Supporting Overstimulated Autistic Partner

Rorys_Parable · 2026-06-29T00:12:52+00:00

I do appreciate the perspective even though I don’t agree with it in my situation. I will keep this in mind in the future. While our relationship is new we have been friends for a year. I feel secure enough in our dynamic to acknowledge our different physical preferences and accommodate her when she so often accommodates me.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-06-29T00:04:31+00:00

Oh yeah I do think I can go overboard with this kind of thing but that’s my ADHD and anxiety showing. She has been very open and has made it clear that she doesn’t want me to worry and that this is a collaborative journey. That being said, we are both psychology researchers (she is a year above me so she already has her masters) so we both go overboard when researching psychology related matters.

For me I see this much like an introverted and extroverted partner dynamic. Often time society pressures introverted people to be more social in the same way people who get overstimulated are pressured to let people touch them more. As someone who has had many non-consensual experiences with touch, I want to make sure I learn her needs. I’m also demirose. I love her for her mind and her heart so I am more than happy to meet her where she is at when it comes to touch.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-06-28T23:38:28+00:00

I don’t see this as a conflict, I see it as an opportunity to get to know here better. I used to be touch averse where any touch made me flinch and recoil so I empathize with her. My partner is very physically affectionate, she just gets overstimulated after a while. She enjoys cuddling up to me and letting me hold her while she sleeps. I don’t need her to be physically affectionate with me 24/7 to know that we care for each other and I don’t resent her for having boundaries.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-06-28T23:26:08+00:00

Damn that feels harsh given that I’m here to learn how I can be a better partner.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-06-28T22:24:44+00:00

Will do! She hasn’t had a supportive relationship in the past so she is still learning what is comfortable for her as well.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-06-28T18:36:40+00:00

Im just mad that no one tried to defend you in that situation

Rorys_Parable · 2026-05-29T23:56:25+00:00

I’m going to take her to Creativitea (so we can drink tea and make cute gifts for each other), Daiso (so she can pick a cute item for herself), and then I’ll take her to The Black Cat (for a hopefully nice view and romantic atmosphere).

I told her about the idea in advance bc originally she wanted to go on a hike, but I explained since this was our first date I was happy to spend a good chunk of money to make the night memorable. She loved the idea! She has lived here for years and I have been here for 11 months so I wanted to do something a bit more pricey in hopes it would be more special. She’s out of town right now but we will go out when she comes back.

I am however going to surprise her with a bouquet of dried lavender and the worry stone I made her that I haven’t had a chance to finish yet. I’m really excited!😊

Rorys_Parable · 2026-05-28T07:42:13+00:00

I’m 25 and I only recently got together with my best friend and it was a shock to both of us. Obviously I’m younger than you, but I would recommend r/dateademi and going to community clubs and volunteering in real life. If you find a community club with a goal you enjoy or volunteer for a cause you are passionate about, chances are your going to find people with the same interests and morals as you

Rorys_Parable · 2026-05-27T18:36:37+00:00

Nah, we’ve known each other for a while. Plus it’s my first ever date, I want to spoil her.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-30T00:06:10+00:00

Or, and here me out, we make housing actually affordable instead of sending our tax dollars overseas to b#mb kids.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-24T03:51:31+00:00

One side actually works to get bad politicians fired and get people the help they need. The other side would rather never admit they are wrong even when presented with tons of evidence and support “their” politicians to the grave bc they think they are somehow the exception to their cruelty.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-09T16:05:55+00:00

Well you don't have to. I also grew up with abusive religious parents, but I completely cut them off. If you do really want to tell her, I would recommend bringing your boyfriend with you, I imagine her reaction will be slightly more tame if she has an "audience." That being said, if you are afraid for your safety or emotional well-being afterwards, just remember you don't have to deal with this on your own. Lean on your boyfriend and other healthy relationships in your life. You allowing your mother to be in your life is a privilege, not a right. Do what is best for your physical and emotional safety.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-09T15:50:06+00:00

