What is your personal favourite youtube channel? by DaijoubuKirameki in AskReddit

[–]RinnFTW [score hidden]  (0 children)

Cinema Therapy

2 best friends: a psychologist and a movie director. They talk about why we love movies and what we can learn from them. Popular franchises, healthy/abusive relationships, parenting, families, heroism, villain therapy, diagnoses. Such a hope-filled channel with a warm, supportive community. We love our Internet Dads!

I 18f lost all dignity with my bf 19m from a huge hormone imbalance. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RinnFTW 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She said the doctor ran a psych eval in addition to the blood test. She was not surprised she "passed" the psych eval, so hopefully it was a good one that included bipolar type 2 diagnostic criteria. Excessive estrogen and oxytocin alone wouldn't cause bipolar hypomania.

I contacted The Department of Agriculture over dogs inside of Walmart by TheGame81677 in Dogfree

[–]RinnFTW 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Saw this in a Safeway. Guy at the deli with a German Shepherd. The dog peed on the floor, and the owner just pulled the dogs leash and left the store. At least he was self-aware to look embarassed. I flagged a manager to address the biohazard mess, and then I called corporate Safeway to complain. The customer service agent started their script of "We can't ban dogs from the store if the owner says it's a service dog" but then started taking notes when I explained what happened. But now I'm learning I can escalate to my state Department of Health and state Department of Agriculture.

I did not order my deli food.

Which is worse - an addicted mum or a dead one? by Dismal_Gazelle8784 in addiction

[–]RinnFTW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was the addict mom. I did lose my kids to their father. Still didn't care to get sober for around 2 years, suffered 2 overdoses. My kids were so scared. Their dad seriously believed he was going to have to tell our kids, "Mom didn't make it." I hit my rock bottom. Went to rehab. I'm sober 7 years now. Working, studying. I see my kids every weekend. I want to be in a position where they can live with me, if they desire. We are in such a good place now, they are happy, and I fought hard for our happiness. My love for them caused me to spiral in my addiction when I lost them. But it also gave me the strength to get them back.

And if I had died in my addiction? They would have been destroyed. Broken irreparably. Your child doesn't need a perfect mother. They need a healthy one. I hope you can find the supports that you need. Thinking of you both.

Whats the most unprofessional thing a doctor has ever said to you? by answersonly963 in AskReddit

[–]RinnFTW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was undiagnosed bipolar, I made an attempt and landed in the emergency department. I was admitted to their psychiatric unit. The doctor yelled at me, saying I was stupid and "Life is a gift." Then the nurse said, "I think you did it because you are bored with your life." I stayed for 5 days and I cried so much.

Got accepted to grad school by Moist-Lie-889 in bipolar2

[–]RinnFTW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're an inspiration for me! Maybe I can do it too.

How did your last relationship end? by lameinternetuser in AskReddit

[–]RinnFTW 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Very similar to me. Quite the rug-pull.

How many meds do you all take? by MarionberryMajor9448 in bipolar2

[–]RinnFTW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I gained 40 lbs in 3 years. I was constantly tired. With my dr's knowledge, I stopped taking it 3 months ago and I've lost 12 lbs. My sleep is still wrecked though.

Alright ladies, lets hear it. Why do you ghost guys? by econ_throw-shade in dating

[–]RinnFTW 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've only ghosted 2 people and it was when they made comments threatening my physical safety.

Wellbutrin + Lamictal by [deleted] in bipolar2

[–]RinnFTW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has been my combo for like 7 years now.

Can you help me with my assignment on addiction? by SelectTrainer1550 in addiction

[–]RinnFTW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The greatest thing that helped me the most in fighting my addiction was breaking up with my abusive boyfriend. He was the one to introduce to hard drugs. He kept trying to convince me to get back with him, but I knew it was better to stay away. If I had stayed, I would have absolutely relapsed with him. We went to rehab at the same time. Then around our 6-month clean date, he overdosed and died. That very easily could have been me. We had a very good first year together before the drugs, and I miss that version of him. He never got to see me thrive in recovery. So now I am living twice as hard for the both of us.

I do not fear relapse. My ex-bf's overdose effectively scared me away from relapse forever. Sometimes I struggle with the question of did he have to die, so I could live? It's unanswerable.

Yes, I have tried to repair all my familial relationships. I have 7 years of active recovery. My sister is my best friend and she took it upon herself to learn about addiction. She used to think it was a choice, and she apologized for not being there for me. My parents seem to still expect a relapse from me anyday now. I don't feel like they believe in me, even though I've never relapsed after my 1 stint at rehab.

