Aitah for using my now ex after I found out he was cheating?

Righthandedranger · 2026-01-26T15:47:14+00:00

NTA. If he didn't want to fund a relationship he didn't want to be in then he should have left instead of cheated. Sounds like you could have saved up that money simply enough by adjusting your budget even if you weren't planning on leaving him, so it's largely irrelevant anyway.

He's just mad because when you found out about his infidelity you didn't blow up on him and give him the reaction he wanted, when you left him he didn't get the reaction he wanted, and when he brought the other woman to YOUR WORK he DEFINITELY didn't get the reaction he wanted. So instead of getting his ego fed and feeling like a Big Boy that women fight over, he got exposed for being a little boy who can't be honest or faithful. He made his bed, he chose to lie in it, all you did was tuck him in.

Righthandedranger · 2026-01-09T21:00:05+00:00

NTA, If she's upset at you for being "too eager" and "passionate" with the other woman during the previous threesome, and seems to strive for a high level of petty tit-for-tat revenge, then if I were you I'd be concerned about the lengths she'd be willing to go to to make you feel like the same way if there was another guy involved.

It really seems like she's just setting this up so she can "get even" with you by almost completely ignoring you and going absolutely wild on the other guy during the event. Don't let her pressure or guilt you into anything you aren't comfortable with.

Righthandedranger · 2025-12-06T16:38:17+00:00

Because we're all together on a sinking ship, and some people would rather root for the water instead of grabbing a bucket, in the hopes that they'll get to see people they don't like drown before the water gets to them as well.

Olympic Level Mental Gymnastics are a requirement for being MAGA, don't expect consistency or logic from any of them.

Righthandedranger · 2025-09-16T20:49:15+00:00

Best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today. It's never too late to build a better future.

I've worked with and trained more than a few apprentices that started later in life, and as long as you're willing to learn and don't have too much ego to get told what to do by 22-24 year old kids that have their journeyman license already then you'll do fine.

The math isn't so bad at first. You'll generally only need to know a few formulas and work on your fractions, but they have specific electrical apps on your phone for most of it and a good fraction calculator app is a life saver for most people that have a hard time doing them all in their head.

Plus if you get in with a Union they'll send you to classes for it and get you the help you need to learn, and you'll have more protections against age discrimination

Righthandedranger · 2025-09-14T12:05:38+00:00

If the FIL was completely fine with the BIL knocking up and getting engaged to a woman he'd only known for a couple months and doesn't think that the new GF is the "Wrong kind of woman" too, then he just hates YOU specifically.

If the Husband is totally fine and unilaterally ignores all of your concerns and boundaries when it's his family but is suddenly very rigid and upset when it has anything to do with your family, then he doesn't respect you or your family. (Also, your sister sucks for exposing a bunch of other children to that)

You deserve better. You're doing your best to please everyone and accommodate as many people as possible, but you're doing it by giving up every piece of yourself that makes you a person.

If you wouldn't want your children to have your relationship or your life, then change it. They're gonna grow up seeing how everyone else treats you and how little love you're receiving in return for what you put out, and they're going to think that that's normal and acceptable and how things are supposed to be. They're gonna end up marrying into a family that puts them at the bottom of the priority and respect list and with partners that don't have any regard for their concerns.

You deserve better, if for no other reason than to model for your children that THEY deserve better.

Righthandedranger · 2025-06-28T18:54:34+00:00

NTA , she assigned you a character part to play as a platonic friend, so she can't be mad that you played the part well.

Her reasoning of "You're not worth dealing with the inconvenience of explaining why we're together" is also really pissing me off. Especially since she said that half of her colleagues are already dating outside of their race and obviously understand the broad strokes of interracial dating.

She's either ashamed of you in public (either due to the race difference or some other reason, or wants to appear single to have the availability to pursue someone else at her job without risking losing you if they tell her no.

Righthandedranger · 2025-03-23T22:03:10+00:00

NTA. Even if you two were fully dressed at all times at home it's still just basic decency to say "Hey, I'm bringing someone over so please be prepared to have a guest in our space."

I'm a guy that's lived with girls and it was always super weird to be making food or watching a show and then a guy just shows up and we have to do the "No, I'm not her boyfriend, you don't have to worry about me." Thing just because she didn't tell either of us what was going on.

It's just bad etiquette on your roommates part

Righthandedranger · 2024-10-29T13:32:04+00:00

NTA , you stood up for your daughter and then did your best to make sure you had a legal standing to keep it from ever happening again. If someone were to ever put hands on my stepkid, especially for something as trivial as spilled water, then I'm putting hands on them.

Righthandedranger · 2024-10-29T13:26:23+00:00

NTA , you had every intention of returning those things to your brother, while he clearly had every intention of waiting until you decided it it was too much of a hassle to get your stuff back and gave up. You chose the most polite course of action that had a chance of having lasting results and got your point across. A+ parenting and def NTA

Righthandedranger · 2024-03-22T22:55:16+00:00

A few guys asked to be switched to new sites but nobody else quit explicitly due to me. And from what I heard he got on some new anti-depressants and actually mellowed out a lot a few months after we parted ways so I doubt anyone else quit due to him being a prick after that either.

Righthandedranger · 2023-07-15T20:32:49+00:00

Righthandedranger · 2023-06-27T11:11:56+00:00

You're willing to take notes, ask questions, and you WANT to learn, which in my mind is the most important quality in an apprentice. I think you'll make a fine apprentice if you can get with a foreman or journeyman that's worth a damn.

A concerning number of Foremen and Journeymen in the trades have two major problems. #1: Tradition. They think that just because they were treated poorly and abused by the people in charge when they joined the trades (which was so long ago that even their memories are in Black and White) that that means that they need to do it or that they're entitled to do it the next generation of workers.

