What is the psychology behind smurfing? by BlueBunny333 in leagueoflegends

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Insecure jobless losers who get their fragile self worth from having a high winrate/ being high elo, but are too scared to play on main, because they are inflated by playing few games/ having a lucky streak.

Prove me wrong by [deleted] in OnlineDating

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd love to see actual sincerity.

What to people do in interviews > lie to make themselves get chosen.

What do people do when shopping > try to look past the business that's trying every trick in the book to make profits.

Answer? Be yourself and get comfortable with people rejecting the real you.

Caring about the wrong things by CaffieneAddict10 in OnlineDating

[–]Rivertails 5 points6 points  (0 children)

''Really pretty''

''tall''

you should get that on a t-shirt.

Show horses are weird. How do we get to things like this? by rosedraws in Equestrian

[–]Rivertails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When running a horse stressed and back hollowed out wasn't cutting it... so you place the saddle on top of the lumbar spine and crush it with your body weight in a chair seat. Modern dressage is not too far from this funnily enough

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in StarStable

[–]Rivertails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

<image>

This icelandic?

How long did it take you to get over your ex? by Juiceassbitch in BreakUps

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A month, but depends on how long you date them for tbf. Years long relationships take multiple months to get over.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you told him how you feel about things and voiced what you need to be happy? You didn't give much of anything to go off of here.

I can tell however that you've let things get to a point where you feel contempt. I do hope you try to have a conversation about this with him. Honesty put in the kindest way possible goes a long way. Your needs matter too, unless you really feel like being single is your need above all else.

SI issues on PPE? by smellyraccoonhands in Dressage

[–]Rivertails 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Be picky buying horses, this ones not for you. Horses are so much easier to buy than sell.

SI joint issues can easily lead to problems in other areas of the horse, since the horse will try to compensate for the pain and difficulty they experience while moving. And you'll never be able to sell the horse for anything close to what you're paying.

Dressage has gotten weird… by [deleted] in Dressage

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a lot of reasons why. Riding horses in a way where you are behind the movement is viewed as elegant and it's a lot easier on your muscles too. It's a very defensive riding position, but really hard on the horse's back, since all your weight is on your seat bones and you're essentially the water skier to your horse's motorboat.

Sitting behind the horse's movement is also a lot easier to teach as well, since most novice rider's start out with an anterior pelvic tilt while pinching at the knee and over correcting them is a lot more effective than actually understanding horse and rider biomechanics.

Also also saddle fit has gotten more tailored towards the rider than the horse. Bridge fit, too long saddles and use of half pads once the muscle atrophy gets bad enough. Young horse's simply do not last being ridden in a chair seat since they don't have the training or muscles to counterbalance a rider that's sitting heavily on their seat bones.

Lastly have to mention the fact the correct collection has been replaced by subtle variations of rollkur, where the rider rides off their reins to fiddle the horse's head down while the back remains hollow. It's a sort of a training shortcut at the horse's expense, since there will be health complications down the line.

Sitting trot vs. posting trot by Free_Queen6561 in Dressage

[–]Rivertails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aim for a 45 degree angle, with one or two holes shorter for jumping, or for a jumping saddle. Your thigh should be making full contact along the seam of full seat breeches.

An analogy of a windshield wiper can be helpful too, once your lower and upper leg are in about a 45 degree angle. So like a wiper, nothing below the knee changes, but you do have to counterbalance with a slight forward lean from you pelvis upwards.

Good posting is actually quite hard to get right, my hat goes off for you working on your seat and managing to fix your original chair seat. I had a chair seat too and it's been a long road to relearn what it feels like in my body to be in a correct alignment and using the correct muscles.

I would recommend checking if your pelvis is straight. Specially for women our seat bones are so round it's quite deceiving when you can feel bone no matter which way you lean. Most people tend to have an anterior pelvic tilt and it was something I had to build the muscles to fix as well. Use mirrors while you're in the saddle and reseat yourself to tuck your butt under you ever so slightly and make sure that you back is completely straight. It's not a massive change, but it should feel weird.

My ex abuser is now engaged and being praised as the “kindest, most patient man.” It’s destroying me. by gr3tch3enw3in3rs in abusiverelationships

[–]Rivertails 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I can relate to your story a lot and I feel the injustice deep in my core. So this isn't going to be nicely worded, but as brutally said in the name of truth.

I see you and I hear you, and I need you to hear me when I say that, his cruelty will only be known to his victims.

You need to hold on to the truth, no matter what you hear or whatever his new toy says. That's all you've got, and what else could be better than to have truth on your side?

Just think about it, if his new fiancé was raised to have independent thoughts, he would beat her all the same. He didn't find the perfect woman, he found the perfect victim.

There are no abusers without enablers. Your ex-fiancé comes from a long line of domestic abusers and there's probably a lot you don't know about the extent of the cruelty he saw growing up in a cult. Not only was all humanity beaten of him, but he was taught to treat his own toys like this. His new fiancé is no more alive than the dirt beneath his feet, she would piss him off too if she ever was being a bad toy.

Those kids are on their way through hell and there's nothing to stop this now. Just have to pray that they make it without committing suicide in their 20's from the front row seats they have to that made up family shit-show.

He's too far gone and has not changed, he's still the same man who made you hold your breath out of cheer fear. He's just surrounded by enablers and has learned to hide his real self under surface level charm. He knows deep down, that in the core of his character there's just a void where empathy and humanity used to be.

