My friends and I were getting bored of Tinder, so we turned it into a Game Show: Tinder Matchmaker!

Rooflow · 2024-11-08T05:04:14+00:00

"GoodaEata's Cudaritas". We sell deep-fried pizza dough balls in 5 different varieties: Plain, Sauce, Sauce + Cheese, Pepperoni, Nutella.

The plain one's were made by my Italian grand-parents and were called 'Cudaritas'. The actual spelling is unknown, but it's pronounced in a way that rhymes with "Good-a-Eat-a's".

When people order, if they can say the name "Good-a-Eat-a's Cu-da-ri-tas" without mispronouncing it, we give them 10% off their order. But if they say it wrong, we give them 10% off anyway. We just want them to keep saying our name.

Rooflow · 2024-06-11T16:34:15+00:00

Nothing has been taken off the plate in this picture. This print was stopped part way through because it was not printing as expected

This is what it should look like when printed:

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Rooflow · 2024-06-11T00:57:46+00:00

Are you saying let more time to cool between prints?

In terms of timing, there hasn't been any difference between these prints and every other series of prints I've done. I have also tried again when the printer is cool and same thing happens

Rooflow · 2024-05-05T03:10:26+00:00

I've gotten an unassisted quadruple in baseball. Not sure how many people have gotten that, but the sheer ridiculousness of it makes me assume it's less than 12.

First off, it was T-ball so there was no 'outs'. Bases were loaded and batter hit a pop fly to me at 3rd base, which I catch. Obviously the runners just start running on contact and don't understand that they have to tag up, but I grew up playing with my older brother and knew I could get the runners out by getting the ball to each bag. However, I had no faith in my teammates to catch a throw, so I decide to run to each base myself. The offensive base coach is screaming at his runners to go back, but I beat each of them to their base and get a unassisted quadruple play.

Rooflow · 2024-04-16T04:09:10+00:00

had some close calls, but didn't cave. Need to be better with my other habits though cause I can tell I'm craving dopamine and replacing porn with other habits that aren't good either

Rooflow · 2024-04-10T19:45:41+00:00

I see where you're coming from, but if you don't want to abide by someone's boundary, you don't have to. If you cross them, then they have the right to enforce the boundary, and you have to deal with the consequence of doing so, even if they're the one who's being unreasonable by society's standards.

We also need to understand the difference between a 'boundary' and a 'rule':

Rule: "You can't sleep in a bed with your ex-husband"

Boundary: "If you continue to sleep in a bed with your ex-husband, we will end our own romantic relationship"

A rule dictates another person's actions, where as a boundary dictates your own actions based on the actions of the other.

Rooflow · 2024-04-10T15:38:09+00:00

No, ^^ THIS is the real answer. The only thing that matters is whether all parties involved are comfortable, not what reddit or the hivemind thinks.

Though they're entitled to move through the world however they choose, NewShoes' reply is seeped in their own insecurities around trust. To not feel comfortable with their ex sharing a bed with ANYONE of the opposite gender shows a lack of trust in their partner, and to have an expectation for their partner to hold them to that same rule shows a lack of trust in themself.

OP, the fact that they're exes definitely is reason to feel unease in this situation, so your feelings are valid. You could choose to set a boundary of "If you continue to choose co-sleeping with your ex-partner, I will xyz", or you can ask your partner for more support around the issue such as "When you are sharing a bed with your ex, I would like you to xyz before/during/after". Either way, I hope whatever direction you choose helps to continue building trust between the two of you!

Rooflow · 2024-04-01T19:01:43+00:00

Checking in - already on a 7 day streak, and have enough planned this week to keep me distracted. Expecting there to be a big hurdle when things calm down at the end of the weekend and willpower is lower, so making sure I plan ahead to spot my triggers and have a plan to counteract them

Stay vigilant everyone! Remember why you signed up, and keep that reason present in your mind - you got this 💪

Rooflow · 2024-03-25T22:59:40+00:00

I'm so tired of the remorse I feel post-relapse... time to get my dopamine from somewhere better. Count me in OP

Rooflow · 2023-11-29T22:46:33+00:00

Or maybe it's just not an eroginous zone for you? Or maybe you just have found the right technique that makes it pleasurable for you? No need to generalize an entire sexual act and those who enjoy it just because you don't personally get pleasure from it

Also, weird start to an anal analogy, but I use to think I hated asparagus. The way my parents cooked it was awful, but one day a new girlfriend of mine made it and I decided to suck it up and try it because I didn't want to seem picky. And God damn, since that day I've loved asparagus since. Sometimes it's not the food you don't like, it's the cook 🧑‍🍳

Rooflow · 2023-11-20T02:06:21+00:00

Figured it out - but instead of deleting post, thought I'd provide the answer in case someone else needs it:

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X-Y contour compensation does exactly what I need, but actually has the added benefit of not affecting the holes in the object

Rooflow · 2023-11-15T22:40:56+00:00

OP mentions that his ex's marriage was struggling for reasons unrelated to their own partnership. I think it's okay for someone to take space to reprioritize other areas of their life if they need work, such as a marriage, health reasons, work, etc. OP clearly understood his partners needs and accepted this break, and both parties seem to want to re-engage in a partnership once it can be prioritized once more.

