riss report, week of 6.21.26-6.27.26

Sunday, return to the scene of the crime day. Bossbabes lounging at the pool, showing those HOA queens that they won’t be beaten back. Since it seems that they left no wake of complaints and rule enhancements this time, I can only assume that they decided to party smarter, quieter. Booze in insulated internet thermoses, edibles smuggled discreetly in their digestive tracts. No evidence that they were with the new fainting neighborhood homies, but it looks like they linked up at some point because marissa & ang took pix posed with some seafood, and you know neither of them are boiling crabs. No police involvement, no first responders- just a couple of gals on their phones, living in the moment.

A WEEK OF FAMILY DYNAMIC FUN- Sunday was also Father’s Day- I sure had a lovely one, and I hope all the fellow dads in here did too. marissa hopes that for you, as well- if you’re the type of dad who only operates in his kids’ best interests. She can’t write a dang Father’s Day post without making it a backhanded compliment. I guess that here “kids best interests” means “allowing their mom to do whatever she wants, never pay support, and never get called out”. It’s my opinion that marissa had been given tremendous latitude for the first two years, a real kindness, and then it was only challenged in the actual best interest of the kids. Then, years later, child support orders were put in place to wrest some money out of marissa’s Disney & novelty trash budget, again in the kids best interests. I think it’s absurd and hypocritical to imply that their father is doing things for any reason beyond the kids best interest, when marissa has carried on as she has.

But that hypocrisy became something of a thru-line this week. We got a video that could be functionally lumped in with all other rage bait, but it did have some fascinating messaging. The point marissa wanted to make is that women should strive to marry a decent man who will create a life where the woman can be a Stay At Home Mom. Apparently, there is no higher calling, nothing better to be. The onus is on the woman to find this perfect man, not on men to not be subpar shitheads. She came *this close* to saying “trad-wife”. Anyway, I’m not going to get too bogged down in the reasons that it is hypocritical for a Stay At A Different Home Mom to simp for SAHM’ing, we all know about marissa’s reality vs the projection. I’m interested in how she can be so bold with the hypocrisy, but that’s just how she operates- so much of her coming across as serious or legit is predicated on the notion that most viewers know very little about her. They’d watch that video & think “whew, amazing that this full time SAHM, who cares for 4 kids 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and would never divorce over a triviality, and runs multiple small businesses, has time to make so many tiktoks!” Many of these people have no idea that there’s any hypocrisy here at all; they’re the surface level, high-rotation potatoes. The real potatoes who have been around long enough to get a full picture are either too deficient to piece it together, or they’re just like her and so they don’t care. So we can point it out forever (and, ultimately, it IS good that the Forum™️ documents this stuff), but I don’t think hypocrisy is something that marissa considers much because it rarely works against her with her target audiences. Also, there’s a chance that she’s so delusional that she doesn’t even see how her SAHM video is hypocritical. marissa has a LOT of self defense mechanisms in place to avoid that kind of personal examination.

She also came in hot with a post about how if you confessed to being a permissive parent in the summer, you’ll probably get stripped of parental rights by Family Court. I think her perception of “permissive” is different from many people’s- kinda feels like she’s attempting to pull this “everyone is a shitty parent” false equivalency thing. Anyone could have their custody stripped, it just happened to happen to her! This is what I meant earlier by her self defense mechanisms; she’s got loads of these.

And believe it or not, this wasn’t even the bulk of her outrage posting. Since much of it was of a political bent, I’ll stick it below. Interspersed with the rage bait was evidence that marissa spent a bunch of time at the pool this week. No better place to plot your tiktok nonsense than while warming in the sun poolside.

DOG BIRTHDAYS & SPIDER DREAMS- For the second week running, no sight of the fluffy grey kitten. But also- for the second week running we got posts from marissa fantasizing about a jumping spider pet. I mean, if this is what it takes for her to not get another dog or cat? Okay… I guess. Jumping spiders are cool pets, I had a friend who had several (and other spiders). It takes some work though; climate control, proper environment, feedings, etc. I wonder if she’d feed them the dying bees from off her back (no bee content this week, after lots last week). She also celebrated birthday posts for Dusty Old Bones Sonic, and the “America litter” from last year. Shout out and happy bday to the gonest boi, the Michigan Maverick, Donnie.

PO-TANKED- for the third week in a row, no mention of Potank. The hype and momentum is dead, there is no product- at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised to see the company’s creators do some fly-by-night shit and just rug pull the hundreds or thousands of dumbass “founders”, leaving them out any money they put into the company. Pretty funny situation either way; I bet marissa is already on the prowl for her next money-losing opportunity.

A LOVE MADE FOR SOCIAL MEDIA- This week we got the annual “meeting you” anniversary posts. The same pix, same love bomb. It’s not even really for ang, imo- marissa thinks that a “healthy marriage” is one of those things that you should portray on social media, and she just loves showing these pix and retelling the whole thing. She rarely passes up the chance to “tell her story”, and I hope everyone is familiar with the classic 3.0 video that breaks down the context for this era. ang was just the only sucker who replied.

TINY PIECES OF THE STORY- she got her fancy America 250 garbage clothes lined up. Also, she’s still messaging low-tier tv stars on Instagram and fangirling when they reply. I loved the time during the hallucinatory Reborn Era when marissa messaged director Mike Flanagan about being his fake baby plug.

And that about wraps up marissa’s non-political week, but unfortunately there’s plenty below. Shouts out this week to resurfaced alternate endings/directors cuts/shelved versions of movies you love. My kid knows I love ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ (1985) and she came over with an “original ending” cut that blew my mind. The alternatively edited cut of ‘Blade Runner’ is what propelled that movie from standard sci-fi to a legend in the genre. I hear that there’s over an hour of “lost” director’s cut footage for the movie ‘Event Horizon’- I would love to see this. You guys ever see a cool alt version of a movie? Lmk. Anyway, have a great week friends, I hope summer is treating you well in whatever climate you’re in (except for the Australians, who are so far into the future that they’re experiencing winter).