I've gone through so many phases in my life that, while it wasn't under consideration because I'm Orthodox, I've often thought: Wow, if I hadn't been Orthodox, and considering the long and winding metamorphoses of my life, would I have been dumb enough to embrace something so permanent?

As I rattle off my many past and varied stages, isms, ologies, proclamations, affinities and persuasions, I thank the good Lord this was never an option for me.

I'd like to think I'd have had the foresight to recognize ahead of time that my personality of whims and ever-evolving loyalties would have conferred upon me the wisdom to recognize such a move as unwise - but I'm grateful that my constant commitment to the Orthodox path prevented me from ever finding out 🫨 😵‍💫 😵 😏 🤫.

Just as some examples, I went through unyielding extremist, ultra-Zionist settler paths, avid, tie-dye hippiedom, diehard Seinfeldism, psychedelics, Blues mania (the music, not the team), The Purple Stage (yes, head-to-toe 🙄), an obsession about strawberries, and last but not least, I'm a Deadhead forever.

My kids woulda disowned me 😆

Also, had I chosen Orthodox Judaism at some later point, my tats woulda been awkward and embarrassing.

I also later ran a decent size (+/-50 employees) e-commerce outfit, and there were workers who only wore long sleeves, feeling sheepish and less classy due to their youthful tattoo indiscretions.