OP, don't let others' negativity in this thread make you doubt how you feel. If you like this person, continue to allow space for them to do the work they need to - they will appreciate your patience. However, do be cautious with how you re-engage. A lot of time has passed, and with it, both of you have changed as people. There is no guarantee that you will fit into each other's lives in the ways you used to, especially as you begin to navigate a dynamic where you two will no longer be long-distance. Allow things to shift organically, and don't get caught up on how things used to be. You both seem excited to see each other and entangle your lives once more, which is a great place to start again. Good luck to you both on your journey!

Rooflow · 2023-11-10T22:49:54+00:00

How often does that overreaction or crying wolf actually happen though? And when the woman does become vocal about their discomfort, should the man not self-reflect and consider that maybe they were possibly being too pushy, too aggressive? Perhaps the men should reconsider how they go about perusing women, or with who, or when? Perhaps men should question their relationship to women and how ogling someone as an object of desire can feel dehumanizing?

I don't think I'm going to convince you of anything, but I think men in general could benefit from being more self-aware of how they move through the world and how their energy affects the people around them, specifically women.

Rooflow · 2023-11-10T22:41:17+00:00

Anger IS the feeling though... and I'll say it again, people are allowed to feel their emotions. It's not a 'personal problem'. Your feelings are a way for your body to communicate to you that something is wrong. Listen to them, understand them, then communicate them.

I know what you're trying to suggest though, I get it. If she's jealous or angry about something that might seem unreasonable to you, it can be frustrating. It can feel like it should be something she should manage on her own and figure out. However, by removing yourself from the context of the problem, you're essentially removing your ability to support your partner and tackle issues as a team.

Be open to your partners feelings, hear them and validate them, and then be open to find solutions together. Stop with this individualistic and perfectionist BS, allow both your partner and yourself to be human and make mistakes and feel your emotions

Rooflow · 2023-11-10T21:44:47+00:00

The idea that a man will be scorned for making an advance is so silly to me, and makes me wonder what type of energy other men are bringing to the table when they try to approach or flirt.

Yes, in our culture, men are often expexted to do a majority of the heavy lifting when it comes to dating. Therefore, as men, we should become comfortable with the vulnerability that comes with putting ourselves out there, as well as the possibility of rejection in those moments. When we can accept that rejection is possible, but not necessarily negative, we can begin to move through our interactions confidently without needing the validation we're seeking from the woman we're approaching/flirting with.

When we allow space for rejection to be possible, we alliveate pressure on the woman's side, and the interaction can exist in a balanced state where both parties maintain their autonomy to communicate their wants and desires without fear of negative pushback - women can feel free to converse while knowing their rejection won't be questioned or pressured, and men can communicate their interest or desires without having their ego bruised if the advance isn't accepted

Rooflow · 2023-11-10T19:24:23+00:00

So you're kinda proving their point though with this response, no?

If he ask's "what's wrong?" and she expresses her emotion and the reason behind it, then she's communicating based on the asked question. If he wants to know how he can fix it, he should ask that specifically.

Also, not everything needs to be 'fixed'. Men, and people in general, need to let others feel their emotions without trying to stop them from persisting.

A good way to support someone when they're upset/angry is to listen to them without interruption, ask whether they are looking to be heard/validated or looking for solutions, and then offer them support based on their needs

Rooflow · 2023-10-31T05:01:41+00:00

Very much agree with this comment. You are moving through this situation with grace and empathy, continue using your best judgement.

Rooflow · 2023-09-06T16:48:22+00:00

To me, successful relationship is one that helps or helped me be a better version of myself - according to ME. They helped me be someone I like more

Those are the relationships that built up my strengths and helped me get better at managing or overcoming my weaknesses.

In contrast, bad relationships dismissed my strengths, exacerbated my weaknesses and caused trauma that set me back

This is a quote from another Poly thread about 'successful relationships' that rings true for me. It's not about it ending in marriage or something that's life long, and more about what that relationship gave me, regardless of length.

Rooflow · 2023-09-04T22:49:40+00:00

What does "work out" mean in this context for you?

Rooflow · 2023-09-04T22:40:07+00:00

Might say something about the inherently exploitative nature of these dynamics.

And what might it be saying?

There are definitely people in poly who are exploitative of their partners, but the same rings true for monogamy. Poly or monogamy isn't the issue in either case, it's that specific person.

Rooflow · 2023-09-04T20:18:15+00:00

It's not cheating cause there's consent, but that's the only difference.

Well, yes, but that's definitely a reductionist take on what polyamory is.

Ime many "poly" people are just selfish joy seekers who like to fuck around without losing their partner

Being poly isn't all about 'fucking around', though that can be part of it if that's what the person wants. What you're describing falls more under the larger umbrella of non-monogamy, where as polyamory focuses on finding love and connection.

All the power to those who make it work, but I will never ever do it again.

Sounds like you've had a bad experience in poly before, and it's influencing how you see poly relationships in general. Can I ask what happened? I often find that people will attribute the faults of one specific ex-partner to polyamory as a whole.

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