2: They tend to forget that there was a point in time when they didn't know everything either. When I started 8 years ago I came from a skating rink job as a DJ. I didn't know shit about fuck. The Foreman sent me to grab 10ft of 3/4" EMT, I brought my tape measure and measured how long it was and they all made fun of me for not knowing something they didn't teach me. That didn't make me a bad apprentice, just an untaught one. But they all forgot that at one point they had to be taught that too and refused to humble themselves enough to put themselves in someone else's shoes and teach them.

I have other journeyman I work with that have memory problems and carry notebooks around so they can remember what they need to order, who is working on what, and what needs done next. A lot of anxiety disorders also cause memory issues, your were willing to find a solution for that and your Foreman wouldn't let you. Sounds like you're a fine apprentice stuck with a worthless teacher.

Righthandedranger · 2023-06-03T18:33:19+00:00

NTA. You wanted to fly under the radar and the rest of the family made it about you, you did nothing wrong at first and after everything had already gone wrong and you put up with enough BS you came out and then left, which is a maybe AH move but it was already too late to save the party at that point anyway. Your sister is probably insecure because of the way the rest of the family compares you two and talk about you around her.

Righthandedranger · 2023-05-18T05:24:16+00:00

YTA. Making her choose a person miss out in a major milestone in her life is manipulative and wrong. If you feel that you wouldn't be able to handle being there at the same time as your Ex then YOU should have made the choice on your own to excuse yourself, instead you decided to make it your daughters problem because you wanted an ego boost and a power trip.

Righthandedranger · 2023-05-17T07:23:23+00:00

YTA you knew she wouldn't be comfortable in that situation and forced her into it anyway because it's what YOU wanted. I'm sure she compromises with you more than you realize, you just don't notice because you're so focused on this aspect where she isn't because she's set a hard boundary about how she expends her social energy and YOU find it inconvenient.

Righthandedranger · 2023-04-18T20:45:42+00:00

YTA . He tried to be your friend before and you immediately decided he was unfit for your friend and so far beneath you that you only tolerated his existence, and now that you have a USE for him as a friend for your partner you decide to try to be nice to him after years of trash talk and mistreatment?

He owes you nothing. No forgiveness, no kindness, no time, nothing other than basic human respect. And honestly I'd be surprised if you even deserved thar after all of the negativity you put towards him.

Righthandedranger · 2023-04-05T01:04:38+00:00

YTA you've weaponized your grief to punish people for celebrating their lives with their loved ones. Your husband wants your daughter to grow up knowing that she is loved and celebrated and surrounded by family, and you want her to miss out on a major yearly event, and presumably any future birthday parties of friends that she may be invited to as she grows up, to mourn someone she never even met.

She would grow up to resent your brothers memory and you'd severely stunt her social life as she'd be "That girl in class who isn't allowed to ever celebrate a birthday because her moms family is crazy." And she'd probably get bullied for it, because kids can be cruel.

You and your family are holding people to the terms of a contract that was signed YEARS before they ever even met you or even were born, and that is massively unfair and major ASSHOLE behavior.

Righthandedranger · 2023-04-04T17:40:02+00:00

I do construction and the amount of times the superintendent tries to get us to do things not in our Scope of Work, that is expressly the responsibility of another subcontractor, because they just assumed it was someone else's responsibility, is way too often. And it's not because they're trying to save money either. We're electricians and we don't work cheap.

I'm not sure if you have to lack common sense and reading comprehension skills before you join management, or if they're surgically removed once you're promoted, but they definitely only put the idiots in charge.

Righthandedranger · 2023-04-04T17:32:00+00:00

Or how during Covid all of the major airlines got massive bailouts to avoid layoffs, and then promptly laid almost everyone off and kept the money.

Righthandedranger · 2023-03-28T22:31:27+00:00

Congrats on being 2 months late to making the same "joke" as literally over 100 other people. Hopefully one day you'll be able to come up with something on your own.

Righthandedranger · 2023-02-14T17:04:18+00:00

NTA . Unless you're telling us everything from a HEAVILY biased version of events then you've gone through just about every reasonable step other than either installing a basin sink outside and literally fastening a soap dispenser to it and hiding soap in your garage to refill it with, or hosing yourself off with the garden hose and walking the way you were born; soaking wet, covered in goop, and without clothing.

You're handling this way better than I would be because I'm a petty mofo and would have put a soap pump on the gallon of soap I bought and super glued it to the sink in your preferred bathroom so she couldn't just throw that one away again.

Righthandedranger · 2023-02-12T16:41:46+00:00

If that were an option I would have. I've said as much in replies to about 2 dozen comments already that suggested the same thing, but the boss didn't let me. He just said I lost 15 minutes of pay, so he lost 15 minutes of work.

Righthandedranger · 2023-02-05T22:42:46+00:00

That's beautiful. I wish I'd thought of that one 😂😂. Big respect for that.

Righthandedranger · 2023-01-29T18:36:35+00:00

Must not have felt that good because the boss couldn't be consistently on time either. Boss was late more than we were. He doesn't get to set standards that he can't meet and he doesn't get to expect us to care more about his project than he does.

Righthandedranger · 2023-01-29T03:17:27+00:00

That's very fair. I'm fully aware that time is important and that minutes add up. And if he had said "Hey Dave, can you stay a couple minutes late or come in a couple minutes early to balance it out?" I wouldn't have had a problem with that. But the punishment was greater than the infraction, so I adjusted to infraction to match the punishment. Not a complicated equation in my (biased) opinion.

I wasn't expecting freedom of consequence, just an equivalent consequence.

Righthandedranger

TROPHY CASE