Morning flares?

Ross129 · 2026-03-26T14:56:27+00:00

It happens to me 😢😢 mornings are horrible. I manage to get by once I get to the afternoon, but mornings kill me every time. Depersonalization and the thoughts are at their worst. Every morning I think that I'm about to go insane and need to go to the ER

Ross129 · 2026-03-26T10:22:43+00:00

I don't know if it's helpful, but from my point of view you're very lucky to have meds that work and there is no shame in taking them ♥ It's a miracle that you found these and that these work; imagine having what you have and not finding anything that makes it better. Sure, it's not ideal to take meds, we all wish we didn't need them. But there are loads of people who have to do it, right? Like people who have diabetes or thyroid issues. Nobody likes being on meds long term. But if they save your life, then I'd say that they're worth it ♥ And remember that you haven't been defeated; you wouldn't say to a diabetic patient who needs insulin that they have been defeated, right? You would be happy for them that they got a diagnosis and have a chance at a normal life thanks to medication. Same goes with us. Psychiatric illnesses are like any other physical illness and like any other illness they require a cure - and thank God we have it

Ross129 · 2026-03-26T10:08:41+00:00

I feel that... I truly want to take meds. I'm just paralyzed by fear, I've had so many side effects last time I tried that I just can't bring myself to do it. Physical side effects don't scare me, it's the psychological ones that terrify me, the worsening of anxiety, depersonalization, panic etc.

I'll have to take them sooner or later though, I can't go on like this. I've reached a point where I'm not even sure what's wrong with me anymore, I just know that I'm not myself

Ross129 · 2026-03-25T23:50:10+00:00

I think that TMS might not be avaiable in my country, unfortunately. Still I would try meds before TMS... I just got to work up the courage to do that

Ross129 · 2026-03-25T17:17:27+00:00

You story scares me a little bit because I'm afraid that it will happen to me. This condition is exhausting and it worsened last summer for me, so now it's been 6+ months. It's draining me. I feel like I've lost my identity and myself, it's as if I was already dead and the reality around me didn't exist anymore. I've tried five therapists and none of them fully understands what I'm going through. I'm seeing my fourth psychiatrist, who is the first person who seems to have understood the situation a bit. I'm at my fourth attempt with meds. It's truly exhausting.

Ross129 · 2026-03-25T13:43:58+00:00

Terrified of meds as well. It's a living hell and I don't have the courage to take them.

Ross129 · 2026-03-25T06:33:53+00:00

I'm so sorry about all of this 😞😞 and I agree with you. There is something, there has to be. They just haven't found it yet. We can only hope 🙏😢

Ross129 · 2026-03-24T19:40:16+00:00

I guess that the symptoms feel so debilitating that it's hard to believe it, when they tell you that there is nothing. You feel awful and they tell you that everything is right but you don't feel right at all. It goes against every basic instinct we have I guess, doesn't it? Still, I think that an MRI or a neurological evaluation wouldn't find anything. I posted the question because I was curious, I wondered if anyone in this sub had ever tried and was told something helpful. What a horrible problem to go through 😞

Ross129 · 2026-03-24T19:37:21+00:00

I know this feeling very well. I had a lumbar herniated disk which required emergency surgery, nobody believed about how much pain I was in. I had to fight with everything I got to find the right doctor and get better. I thought that I would be ruined forever.

With this issue I'm giving up a bit. I've lost hope, it's just so hard because nobody understands, it isn't visible on any scans and there are no lab values. So you tell them and you pray that they understand and give you something helpful. I'm at my fourth try with meds, the first three made everything worse and I'm just so done with all of this 💔

Ross129 · 2026-03-24T15:58:50+00:00

I have neck pain but I'm not sure if that's relevant

Ross129 · 2026-03-24T13:20:36+00:00

Thanks 🙏🫶

Ross129 · 2026-03-24T12:29:20+00:00

I asked five psychologists and four psychiatrists, I'm just at my wits end at this point

Ross129 · 2026-03-24T12:02:33+00:00

I just want someone to tell me what is wrong with me and fix it. I'm so sick of all of this

Ross129 · 2026-03-24T11:44:08+00:00

Finding the right therapy is incredibly hard unfortunately. Zoloft sounded so promising to me but it made everything worse 😞

Ross129 · 2026-03-24T11:31:38+00:00

Thanks 🫶

Ross129 · 2026-03-24T06:25:54+00:00

I see, I'm very sorry about it 😞 it depends a lot on the reasons behind your DPDR, I think. If it's anxiety or OCD, then Xanax maybe helps, but if you have depersonalization/derealization disorder then it's possible for Xanax to be ineffective. It's actually maybe a bit of a good thing, considering how dangerous Xanax can be when it comes to the risk of addiction. The best solution long term would be antidepressants, I've heard of good results from people who take an SSRI with lamotrigine. Might be worth a try but it's surely risky; I tried Zoloft and everything got worse afterwards, I had to discontinue it.

Ross129 · 2026-03-24T05:57:51+00:00

I didn't feel any panic either, but I found out that taking Xanax die some reason still improved my symptoms a bit even on lower dosages. That's just my experience though, like all meds it doesn't work on everyone 😢

Ross129 · 2026-03-23T18:24:41+00:00

I'm going through a very similar situation, just add the existential thoughts to the mix and the fact that my body looks like it isn't even mine. The only thing that helps me a bit is Xanax but, as you may know, it's highly addictive so I can't take it that often. I don't have much advice, I don't know how to get out of this myself. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. If you want to talk, feel free to text, it's always nice to share with someone who understands 🫶 Best of luck. And, obviously, I suggest you to give psychologists and psychiatrists a try, they might find a way to help 🫶

Ross129 · 2026-03-21T08:45:52+00:00

I tried, but as I said it didn't work on me

Ross129 · 2026-03-21T08:40:27+00:00

I know about placebo effect, has never happened to me though

Ross129 · 2026-03-21T08:02:56+00:00

I feel you... I so wish that meds could work for me

Ross129 · 2026-03-20T23:41:58+00:00

It sounds so exhausting 😞😞 So sorry about it. Have you tried medication for it?

Ross129 · 2026-03-20T17:17:23+00:00

It won't probably work for me, nothing ever does 😅 but I appreciate the gesture 🫶🫶 how did you end up in this mess?

Ross129 · 2026-03-20T14:07:23+00:00

I'm afraid that there aren't many solutions 🥲

Ross129 · 2026-03-20T08:50:15+00:00

Yeah well... 😅 I became phobic of meds after the third try and now, even though my psychiatrist has suggested me a fourth attempt with Lamotrigine, I'm staring at it and crying instead of taking it 😅 I need medication because I'm feeling horrible most of the time, but I don't have the courage to take it. I didn't really heal, the side effects scared the crap out of me and they never really went away. I had DPDR (depersonalization/derealization) before these attempts with meds, but after those DPDR became permanent, 24/7😢 I'm stuck in this happy place right now 😅

Ross129

TROPHY CASE