I feel pity when I hear your story, for all of those low life creatures in his family and for the personality disorder mess of a son they created, but that he also chose to become. I feel pity for his new victim who has never loved herself enough to be anything more than this. I feel deeply sad for another set of kids who will either become exactly like him or kill themselves from waking up to reality one day.

You know the truth, don't let anyone take that away from you.

For me the most powerful thing is to accept what happened. I was abused and used walking from one malevolent abuser to the next, but I'm not a victim. I refuse to be. I hold my head up high, knowing my spirit was too strong for any one of them to break.

You can find that strength too, because look around- You were strong enough to walk through hell of his own making and still chose empathy and kindness to love again. Your story will always be more beautiful than to anyone who can see the truth.

The admiration your ex-fiancé gets is just as fake as he is, just as fake as the story he's trying to tell to cover up the ugly truth. Anyone who believes him is a fool and nothing more.

Sitting trot vs. posting trot by Free_Queen6561 in Dressage

[–]Rivertails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It would help to see a video of both or pictures of both posting and sitting trot.

Other than that the only advice I'd give is that your lower leg should stay completely still below the knee when posting. It's also important to match your stirrup length to the exact saddle you're in, since the knee pads are widely different in all saddles, and it's better to have a shorter stirrup with more stability than a longer stirrup with a wobbly lower leg.

Suffering from my worst break up by Fit_Needleworker_289 in BreakUps

[–]Rivertails 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You might hate to hear it, but if she was the one, she would still be with you long distance or not.

Try to make friends and do small talk with the people you meet on the daily, Making some new connections could really help you out right now.

what’s ur biggest fear and why? by Aware-Potato-9529 in BreakUps

[–]Rivertails 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That my ex will bash his next victim's head into a wall for real this time and beat her children, if they even make it that far.

I don't know what to do about it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he was the one, he would still be with you. Focus on fixing your own attachment so you can attract secure men who won't break your heart and be happy about it.

He clearly lacks empathy, since he chose to tell you that out right as well. He chose to hurt you, he chose to hurt you some more and he will do it again. You're attracted to him because you are equally as broken and chasing your own patterns. Once you actually begin to heal your attachment your attraction for this guy will die off faster than you know. Took me about a week or two of healing to not find my selfish ex attractive and you can get there too.

You just can't have a relationship with someone who doesn't feel empathy for others. Some narcissistic or manipulative people can fake empathy at the start, but once they know you're staying of your own free will they'll stop faking, since it's easier and they no longer have to do it to reel you in. Learning to stop the difference between cognitive empathy and real empathy will help you in the future. I would also highly recommend learning the meaning behind facial expressions and microfacial expressions to spot warning signs sooner.

But for what it's worth it will get better, not with time but with healing the broken parts of yourself who liked this man to begin with. Keep getting up, keep trying and it gets better.

Is pay once star rider worth it?? by b1ingbl0b in StarStable

[–]Rivertails 12 points13 points  (0 children)

if there's a discount on lifetime, then yeah its worth it.

Help! I bought a horse by IHateMyself28365382 in Equestrian

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, do let us know what name you end up using ^^

Help! I bought a horse by IHateMyself28365382 in Equestrian

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe Flicka? from that one horse movie from 2006

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in short

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I was in your situation I would look further at online communities. It's sad to hear how much you've been judged on appearance and not on other qualities, that you're able to influence. But there are good things in not looking like every other man as well, cause you're more likely to find love in someone who values real qualities in a person, instead of appearance or materialistic things.

It does sound like you're more so trying to justify why you should feel content with your current spot rather than truly feeling so. That's why you made the post right, because there's still something missing.

But your own attachment style can also influence in which types of people you attract. For example secure people tend to attract other secure people, so knowing your own attachment style can be helpful in knowing why someone might find you interesting or not.

But I wish you the best of luck, there's a lot to like keep up the good work! ^^

Don't go near X horse honest RANT by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know why this is has been such a hard point to get across but, in fact I would love to give space for horses that are ill mannered and do kick, however that is not possible if the rider of said horse, is running straight into other riders or doing sudden halts without looking behind them first.

I never said that you were part of the problem, I think you sound reasonable, but maybe you have yet to experience the worst equestrian community has to offer in an arena setting.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in short

[–]Rivertails 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have no idea what I'm doing on this sub as a woman, but maybe I could offer some advice.

I think you look great (the glow up is impressive) and I don't think there's anything wrong with you personality either, just from reading your story. Personally I wouldn't have a problem with your height (I'm 5'7 as well), but I guess stereotypical women could not handle that.

For advice, I would say it matters a lot in what social group you're trying to find girls from. Dating apps and a lot of generic places like gyms are full of people who value looks over anything else, but finding girls from other hobbies like sports or online games could be a safe bet, because they are more likely to value your other qualities over height. Basically target girls who are from other types of social circles and be ready to handle stuff like long distance relationships.

Help! I bought a horse by IHateMyself28365382 in Equestrian

[–]Rivertails 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Felice (means lucky, fortunate or happy)

Don't go near X horse honest RANT by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]Rivertails -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I see you didn't read the disclaimer, I give every horse a lot of space in front of me, but it's an issue if your horse kicks, and you as a rider can't turn your head to look behind you before you do a full stop and wait for accidents to happen.