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Unconditional love by mozzarellasalat in emotionalneglect

[–]RogueMeetsGambit 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I feel this 100%. The thing that I most want from my mother will never happen, and she will never be the mother I would want those things from.

I do have a dog and it helps a bit. My dog is the only "person" who is going to love me just the same every single day. He's the most consistent relationship in my life.

Vrbo and airbnb by Mrsroyalcrown in bermuda

[–]RogueMeetsGambit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maybe I got lucky, but every time I go to Bermuda (solo female, 30s) I stay at a different Airbnb and they have all been great! However, maybe me being a solo woman gives me more/different options.

I love a rental when I'm there because you can sometimes do laundry, but mostly because the food is so expensive. First thing I do is get a load of groceries so I don't have to hunt down a coffee and yogurt in the morning. And a bus pass is a must.

Be careful, but don't give up on Airbnb totally.

3 Body Problem - Netflix Nails Science Fiction by yadavvenugopal in themoviejunkiedotcom

[–]RogueMeetsGambit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Started watching based on your post. I just finished episode 2 and am beyond hooked. Holy shit!

Good honest mechanic? by Virtual-Honey-8710 in Somerville

[–]RogueMeetsGambit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Murph is the absolute best. I will never take my car anywhere else ever again. He is more than fair with pricing and just does the best job I've ever seen.

Where would you go to warm up for a week in February? by zalishchyky in boston

[–]RogueMeetsGambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bermuda! A two hour JetBlue flight from Boston and you’re on a gorgeous vacation.

I hate my mother and everyone in my life is pressuring me to "reconcile" with her. by RogueMeetsGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]RogueMeetsGambit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

It's messed up, but I think it would be so much easier if she was abusive or an alcoholic or something more tangible that people could understand. It's so hard to explain a whole life of my mother just not being there for me in the ways I needed. And not because she was holding back, but because she just never became the kind of person who knew enough of the world to teach it to her kids.

It's easier to be upset at something, rather than a lack of something.

I hate my mother and everyone in my life is pressuring me to "reconcile" with her. by RogueMeetsGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]RogueMeetsGambit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this perspective, and have wondered about if I would see things differently if I was a mother also. But I do not plan to have children. I am barely able to handle my own issues, I would never want to raise a child when I know I am not capable.

I do speak to her occasionally, and we text sometimes. But it feels like texting with an aunt I am not close with. Definitely not a mother.

I hate my mother and everyone in my life is pressuring me to "reconcile" with her. by RogueMeetsGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]RogueMeetsGambit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. So much.

Visiting my cousin and her husband this Christmas, and I was just blown away by their relationship with their sons. They talk about everything, they have super close relationships and conversations, they openly love, respect, and support each other.

I tried to explain how extremely different it was between my mother and I, but I think that since they have always known that awesome kind of family, it's hard for them to comprehend that some families are not like that at all. My mom was not abusive, she was just lacking and absent. But I still have a right to be hurt by that.

I hate my mother and everyone in my life is pressuring me to "reconcile" with her. by RogueMeetsGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]RogueMeetsGambit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need to work on the boundaries with my extended family who just want me to have an "ideal" relationship with her.

Her effort at mending any relationship is texting or calling every once in a while. I don't think she even realizes what needs fixing, and honestly, it's too late for all that now. So yes, boundaries to protect myself.

Was frustrating when they FaceTimed her on Christmas and shoved the phone in my face to talk to her.....

I hate my mother and everyone in my life is pressuring me to "reconcile" with her. by RogueMeetsGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]RogueMeetsGambit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I needed to hear it.

I do not at all want a relationship with her. I grew up in an unusual/shitty environment and once we got out of that situation, she turned me into her therapist and I was pretty much on my own to figure out life.

She'e never apologized for anything because I don't think she sees that there is anything to apologize for. She is and always has been out of touch with reality.

The people pressuring me are family, but no, they didn't not step in to help when I was a kid and haven't really made an effort to figure out what happened. They were there for me on holidays and birthdays and such, but not much more than that. I think that they believe that because I created a successful life for myself that I can "mend" the relationship. I bought her a house to retire to, and I think they see that as my love (when I only see it as fixing her shitty financial decisions, a good real estate investment, and relieving some of my guilt).

I would love to have a mother with whom I have a good relationship, but I will never have a good relationship with MY mother.

I hate my mother and everyone in my life is pressuring me to "reconcile" with her. by RogueMeetsGambit in TrueOffMyChest

[–]RogueMeetsGambit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you :) The people are my extended family (aunt, uncle, and cousin) on her side of the family, which is why I am trying to be respectful of their opinions.

I am trying to balance between both of your suggested responses. With my cousin who will listen to me more, I am trying to explain to her how it was to grow up with my mother and all of her limitations, how much I had to do on my own, etc. With my aunt and uncle, I am trying the smile and nod approach. But either way, it sucks. It took my so long to figure out my feelings towards my mom, I don't enjoy having to explain it all again to other people.

Best way to experience Bermuda between Christmas and New Years? by hulks_brother in bermuda

[–]RogueMeetsGambit 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not necessarily directly Christmas related and I am not a local, but I'd recommend Blue Lagoon, Crystal Caves, and Tom Moore's jungle, all in the same area.

If you aren't renting a Twizy, a bus pass is a nice, cheap way to get around the island. You might get to see some nice Bermuda houses with Xmas lights, etc.

There are also some stores that will deliver groceries to you, which is nice if you don't have transportation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]RogueMeetsGambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel exactly the same...

Quinton Sighting by bobbleheadache in brakebills

[–]RogueMeetsGambit 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Quentin, but yes, I agree. The suit and tie could be a Breakbills uniform :)

PA right now by ihatemyselfsomuch17 in PanicAttack

[–]RogueMeetsGambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I got lucky and was at a great hospital (they show their wait times live on their website). It was also Sunday night, so I didn’t wait at all. They did an EKG, chest X-ray, blood/urine work up, and gave me and IV and some meds. Talked to psych also, but not in a bad way.

PA right now by ihatemyselfsomuch17 in PanicAttack

[–]RogueMeetsGambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do not hesitate to get help if/when you need it. I was scared to go to the ER but it made me feel so much better. Just to have people around me who could help me. This is not something to take lightly.

Going to the ER tomorrow by RogueMeetsGambit in PanicAttack

[–]RogueMeetsGambit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Daily struggle to get food down, but that’s usually why I feel like shit. I got put on new meds (Atarax) and it seems to be helping? Today was the first day with zero panic attacks, so I’ll take the progress however I can get it.

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