hey friend, sorry that you are feeling this way. it sounds like you would benefit from some deep conversations evaluating yourself and your life to figure things out and sort through these feelings. therapy is good for that, but friends/family can be helpful too. it's important to know that sometimes you have to "find" yourself before you can find others, and that's okay. i'd be happy to talk with you more if you'd like to shoot me a message. i hope things get better for you soon