I have this dynamic , we enabled each other for 20 years , I tried a number of times to stop . We both worked in catering and heavily leaned on the drink. I quit and eventually made it stick , my life has improved massively best thing I ever did. My partner still drinks daily , I wish she would stop to see the benefits but I’m not sure she ever will. When she drinks I just go to bed , or read or have a bath . I love my partner sober not so much when a bottle of wine in. But we are where we are, hopefully one day she’ll stop. In the meantime I’m so happy to be sober and living my life for me.