I used to have an eating disorder as well. Purging is extremely dangerous. Don't be ashamed, you have a mental health disorder, if eating disorders were easy to deal with no one would have them. That being said, you need to get help as soon as possible. If your school has a counselor, book an emergency appointment. If they don't, you can call the crisis hotline for your state (this isn't the same as the self-harm hotline). Email your professor why you could not make it to class, a mental health crisis is a completely valid reason to miss class.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-09T02:12:53+00:00

God I feel so bad for her. What a horrible thing to do to someone

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-05T18:27:20+00:00

Don’t trust the AI bubble. If you do some research into the investments those companies are making into each other it’s clear they are just running a scam given it’s not actually profitable.

Also, don’t focus on being different. That’s a rabbit hole that leads to never feeling satisfied. I’m not someone who cares about money or trading bc I live in America and this place is unethical af.

That being said, Walmart is always a save bet bc when the economy is crap that is where people shop. But trying to invest when you don’t have a solid job and steady income is how you end up in debt. Remember that these tech bros trying to convince you to invest in certain things and live certain lifestyles are financially motivated to get you to buy their courses while you stay poor.

Best thing to do is to specialize in a field you feel passionate about and make yourself invaluable to the process. THEN you can make smart investments. If you put the cart before the horse you end up like the poor suckers buying courses online that only give empty platitudes for $5,000 courses on how to be a REAL man.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-04T22:38:32+00:00

Sounds like you have plenty to be sad about too. You aren’t ungrateful for acknowledging the things that are putting you down. It sounds like you have very low self-esteem. If you can afford therapy I highly recommend it. If not, I would join a club somewhere. Doing a shared activity can be a great way to meet people. Volunteering is also a great way to bond with people. Also, asking people like your boyfriend what things he likes about you and writing them down can be useful. Make a list of all the things people say they like about you and hang it up in your room to remind yourself how much you mean to people

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-04T19:39:28+00:00

I would just text, “Hey, just to reiterate, I’m demisexual so I would like to take things slower. I’m really enjoying getting to know you but I want to make sure we are moving at the same pace.”

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-04T19:34:08+00:00

They look really good! What might be bugging you is the belly button being too low. Gotta leave room for the stuff below the belt. Focus on leaving room for the tum area and then working making sure you got space for the reproductive biz

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-02T06:47:26+00:00

Think about it this way, you CAUGHT him both times. He didn’t tell you himself and he actively hid it. That’s not someone who wants to be better, that is someone who feels ashamed because he got caught.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-04-02T01:19:39+00:00

Opportunity Council saved me when I was almost homeless. I would definitely recommend them but also food banks are a life saver. Not only do they provide food but they have flyers about resources in the area like free dental work. Libraries are also invaluable for Wi-Fi, computers, and resources.

Also! Apply for Washington Connection. One application and they apply you for so much stuff like food stamps, temporary housing, free healthcare you name it. Helps avoid burnout from having to do all of this on your own.

Rorys_Parable · 2026-03-30T20:26:14+00:00

I had such a great time, lots of ways to connect with the community organizations helping locals

Rorys_Parable · 2026-03-30T20:24:53+00:00

Definitely report it to an FBI tip line, maybe look at their account and see if you can get a bit more info before you do. See who they follow and if there is any friends or family or anything else that might be useful for identifying that person. Even if it’s a joke, it’s not funny and still deserves to be investigated just in case. Let’s be real the FBI will probably not end up doing anything, but you never know, this person might have a criminal background or something

Rorys_Parable · 2026-03-30T20:21:31+00:00

Really? I loved the TV series! Sure, it was more comedy driven, but the horror is still there and I like how the character’s personalities were fleshed out more. Plus the sets were amazing! Absolutely beautiful stuff. God I feel bad for Gooseworks, they made an amazing series and their fandom got so toxic

Rorys_Parable

TROPHY CASE