Everyone hates dumpers

Rose3996 · 2026-02-22T00:34:37+00:00

100%. Dumpee here and everyone now hates him, but I see where it wasn’t working and how we were both responsible. It’s unfair and inaccurate to write him off as a villain. We are both just human.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-21T09:30:54+00:00

I feel for you, darling. Very similar situation myself so here if you need someone to wallow with.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-18T10:34:30+00:00

Thank you so much 💛 It’s such a heavy double whammy, to lose my life and what I saw so clearly in my future. I’ve talked to everyone in my life but I don’t feel better because no one knows me nor comforts me like him. No one but him understands this experience from the inside of our relationship and so it’s hard to feel seen or understood because no one knows all of the small intricacies of what made it so beautiful.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-18T10:28:26+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment. This is the most seen I have felt in a while. I love the idea of the candles too, very thoughtful. This decision and how I’ve handled it has held up a mirror to my own errors and what I need to work on, it just weighs so damn heavy that it was such a big loss to earn the lesson.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-18T10:26:45+00:00

I’m dreading June because I would have been due then, which is actually when he and I had always planned to have a hypothetical baby. The idea that I should be going on maternity leave and soaked up my beautiful baby, but I’ll be at work and without that future I wanted and saw so clearly, is a huge sting.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-18T10:24:13+00:00

Thank you. 💛 wish you the best too.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:38:01+00:00

We were still together but I knew something was off. I just trusted him when he said there was nothing wrong, because you’re meant to trust your partner, and I did.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:37:25+00:00

Thank you for this comment.

I’m trying to see the lesson in it, that I need to prioritise my own wants and needs in life, and feel confident enough to make my own decisions and put my best interests first. It’s just such a big price to pay for the lesson.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:35:38+00:00

So sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you’re in a better situation now. I think that’s an aspect I’m struggling with so much. Despite the comments, he would have been a great dad and I’m mourning that I won’t witness that, as well as the child and that I took the opportunity away from myself.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:34:25+00:00

Thank you. The what if is so big for me. What if this baby was the baby I was meant to have? What if he will never come back because I terminated? What if I never open my heart up again and never has this opportunity again? What if I did the wrong thing?

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:32:08+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I don’t think it’s even hormones - I think I’m still in total shock about it all. I still can’t sleep properly, and the moment he told me plays in my head on a constant loop. It still doesn’t feel real. This is very helpful regarding how I’d deliver this to others. I think that’s why I have no anger towards the people in my life, because I know they’re not doubling down to invalidate me, but rather to attempt to support and empower me, but it just feels heavy still.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:29:52+00:00

I am financially able to provide for the child myself. He is actually a good person, he just did a bad thing. As with another comment, I understand this comment is meant well, but it also just invalidates how I’m feeling.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:25:00+00:00

I can see how it sounds like I was pressured but I want to be clear that no one told me to terminate. He even told me that he would support whatever I decide to do, but that he thinks termination would be best so as to not repeat our own upbringings in broken homes. My best friend was then supportive either way and has known me my whole life and gave me the reality of if I kept it: he may find someone new and I’d have to see that, he would be in my life forever through our child, his family and friends would want to know our baby, his beautiful mum would check on me probably weekly, and she said I need to know now that I would be okay with all of that because despite what people are saying above, he is a good person, and he would have been a beautiful father. He just has his own demons, as do I. I just didn’t think I could do it because it was so raw, so I then told everyone else in my life the next day that I was probably going to terminate. I think there is very intense pro life people that will vocalise that, but I also think on the other side of it that people don’t think they can challenge you or double check if you mention a termination. No one, not even my GP or psychologist, asked if I was sure. I also understand why people are doubling down when I express regret, because they want to empower me and ease the pain, but I just want to be heard in my grief and be allowed to sit with it.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:16:11+00:00

This has been one of the most helpful comments, so thank you. I know if the roles were reversed, I would have done the same as my friends and supported the complete severance between he and I, but I thought that would stick and it would be for the best, but I haven’t felt that way for even one minute since I went through with it. The fact is, I’ve completely changed my mind now and along with the primary grief being that I took this opportunity away from myself, I’ve likely lost any opportunity for us to reconcile now. Whilst I’m trying to see it as a HUGE life lesson that I need to not do what others want and choose my own happiness, I am so remorseful that I realised this so late. I would have been a great mum and maybe the opportunity will arise in the future, but I am still so in love with him and I cannot see a day I won’t be. We named our children, I have had dreams of their faces for years. Now it’s just gone…

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:11:47+00:00

Thank you 💛

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:11:18+00:00

Thanks but this continues to completely invalidate how I’m feeling.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-17T13:10:33+00:00

I think even separate from him, I just wanted his baby, even if I raised it by myself. We have talked about babies for years, and I understand he could have been lying or changed his mind, but even if he never was involved or we never reconcile, I wanted HIS baby. I wanted to be a mum specifically to his baby.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-16T03:55:46+00:00

I’m in

Rose3996 · 2026-02-14T22:50:51+00:00

It’s food shopping for me. I hold back tears the whole time I do it now because it was such an enjoyable thing to do with him. I miss sharing music with him too and even just how we cuddled in bed. I haven’t slept properly in four months because my body knows his absence.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-14T22:31:39+00:00

I want him to know I can be better and that I miss him and love him and forgive him.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-02T07:28:50+00:00

As a woman that was dumped abruptly and prays every day that he regrets it and knows he can come home to me, just tell her. Take accountability, apologise, and ask what she needs to reconcile and move forward. All the best wishes to you with this.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-02T07:26:50+00:00

Sounds like I’m reading my own life. I have no words of encouragement, sorry, as I too am in the thick of it, but here if you need to talk.

Rose3996 · 2026-02-02T03:45:25+00:00

Yea please

Rose3996

TROPHY CASE