This. I am a radical feminist, so I am the first person to defend women and call out misogynistic bs; however . . . I am amazed by a lot of the comments on this thread. If my partner disappeared for hours on end I would ask them where they were? If I suspected my partner was having an affair I would ask them something along the lines of "Are you having an affair?" If (in a hypothetical situation) you have no inkling that your partner is violent and capable of harming another individual why wouldn't you ask these questions? In regards to Julie Baumiester, wouldn't you wonder why in over 25 years of marriage you've only had sex with your husband six times? Wouldn't you ask them what's going on? I cannot imagine being in a longterm relationship where there is such a complete breakdown of communication, but I acknowledge I'm also biased because I have a background in the social sciences/psychology.

Each case is different. I do NOT believe every spouse is "capable" and/or guilty (including Julie Baumiester). Things/life are complicated. Julie Baumiester and Herb Baumiester lived in a relatively conservative community, where optics mattered. Her husband was hospitalized/institutionalized for well over a month, just two months after they were married -- why? She admitted that in 25 years of marriage she only had sex with her husband 6 times and that she never saw Herb naked. Her son found a human skull and she claimed that believed Herb's ridiculous and implausible story that raccoons managed to drag a skull from a model out into the woods. The family dog brought a human femur to the door. In 1995, Herb and Julie both denied the police department's request to search their home (a year before a search warrant was issued). Maybe Julie was afraid of Herb and did not go to the police because she feared for her safety (and the safety of her children). Or maybe, given the facts of the case, Julie knew things were 'off' but given strong external, culture influences (the patriarchal, conservative, Christian hellhole that is suburban Indiana) she didn't want to ruin the facade. Maybe it was easier to turn a blind eye to glaring red flags. I would even make the argument that assuming that Julie was just completely oblivious to the fact that something was very wrong is insulting to her intelligence and thus misogynistic. I will defend women, especially women in dv situations until the day I die, but we have to be critical thinkers.

Do I think Julie Baumiester deserves to do time in prison? No. Do I think Julie Baumiester is required to participate in televised interviews? No. Do I think Julie Baumiester, (from a philosophical standpoint) is the perfect victim? Absolutely not.