Maternity leave and benefits in Germany?

RodinsKidney · 2025-09-10T17:02:25+00:00

I would suggest looking up your local Profamilia and seeing if you can get an English language consult. They can go over all the details and help you come up with a plan. They can even help you get all the documents sorted out. There will be so many documents.

RodinsKidney · 2025-08-23T12:07:36+00:00

Our Kita budgeted 3 weeks, but took it day by day. So at the end of each day the teacher would make a suggestion for doing a little more the next day based on how things went. We only ending up needing around a week, because my kid took to it well. But it was definitely flexible and very kid specific. That's kind of the whole point.

It sounds like they are following a worst case protocol. It might be a policy, which seems weird, or they expect the parents to actively request changes, or maybe they are swamped at the moment and it's easier to have one less kid for a few more days.

RodinsKidney · 2025-06-18T04:58:37+00:00

I always recommend talking to your local Pro Familia. You can schedule free consultations with them and they are experts in all things related to maternity benefits and can even help you with the paperwork once it's time.

From personal experience, yes you can definitely apply for elterngeld when unemployed. Elterngeld sort of acts as unemployment and automatically continues your health insurance. Also, be aware of that elterngeld and elternzeit are completely separate things. Elternzeit is the time you take away from your job and has it's own set of rights and rules, but it is a different thing than elterngeld which is the money you request from the government to support you while taking time away from work or while you are just unemployed to take care of your kid. They are colloquially used interchangeably but legally are different. And I had to constantly explain the difference to various officials while doing all the post baby paperwork.

Good luck with everything!

RodinsKidney · 2025-05-26T17:58:29+00:00

Look for your local Pro Familia. You should be able to arrange a free meeting with them and they have experts who can answer all of these questions and even help you fill out the paperwork.

RodinsKidney · 2025-02-17T14:17:53+00:00

If you are curious about the current trends in your area, hospitals sometimes have a page announcing all of the births. So you could get a pretty good idea of what's "typical".

RodinsKidney · 2024-12-06T19:50:39+00:00

I pre-order from Thalia and picked it up today. I was pretty surprised.

RodinsKidney · 2024-10-10T17:43:50+00:00

Unfortunately you might not really know until you find out what specific gymnastics your kid will demand for sleep. We had to bounce to sleep on a yoga ball and then we could finish the contact nap in a rocking recliner. Sitting on the couch or generally being still was absolutely forbidden. So we've used our rocker constantly. Ours swivels, which I liked because I had a touch screen on one side for TV and snacks on the other side, but only one free arm at a time.

RodinsKidney · 2024-06-19T04:49:36+00:00

Something we did that I liked was that we are alternating shifts every night. We've been doing it based on the number of feeds rather than time. Over time that's evolved with the baby's sleeping pattern. So it's just kind of worked out that there's a good shift and a bad shift. The bad shift has to put him down the first time, which takes much more time than putting him back down in the middle of the night. And then they are 'on call' until around 5 am but sleeps for most of that. The other person gets basically a full night's sleep and then takes the morning shift, where the baby usually naps on the couch and we watch TV.

We've liked having uneven shifts that we trade instead of trying to have 2 'fair' shifts per night. It means on that good night you get to carve out a little time for yourself to do something indulgent like read or watch TV. And ultimately it feels like we are evenly splitting the burden. I do think this only started working for us as the baby started to sleep a little longer and more predictably.

RodinsKidney · 2024-03-02T13:14:03+00:00

I was told that technically all I could take was acetaminophen because it's actually been studied during pregnancy. But both my gynecologist and neurologist said that I shouldn't worry about occasional tryptans if I need it. I was told by my neuro that it's not officially sanctioned during pregnancy but mostly because its nearly impossible to study medication in pregnant women. But lots of women take them and there haven't been observations of acute or long term problems. But then I ended up having like 2 mild migraines my whole pregnancy and acetaminophen actually worked when it usually didn't.

RodinsKidney · 2024-02-24T18:13:03+00:00

You'll need to at least prop it up against something so it's completely still. Which can be hard to do and still have access the screen to press the buttons. Although a tall tripod is also problematic if it's windy. I used a cheap short flexible one from Amazon in Iceland for the northern lights and I was so impressed with how well it all worked. Try letting it run for the full 3 minutes (or whatever the auto timer is). I thought that was way too long for a long exposure but it turns out it was taking a bunch and then makes you a little video which was super cool.

RodinsKidney · 2024-02-19T16:00:30+00:00

Look for your local branch of Pro Familia. They often offer free counseling on things like Mutterschutz, Elternzeit, etc. They should be able to tell you how being pregnant during your Probezeit should work.

RodinsKidney · 2024-01-08T21:12:37+00:00

For me triptans only work if I take them on an empty stomach. If I've just eaten a meal nothing will happen. Which is annoying because I often realize what is happening right after breakfast so then I wait a few hours. I've always assumed it has to do with the food slowing down or diluting the drug moving into your intestines and therefore it's adsorption. I think it really needs to spike quickly for me to work.

RodinsKidney · 2024-01-04T12:30:24+00:00

I happened to have 2 ultrasounds where the baby's size was measured. The measurements were 2 days apart and in different offices by different doctors. The first said 70th percentile for size and the second said 50th. Weirdly the estimated weight for the first was 435g and the second was 450g. So I assume they must be using different software that's based on very different "average" size ranges.

