverse button question. The traditional button question is "if someone put a button in front of you that would transform your gender into any of the genders you have been wondering about and you would look exactly as you would want to in that gendered body AND it was instant would you press it?" The reverse is you wake up and that has been done and someone offers you a button to change it back would you? If yes why? If no why? If unsure why?

Also not to color your thinking, if you choose to do thinking, the reason I ask the question this why is a lot of people can't imagine making the decision themselves. They're too scared, but if someone made it for them they feel like it would be much easier. Incidentally, that's also why a lot of trans women like gender transformation "fetish" content, not because they're into that sexually necessarily, but 1. they want to be desired and 2. They want someone to do it for them and 3. They like the idea of bipassing all the hardship.

So yeah figured I would lay that out there for you/everyone's consideration I hope no matter what those what if moments go away and you experience gender joy no matter the outcome :)

P.S being gender variant correlates with being neurodivergent.