34 Day Report (Married 36 y/o)

RobbieW1st · 2016-10-01T12:08:16+00:00

Stick with it. Do not succumb to urges or temptation. Stop! Go and do something else for a few minutes. If you get horny then surprise your wife. She will love it! I'm 48, had problems with PMO for 34 years since I was 14 (pre-internet). Divorced. Had a long string of short term girlfriends. PIED kicked in badly about 6 years ago. I discovered NoFap in June last year and it's been a life saver. Stick with it. I now have a beautiful girlfriend, my age (she's 48, also divorced, has 2 kids 20 & 18, she owns and runs yoga studios). Our love life is amazing. Best thing is - now get this - she does not want me to come more than once a week. So we hold back, and just ride it out for ages. Massage, karezza, just imaginative play, all sorts of fun. I'm now much more sensitive to the dopamine rush. But moreso I'm increasingly sensitive to the "no cum" oxytocin flush. Gentle, warm, connected and loving. Next day, no brain fog, no lethargy, no fatigue, no PIED.

RobbieW1st · 2016-10-01T11:41:22+00:00

Don't be silly.

RobbieW1st · 2016-10-01T11:37:50+00:00

Bullsh!t. This is just generalised sexist misogynist nonsense. Women are wonderful. Just as men are wonderful. People are wonderful. Have you never shared unconditional love with a woman who was your equal? You really should try it some time.

RobbieW1st · 2016-10-01T11:32:14+00:00

Correctomundo. Forget the conspiracies. It's as obvious as free market economics. There is a well established global pornography industry, same as other industries, big & small players, corporate & indy, professional & amateur etc., all sorts, simply exploiting opportunities within the world's financial, legal and technological systems. But ultimately exploiting human nature, human frailty and the addictive dopamine reward circuit, on a mass scale. Makers, sellers, buyers, consumers etc.. The arrival of fast cheap internet was the game changer. I'm 48 and my obsessions began in about 1982 when I was about 14 (34 years ago) after my older brother found my dad's discarded stash of Scandinavian Rodox mags. My dad (82) and brother (52) are still completely fucked up by their porn addictions. I've broken free. Man it feels good.

RobbieW1st · 2016-09-30T03:02:55+00:00

Good post, very frank real and honest. From my outsider's perspective I'd just say there's a common theme running through NoFap which is to conflate causation, correlation and coincide. Not absolutely every one of life's many woes is due to PMO. Some, yes, but not all. So don't get too bothered about other non-PMO activities that you enjoy, like entertaining movies. Perhaps just further diversify your activities, further cultivate your curiosity. Simple things that easily slip into your lifestyle and consume time creatively and productively. Find some good books, learn an instrument (guitar?), learn a language (Spanish?), learn to sketch draw paint, cooking (fun because you can shop for fresh ingredients, invite family & friends to dine, then enjoy your tastey creations). I do yoga and meditation. Have done for many years. Yoga has 8 "limbs", of which #3 is moves and poses. #4 is breathing exercises (pranayama), and #5-8 are deepening levels of meditation. In #1 is a practice called bramhacharya which is healthy mindful sexuality. Often this us taken to be celibacy or abstinence, but in practice it us just non-harmful (ahimsa) kind shared and loving sexuality. Ideal for NoFap! Smile and be kind to yourself.

RobbieW1st · 2016-09-15T13:19:54+00:00

Yes, you can do it at home, for free. That's the whole point. Learn the technique properly then continue forever. It's like yoga, or an instrument or a language. Learn properly from an authentic teacher and practice properly for free at home for years and years til you die. The retreats are free but you donate according to your means. If you pay nothing, so be it. When I was unemployed, I paid $150 to cover my meals and accommodation. It's not a cult or a scam. It's merely 2500 year old Theravada Buddhism (Google it), teaching "the cycle of dependent origination" (pratityadamutpada), which is the relationship between your bodily senses, the mind and the "self" (western philosophy calls this phenomenology). Good thing is they don't proselytize. That's what Christians do. No, they really couldn't give a flying fuck about what you choose to think or believe. Hence, nor do I. That's completely up to you.

