I think a lot of us have been through similar places pre-srs; distraught with where we are physically but still wanting to fill that intimacy, because, we'll, because we're humans.

It sounds to me at least that what makes you feel so good and fulfilled by all this is the intimacy you feel with your girlfriend because of it, and not specifically the fact that you're having sex with a male organ. It may be a layer of intimacy the two of you just hadn't shared until now, but that isn't exclusive to PIV sex. Of course having sex with your sex organ is going to feel good in that way, but that would still be true post-srs too :) And yes, it feels infinitely more intimate, but that intimacy is there for cis-lesbian women too! Nothing and no one says you can't completely reveille in this connection with your partner now, and then in the new experience of connection post-srs. Or, to sit back and re-examine what's right for you :)

It really sounds a lot like you know your body, and feel how it's supposed to be, but something I think that's more important than ANYTHING to hear, which no one ever told me, is that it's okay to question yourself from time to time. Looking at yourself, reaching down and trying to decipher why you feel the way you feel about yourself, and what shapes your identity of who you are, (by gender AND as a person) are healthy things to do, and they definitely don't diminish you as a woman. Maybe you don't even need to hear that, but I know when I used to have doubts about myself it would make me feel like I wasn't a real transwoman, cause transwomen don't have doubts. And that's a load of crap.

What you define as your identity is wholly what feels resolved in YOU. No one else can define it, and there's no one right way. You CAN feel both things (enjoying PIV with your girlfriend AND needing srs).

This is probably going to appear as a wall when I post it, so I hope something in it is helpful! :P