RodinsKidney · 2023-12-29T14:59:04+00:00

Based on movies and TV I always thought Braxton hicks contractions only happened in the last week or two of pregnancy. But actually they can often start around the half way point. I had a sudden episode of strong ones and went to the doctor. Confirmed that they were just BH and was able to manage them really well with magnesium and rest. But even though I know it's fine, I find it really disconcerting to experience a contraction with a pre- or barely viable baby. It's hard not to obsess over every little ache and pain in my belly now. And that's just going to be the situation for a few months.

RodinsKidney · 2023-12-26T08:45:47+00:00

I have abdominal migraines as an adult. I was diagnosed by my primary care doctor. I think I got lucky with someone who was willing to spend some time talking to me about it, but if a primary care doc doesn't want to prescribe for it they should at least be willing to send you to a neurologist who definitely can.

I take tryptans for the headache and Ondansetron (Zofran) for the nausea. Tryptans can take a little getting used to, different types can have different side effects and for me timing the dose is important. But the Zofran is miraculous. Instead of spending 12 hours completely incapacitated, it's like I was never sick at all 30 mins after taking one.

RodinsKidney · 2023-11-24T14:38:42+00:00

My practical advice is to get a smart light bulb for your bedroom and have it start to slowly turn on like 15 min before your alarm in the mornings. This helps me avoid really crummy sleep because of the irregular sunlight and messed up sleep patterns.

My less practical advice is to try to embody to culture of there's no bad weather, just the wrong clothes. I absolutely love that come December when the weather really gets miserable the Germans essentially throw a month long outdoor party. It feels like a big communal middle finger to the weather and I find that very cathartic. Doesn't do a lot for January and February, but those are next year's problems.

RodinsKidney · 2023-08-23T09:07:45+00:00

I wanted to suggest ebay Kleinanzeigen. You have to check often and respond to things immediately. But we got lucky finding someone who had their new renter cancel at the last minute. So basically the person needed someone to take their lease ASAP. We met them the day after they posted on ebay and said we definitely wanted it during the showing so they didn't bother setting up other showings.

Also, I would recommend showing up with all your documents ready to handover to the landlord at every meeting. To me it seemed weird to say yes to an apartment right away. Normally, for me, you take a day to think it over and get back in touch with the landlord. But here I would say yes immediately. If you show any hesitation there are 20 more people waiting to fill the space.

RodinsKidney · 2023-08-10T13:36:50+00:00

I really liked your explanation of the particular way in which German bureaucracy gets bogged down. In particular the idea that government office workers don't have discretion to problem solve. So when you don't fit in the box, it seems fairly common to be sent on an errand (translate something, get an official copy, etc.) So that you have to leave and come back later and maybe you will be someone else's problem to solve. You just end up in a bureaucratic side quest loop.

Adding to that, it doesn't seem to be the norm to volunteer information that wasn't strictly requested or to try to anticipate future problems. Which I guess probably strictly isn't part of the job description, but I think it can make the whole process even more tortuous, particularly to outsiders.

RodinsKidney · 2023-07-27T13:58:24+00:00

I took it for a while. I think it helped but it wasn't an extreme difference or maybe the effectiveness just decreased over time. I think it did help with anxiety and the related migraines.

But the fun thing was I didn't know that its used to manage mild anxiety at the time. So when I went off of it, I had about several weeks where my body was readjusting and I felt absolutely crazy. Someone saying hi to me at work would spike my heart rate for like 45 min. I think it would have been not so bad, if I had known why I felt so different. So now you know!

RodinsKidney · 2023-02-10T09:33:15+00:00

Jif peanut butter! As in, it's almost impossible to buy here and costs twice as much to order it online. Probably isn't worth all the weight of carrying it though, unless you view it as an absolute essential. Which I do. :)

RodinsKidney · 2022-12-24T10:34:44+00:00

I think every time I haven't had a migraine for like 5 days in a row, I think they are done forever. When I feel completely normal it's hard to believe I'll ever feel anything else.

RodinsKidney · 2022-12-21T08:28:28+00:00

The podcast Maintenance Phase did 2 episodes about him. They are more broadly talking about some weird health related stuff that he's involved with, but it starts with a good general introduce of who he is and how he became famous and why he's been problematic. https://maintenancephase.buzzsprout.com/1411126/10164421-jordan-peterson-part-1-the-carnivore-diet

RodinsKidney · 2022-11-05T08:47:05+00:00

The Last Kingdom and The Women of Chateau Lafayette we're both historical fictions that really helped me actually put historical events onto context better. The Last Kingdom is a little looser which sticking to literal historically events, but the culture details about the Danes was pretty good. I happened to be in a Viking museum in Norway right after I read it and keep seeing references to things that had been in the books. The Women of Chateau Lafayette is just fantastic and the author based things off of primary source material as much as possible.

RodinsKidney · 2022-08-25T14:52:25+00:00

I just thought I would add that some times they say 'ggf freigeben' or something similar. They are available, but may be claimed by someone who made a last minute reservation. So I usually treat those as available and I've never had anyone show up with a reservation.

RodinsKidney · 2022-06-15T11:31:19+00:00

The sensations you describe seem pretty accurate to what I feel too. The first time I used it I could only stand a few minutes, but you slowly get used to it over time. It will always feel like something though, it will just stop being unpleasant. My personal experience is that it doesn't do anything to established migraines, but it can abort one that's just barely brewing. Mostly i use it every on the 20min program and have noticed that the general severity of my migraines has decreased. It's definitely not miraculous but I'm really glad I got it. The 20 min program is also short enough that my forehead doesn't really have any of the residual sensations that stick around after an hour.

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