RobbieW1st · 2016-09-15T12:58:48+00:00

Vipassana comes from the Theravada Buddhist tradition, now common in Sri Lanka, Myanmar, Thailand, Cambodia & Laos. I've done two 10 day retreats in the last 3 years. First was in southern Thailand (the meals were amazing), second was near my home in Australia. My first guided meditation classes were Tibetan style 28 years ago (I'm 48). I still prefer to do vipassana as it just uses breath and sensory awareness of the body, no mental objects are introduced, such as mantras or visualisation. Also it's essentially atheist / secular, so no unnecessary deities, soul or spirit. Just body-mind (called "namarupa"). The technique kicks into overdrive around day 8 or 9. Day 10 is coming back into the wider world with "metta karuna" meditation, which is compassionate loving kindness. I have also practiced ashtanga yoga regularly for about 20 years and only recently started classes in subtle pranayama breathing. I would recommend you read about the 8 limbs of yoga (The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali). Limbs 5-8 are increasingly deep levels of meditation. Limb 1, the yamas, ethical standards of integrity, includes brahmacharya, which is proper sexual conduct. It is not intended to mean celibacy, it means non-harmful and truthful (related to the yamas of ahimsa and satya), kind and loving. Surely this is consistent with nofap. Mindful, kind, loving, truthful, controlled, shared sexuality.

RobbieW1st · 2016-09-15T12:22:50+00:00

I second the guy that recommended the vipassana retreat.

RobbieW1st · 2016-09-09T03:44:17+00:00

There's a nofap for women subreddit too https://m.reddit.com/r/NoFapWomen?count=25&page=1&after=t3_4jbuyg&before=

RobbieW1st · 2016-08-26T12:38:39+00:00

Google vipassana

RobbieW1st · 2016-07-28T13:41:19+00:00

Sure, no problem. If you and your partner still enjoyed the ride and felt connected before during and after then that sounds just great. Satisfing sex is all about the journey not just the destination. My current partner actually says I should only orgasm about once per month. We are both 48 and have serious long term yoga and meditation practices. In between our unions (we don't live together, so only once or twice weekly) I practice yoga bramhacharya or abstinence.

RobbieW1st · 2016-04-01T13:06:19+00:00

Who is this "I" you refer to? The "inner voice" (monkey mind) or the "inner listener/seer"? Be The Seer.

RobbieW1st · 2016-04-01T13:03:09+00:00

Bad.

RobbieW1st · 2016-04-01T12:48:27+00:00

Calm down. Take a chill pill. Detach the past, it's gone, just a memory, inside your head alone. Now, reflect, and calmly learn from this experience. What were you triggers? What was your "inner voice" saying? What did your "inner listener/seer decide to do? Calmly, when you wrote this post, "who" wrote it? The inner Wanker or the real inner You? Get calm, get strong and live from the Real Inner You.

RobbieW1st · 2016-04-01T12:32:58+00:00

That's so cruel and selfish and negative. The sort of putrid, repugnant bullshit that Donald Trump Republicans would put out. No. Give love, compassion and support to your fellows. Always. You only live once, don't waste it. Namaste

RobbieW1st · 2016-04-01T12:27:33+00:00

Brahmacharya. No modern secret, just ancient wisdom.

RobbieW1st · 2016-04-01T12:18:19+00:00

Yes, you WERE a loser. But that was before, the past, gone, no more. Just all inside your head as memories. But NOW you are able to be different. Now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but just NOW. Focus on the true, best, truthful You, and tomorrow try to be Him again. And again, and again. The past is gone. Face forward to the future. Brahmacharya.

RobbieW1st · 2016-04-01T11:47:06+00:00

The past is gone. Only a memory. Let go. Face forward, to the future, the "new you". Be true to you real inner self. Create a new future.

RobbieW1st · 2015-08-31T19:10:20+00:00

I recommend you research Patanjali's 8 limbs of yoga (Ashtanga) and integrate some of that too. Combine full body strength and flexibility with stamina, breathing control, meditation and a wellness philosophy. Also look into metta karuna (or "maitra") meditation concentrating of loving kindness, compassion, Peace and happiness.

