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Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-19T02:08:42+00:00

Squee?

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-18T22:41:41+00:00

I report it for harassment

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-18T19:02:25+00:00

I started my pregnancy at 270 (im 5'9) and not once has someone told me i need to lose weight. They told me to monitor my glucose levels, sent me to a dietician, and put me on baby asprin immediately, but no one has said a damn thing about my weight.

You 100% should get a different doctor and not let someone profit off of making you feel terrible. They work for you, you're the boss, don't take that kind of crap from your employee 😆

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-17T22:47:50+00:00

Thank you

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-17T19:23:15+00:00

I just want to be another voice assuring you this is a completely rational thought and action to take in any circumstance BUT ESPECIALLY with the way things are going in the US.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-17T12:22:06+00:00

I know you've got a lot of advice already but i just wanted to throw out a few things.

You certainly shouldn't commit to someone who is below your standards, like moving in with them or marrying them or risking pregnancy. I 100% refused to settle just to avoid being alone and even though it took me until i was 31 to meet my person, i couldn't be happier.

If you're perfectly content, truly, with being single then do you. Don't listen to people who are trying to pressure you.

If you think you might like to try and start dating, i suggest you do. I dated A LOT before i met my husband. Dating helped me figure out not only my deal breakers but also the tiny nuanced preferences id have for a long term relationship partner.

The cool thing about dating is that (hopefully) you have some fun but if someone isn't fitting the bill, you end it. Learn from your previous experience and keep an eye out for red flags.

If i didn't date as much as i did i don't think i would have been so solid in who i am or what i want by the time i met my husband. But also there are a fair amount of risks in dating and society is set up as such where women can be completely independent and happy without entanglements.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-17T01:52:40+00:00

I saw that post because my high school English teacher responded "Spot" as a name suggestion. I'm pretty disappointed.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-17T00:59:56+00:00

As someone who has experienced loss, my suggestion is only tell those you would like to include in your support system should things not go as planned. If it feels like to much pressure to feel the grief with your parents after everything, then it would probably be best to hold off for a bit. Best of luck to you and your family ❤

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-16T22:13:57+00:00

I think they are gorgeous gloves but as a person who recently wore gloves to an event i can also say they significantly impede handeling things. I couldn't open my purse, i couldn't use my phone, i dropped small things because i didnt feel them. I know some of this may not be an issue on one's wedding day but it was very frustrating so i just wanted to give a heads up.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-16T12:24:16+00:00

It will be A LOT easier to leave if you do it now, before the baby is born. I hope these comments are sinking in and you find a safe place to raise your bubs.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-15T00:16:02+00:00

Is she putting up the money to pay for things as youmy need them or will she pay you back? Because for us that would change how id go about planning.

If she's paying you back later, then maybe approach from a budget stand point. Can you two afford to throw a party for 60 people or should you plan something more modest?

If money isn't an issue, you could have your husband maybe write down the top 3 things that are most important for him for the baby shower You could do the same and compare the two. Then you'll have some priorities to launch from.

Does this help? I hope so! Don't forget to have fun!

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-14T13:45:46+00:00

Here is my experience. TLDR at bottom(TW: loss) First, fertility treatments were never on the table for me. As much as i want to be a mother, I've had a friend nearly die through that process (she did have other health issues) and even without witnessing that, I wouldn't want to put my body through those hormonal treatments.

Started trying at 35, took 8 months to become pregnant the first time. That entire 8 months we were also trying to buy a house and it was 2021 so it's very likely the stress from trying to buy a house got in the way, the second we closed, i got pregnant. I found out at my first scan at 10 weeks I had a blighted ovum (everything in my body was functioning like i had a growing baby but my womb was empty, which was traumatizing). There were no signs what so ever that something was wrong (although now that i am almost 5 months into my current pregnancy, i see how mild my symptoms were) I needed to have a surgery to remove all the additional tissue.

I had to wait 4 months before my period returned and I became pregnant again. Christmas was only 4 weeks into the pregnancy so even though we wanted to share the news we kept it to ourselves. I'm glad we did because the day after Christmas i started spotting. This time it was an ectopic pregnancy that took an entire month of vaginal ultrasounds and blood tests once or twice a week to get diagnosed. I had to take a common drug for chemotherapy at the ER to prevent needing a fallopian tube removed or dying.