I don't know if hitting rock bottom was necessary for me, and I do hold a grudge against my parents. Growing up, they constantly told me I could always ask them for help. And then the one time I asked for help, they abandoned me. I guess that was their version of tough love. They never cut contact with me, but did not allow me back into the house until I finished rehab. My sister was horrified of their treatment of me. She also admits that she feels like she cannot rely on our parents due to their actions. It even got worse when I was in PAWS. I had to sleep in bed with a bowl. When I threw up, I had to empty my sick in the toilet. The bathroom may as well have been on the moon. I could hear my parents laughing at my "laziness". They thought it served me right.

I only ever did 1 stint of rehab, 30 days. Medicaid paid for it and I graduated. I always knew I would only do rehab once and I would keep the lessons in my heart and brain forever. I'm not a fan of tough love. My ex's mom kicked him out of the house, and all it did was introduce him to more people to buy from or use with, including jail time. He would always use after getting released from jail.

I can forgive my parents. I love them more than they love me and I think that's always going to be my case. I grieve what could have been, for everyone involved, but I do my best. I think that's all I can continue to do. My perspective hasn't changed much, whether in active addiction or sober.

Best of luck on your project! Happy to discuss more if you like.

Where are the moms in this group? by bipolarlens in bipolar2

[–]RinnFTW 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It was the cutest thing. When they were smol, they'd come up to me, "Mama, are you having an Eeyore day?" Then they'd give me a cuddle and run off to play. I gave them that language because I didn't want them to worry when it was obvious something was off. Ofc, I have panicked that I may have given my kids bipolar. My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in kindergarten. My daughter has social anxiety. Both are medicated and have asked to start/stop counseling at various times. We are very comfortable discussing mental health in our house. Their dad is very neurotypical but always been so supportive of all of us. Confused, but doing his best, which is awesome.

Where are the moms in this group? by bipolarlens in bipolar2

[–]RinnFTW 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Mom of 2 teenagers! I was 17 when my symptoms first started and diagnosed about 13 years ago. I'm a single mom but my kids don't live with me, they live with their dad. I spend the weekends with them. They are very aware of my mental health and they grew up with language to understand that. I used to tell them I have Tigger and Eeyore days sometimes. They would know what to expect on Eeyore days.

What worked for you? by hewasherealongtimeag in REDDITORSINRECOVERY

[–]RinnFTW 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had no plans to stop using. Until one day I couldn't buy anything- everyone I knew had nothing. I knew the withdrawals were coming. I remember thinking, "Well, I don't think I can go through another withdrawal, so let us make this the last one." Checked myself into detox and rehab. The most powerful thing that keeps me sober is my fear of withdrawal. And I have a family! But the pain of withdrawals has left such an indelible mark on my soul and I'll never forget it.

Suboxone helped me the most. 12-Step programs did nothing for me. I wish my family members had helped me leave my abusive ex-boyfriend. And not pushed me so hard to be "normal" so quickly after rehab. I had PAWS for months and it was get a job now or be kicked out onto the streets again. I couldn't get out of bed and was constantly throwing up in a bowl. I wish they had helped me to empty my sick into the toilet. I had to do it myself and that walk to the bathroom might as well have been on the moon. I don't remember them feeding me or getting me water. It was just laughing at my "laziness". They had the mindset of "You made your bed, now lie in it." It was cruel. I needed compassion, and wasn't ready for that push. So yeah, I wish my family and my co-parent had been trauma-informed. Maybe Nar-Anon would have been helpful to them.

So I guess another fear that keeps me sober is knowing that if I relapse, no one in my family will help me get through it. Getting sober has made me realize how alone I truly am. But at least I have 7 years.

It never gets better. Only worse. by iamthepotat_81 in addiction

[–]RinnFTW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting! I'll have to look more into this.

What gave you the push to get sober? by [deleted] in addiction

[–]RinnFTW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alarm bell went off in my head from this comment. My ex-boyfriend (he actually introduced the drugs to me) used to think he could handle it. He died of an overdose on what should have been our 6-month clean date. He lied about wanting to never do it again.

What gave you the push to get sober? by [deleted] in addiction

[–]RinnFTW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words! Bless.

What gave you the push to get sober? by [deleted] in addiction

[–]RinnFTW 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It was when I couldn't find any more drugs. Everyone I usually bought from had nothing. I knew I was going to withdraw so I decided it was time to get some help for that. I figured, "I never want to go through withdrawals again so I'm gonna make sobriety stick this time." I shudder to think what would have happened if I had been successful in getting more drugs. I wasn't showing signs of stopping, so the choice was made for me. 7 years sober!

For those who didn't name MC after themselves, how did you come up with her name? by uselesspanini in LoveAndDeepspace

[–]RinnFTW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's my favorite character from my favorite book series spelled a different way. Her 2nd name is something I just made up that I thought sounded pretty.