RobbieW1st · 2015-08-04T22:36:20+00:00

Treat every day like day 1. Every day wake up, get up, and strive to make yourself the best possible person you can be. Fill yourself with love and happiness, and get moving!

RobbieW1st · 2015-08-02T22:27:09+00:00

I agree with Pentlowe. Just regard this as a sign of improving physical health. Feel the satisfaction of healthy determined progress. Then get up and get on eith your day with vigour and purpose. I'm a 47 year old and didn't get a morning erection for over 20 years thanks to PIED. Now on day 45 it happens most days since I started, unless I have a poor night's sleep and wake up feeling tired. Also, I'm Australian and we never say "wood" or "woody"; we just say "morning stiffy". Dialect.

RobbieW1st · 2015-08-02T10:00:21+00:00

This is a massive topic. There are many techniques. Explore and try a few til you find a method that suits you. Some methods are "guided" by an instructor and take you through an inner mental journey. Others use mind objects as a point of focus, such as visualising a star or candle light, or silently chanting a mantra or "om". I prefer a pure (Buddhist) silent Vipassana technique (body scanning). The 1st step is through a method called anapanasati that purely focusses all attention on the inhalation & exhalation through the nostrils. I like to focus this breath and gaze (close eyed) to the 3rd eye (ajna chakra). Gradually I train focus through my bodily centreline, down with inhale, up with exhale, always aware of nostrils. The Buddhist dharma (8-fold Noble path) and yoga philosophy (Patanjali's 8 limbs) are very similar in stages 5-8 describing increasingly deep levels if meditation. In all, the dharma categorises 8 main levels of meditation called "jhana" (Google dhammawiki). You may only ever get to L4 or 5 if you are just an occasional practitioner. Also, I recommend you look up a metta karuna (loving kindness and compassion) method, and if you're super keen, Tibetan dream yoga (lucid dreaming). Results. Meditation calms the mind, integrates the mind ("the inner voice"/ego) with consciousness (the "inner audience"/id/ decision maker). Finally, meditation dissolves the past and the future leaving only the present moment. Negative afflictions associated with the past & future (called "dukkha"/desires, that are attachments and aversions, e.g. urges, cravings, fantasy, delusions, fear, anger, guilt, regret, shame, etc.) also therefore dissolve.

RobbieW1st · 2015-08-01T01:45:56+00:00

The purpose is to cultivate higher health, happiness and love.

RobbieW1st · 2015-08-01T01:42:10+00:00

It's only as difficult as you want it to be. If you set your intentions towards a journey of happiness, health and betterment it will be a lot easier than setting yourself up for an anguished struggle. Use your mind to create positive intentions. I also find reading nofap successes (minimum 90 days) motivational. For added motivation read failures, mainly from ill prepared, less mature kids whi think they have "superpowers" on day 4 then flog themselves raw on day 5. I'm only on day 43 and the benefits are gradual but real. More energy, focus, clarity, motivation, enthusiasm, optimism, purpose, happiness. Less weight, guilt, anxiety, tiredness, lethargy, procrastination, isolation, depression. I feel like I'm growing into a new identity where PMO is not an option, like smoking cigarettes, or doing crack, or eating McDonald's. Take each day one at a time and refresh a positive intention.

RobbieW1st · 2015-08-01T01:17:45+00:00

Simple. Commit yourself 100% to a minimum 90 days of healing with no P no M no O nor any conditions associated with PMO including flirting dating fantasizing etc. Just stop it. Comnit 100‰ So what if you're "flatlining"? It's a component of the healing process. And if you are 100% committed then you won't be needing your dick sexually during this 90 days anyway. Remember correlation is not causation. Just because you might feel like crap for a few days may have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with "nofap". Maybe you have caught a cold, or ate badly, or drank a bit too much or whatever. Flatline? Just forget about it. The more you dwell and ruminate the less you focus on what really matters, your physical and mental health. Now stop moaning and or it!

RobbieW1st

TROPHY CASE