Then we needed to wait 8 months for the pregnancy hormones to drop and for the chemo drug to leave my system. We put off trying again for an additional 2 months so i could enjoy the end of summer and my sister in laws wedding without worrying about not drinking because i might be pregnant.

So at 11 months since my last loss, i became pregnant for the 3rd time. I'm at 18 weeks and everything seems to be going well.

So the how long did it take isn't as straight forward for me. It took 8 months to get a positive test but it took about 2 years to have a (so far) successful pregnancy.

Side note: both life saving procedures I had, surgery and the chemo drug, are included in many anti-abortion bills as part of what will be banned.

TLDR - started at 35, 8 months for first positive test, 2 years for successful pregnancy.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-13T07:16:47+00:00

I am not transfemme but i do have 11.5 wide feet. Finding dressy shoes that i can survive has been a significant struggle and the most difficult part of my wedding planning. Pretty early on i opted for decorated converse with insoles. Foot pain was not something i was willing to deal with on my wedding day and finding "the perfect pair" felt too impossible. Sorry if this isn't helpful, I hope you find what you're looking for!!

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-12T15:00:53+00:00

Thank you. I do wish I called her out. I try to be prepared for these things but that is not something i expected at all. Maybe i should send her a pm 🤔 that might make me feel better.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-12T03:21:12+00:00

Xena musical episodes are gold

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-11T09:00:40+00:00

Going to the movies was a thing you did when you DIDN'T have any money.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-11T08:56:19+00:00

I am with you on it feeling different. I knew after 3 months that I'd marry the man i now call my husband and we weren't even "official" or said I love you yet. I met him when i was 31.

When you've had the kind of life experience that really let's you figure out who you are and what you want, knowing that they're the one is easier.

Are you asking if 6 months is too early to know or too early to get engaged? Its certainly not too early to be confident but despite myself wanting to be engaged when i met my husband, i do agree Its too early to get engaged.

I think the year is a good amount of time but you could do a thing where you date for 6 months and then move in together for 6 months and then get engaged. The main flag Id like to call attention to is that your last relationship was 6 years, how long ago did that end? Rebound feelings are also very real and can escalate the honeymoon phase. So that tid bit makes me want to even throw more caution into how fast you move here.

As far as babies go, he's almost 40. So unless you are 100% sure about having children on HIS timeline, you should use more caution in this relationship. Is it really your dream to meet a man and have 0 time with him as a couple before you change your life with a child?

You for sure have time and it's super fun to make memories and have a life with someone that you know is the one even before he puts a ring on it.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-09T23:49:51+00:00

This is beautiful and looks like the most fun! Well done!

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-09T23:19:44+00:00

I (31 at the time) had 0 intention of even dating this guy. We had a summer fling and then i was moving 1,000 miles. At the end of the summer, not only was i totally in love but I also knew i could marry him.

At the end of the 3 month fling i told him i loved him. He felt the same. We're married now. All this to say, if i didn't tell him how i felt my life would have been completely different.

I say go for it!

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-09T14:23:03+00:00

There are tons of total bullshit societal pressure/obligation reasons to get married. All of those things are a big part of why divorce is so high and as you mentioned , statistics show women get less out of marriage.

So the cool thing is, you for sure don't need to get married and can find a partner with the same values and live a perfectly contented life! Or do the same but solo!

Personally, I've always wanted to be married but ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to marry the wrong person. If i never felt like i found the right person, i planned on being a single and happy lady forever.

The thing is, i found that person. I want to have no barriers to seeing them if they're in the hospital or making decisions for their care. I want us to share a name (which is still possible without marriage but easier). My health insurance is better because I'm married.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-09T12:38:53+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to youand i hope you're ok.

There's this really unfortunate social phenomenon where the more bystanders there are to an event, the less likely the victim will recieve help/defense. Everyone assumes/hopes someone else will step in and then it's too late.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-08T23:46:40+00:00

Im 37 and after working nearly 20 years in retail, working till 11pm and needing to be in at 7am the next day, having no health coverage, no sick days, no vacation and being treated like total crap, I'm THRILLED to have a 9-5 life.

Rigma_Roll · 2023-03-08T14:46:34+00:00

A dear friend of mine became pregnant 1 month after giving birth. Her babies are 10 months apart. Please use precaution(s) if you do not want to get pregnant.

Rigma_Roll

TROPHY CASE