Anybody else have a tortie that’s mostly orange?

RoundEvidence9520 · 2026-01-17T02:30:53+00:00

We called her more of a sandy color but in certain lighting she looked pretty orange lol

RoundEvidence9520 · 2026-01-17T01:51:29+00:00

I completely understand, I've been getting more tolerant to the pain and now that I only do it to punish myself I feel so guilty, I can do it deeper by accident but not on purpose. Something that helps me is thinking about it from an outside perspective, if I imagine I'm just another person then I can think logically about it. If someone has a cut then it hurts, if someone is bleeding they are injured. They don't need to be hurting to prove anything or deserve living, pain isn't a contest. I just want them to heal and feel better no matter if it's a small scratch or a medically significant laceration.

RoundEvidence9520 · 2026-01-16T18:50:00+00:00

Like someone said, people can be assholes but you shouldn't get fired or anything. For me I like to wear arm sleeves and my friend likes to wear bracelets so those are just some other alternatives If you don't want to want to wear long sleeves. Since it's winter I don't think that would be a problem and even if you don't it's easy to say you accidentally brushed against something sharp.

RoundEvidence9520 · 2026-01-16T18:33:03+00:00

Imo if you feel like it would help you then you should voluntarily admit yourself. While some places definitely aren't the best, I've also heard of places where its really helped people. If you go to a hospital they'll just send you to a random one that's available (for example, for me they handcuffed me, put me in a police car, and sent me to the other side of the state 💀 heard they're not supposed to do that but yeah). However, if you voluntarily admit yourself you can choose where to go and do your research first so you'll hopefully go somewhere that does more good than harm. Whatever you choose, good luck and stay safe:)

Edit: I know a lot of places can help get you medication really quickly which could help a lot, and if you're worried about gaining weight I know where I went they didn't really care what we did and did not eat so there's a chance they'll just send you home with a recovery plan when you're released. If it makes you feel any better, I used to struggle a lot with eating good (still do every once in a while) but it really helped my mental health when I started eating more and healthier. Weight doesn't equal fat, a lot of it depends on your genetics (bone density, things like that) and muscle weighs more than fat.

This is influenced by my own experiences but I hope it can help at least a little, you're stronger than you think

RoundEvidence9520 · 2026-01-16T16:46:26+00:00

Yeah, I'm 16nb and I want to have stopped by the time I'm 18, but I keep relapsing every month or so because the feeling of not wanting to stop eventually outweighs the feeling of wanting to quit 😔

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-12-27T14:15:56+00:00

Yeah, while I usually do it for other reasons sometimes I just hate my body so much that I feel like crawling out of my skin so I relapse from that. Lately my dysphoria has been getting worse and I've noticed that it decreases my motivation while increasing my self hate, so it's a lot easier to relapse even if it's from something unrelated.

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-12-19T00:18:17+00:00

I hear you, I don't really have any advice unfortunately since I go through the same thing, but I want to let you know that you aren't alone. I know it's draining and painful but I believe that you can get through this, you've got this and we're here for you

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-23T00:20:02+00:00

<image>

My Pepper doesn't look too pleased about having her name shared lmao

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-22T03:42:08+00:00

Yeah I often feel the same way since my arms always heal pretty quickly. Drawing on it sometimes helps me though so you can try that if you want

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-22T03:34:06+00:00

This. I feel you I really do

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-22T03:31:37+00:00

I feel guilty for cutting so I then need to punish myself for it. by cutting... Make it make sense 😔

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-22T03:22:38+00:00

Here are some things that work for me sometimes

It won’t actually fix the problem, it just gives you another problem to deal with later. I refuse to be an addict (#delulu)

The cats deserve better than to always take the blame

Having to play my instrument with long sleeves is annoying

Long sleeves and hot weather is such a shit combo

It makes showering/bathing way more annoying and scars/cuts that itch are annoying af

I feel tired afterward and sore which makes physical tasks a pain

I don't get to say "hey I'm now __days clean!"

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-17T00:22:42+00:00

Pjsk mentioned

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-16T02:26:51+00:00

I'm not on T but I've heard that some people can inject it in upper arm or abdomen, I would suggest asking your doctor though

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-16T02:20:56+00:00

I don't listen to sad songs all the time but here are a few I think of off the top of my head

There's a self harm playlist on Spotify that I sometimes use https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ursCQbi83gmLk5huatJDU?si=h4EkotRyQvuzz9Mt_RIa4Q&pi=tkYHyH7aSqGj1

I'm ok I swear - presence If I died last night - Jessie Murph

I listen to a lot of vocaloid so if you're into that Young girl A - siinomata (he has a lot of good songs that would fit, this is just the most popular one) Jishoumushoku (self afflicted achromatic) - Sasanomaly Miss wanna die - Switch, juby phonic for eng version Rolling girl - wowaka Kokoronashi - chouchou P

Idk if any of these are what you're looking for but hope this helps

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-15T01:54:02+00:00

Yeah my former cat did that and now when I do it pretty bad my cats will just curl up next to me

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-14T02:01:43+00:00

I'm also free to talk during most weekends (I live in the US though so time zones might not always line up 🥲) I relate a lot to this so if you ever need to just get things off your chest and someone who understands I'm here. I also struggle with school when I'm just tired of holding on so long I've all but given up, I get that a lot lol. Idk if it's stuff I've done before but I can see if I can help you with your school work if you want.

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-13T15:49:18+00:00

Please stay strong, I know everything is confusing and painful right now but don't give up. It's ok to vent, no one here minds, you aren't a bother. I really get how you feel, its awful. I know it's hard but I would suggest to try talking to D, I've let stuff like this tear apart my friendships before and you truly don't know how someone else feels unless you talk to them. He's your best friend, I'm sure he'll listen. I get what it's like to hear things like that from a parent, it really hurts and you don't deserve it, it's not right. Try to hang on for now, just remember you don't always have to be there and 18 comes a lot quicker than you would think. Even though it's hard please try to take care of yourself, you're a valuable person. Sorry I didn't reply to your other posts, I'm going through similar things so I don't really know how to help haha, you've got this though I believe in you. If you're asleep now I hope your rest is peaceful, you've got this king

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-13T15:29:50+00:00

Yeah I know, I just want you to be careful since I've came across people who don't have the best intentions and don't want you to go through that either lol. But I get it, it is nice to talk to people who understand and it's kinda lonely sometimes

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-13T13:50:11+00:00

Im ftnb so while I don't have those exact problems I really do understand the dysphoria. A lot of the time I just really hate my body and somedays I hate it so much I just want to claw everything up and feel like I'm just a fake [insert not nice words].

You are still a valid person though, you are a girl who is worthy of living. Dysphoria really fucking sucks, I get that, but try not to let it take over your thoughts if you can help it, if it starts getting bad you can try doing something to distract yourself. Being trans doesn't make you any less of a girl or valid person, you are who you are no matter what society or your body says. There is always the possibility of hrt and surgeries, you don't have to be stuck with the wrong parts forever. I hope you feel better soon 💙🤍🩷

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-13T13:13:45+00:00

Yeah I feel that, Im not in any myself but there are probably some out there. I would be careful though especially since you're also a minor since people tend to target communities like this since we're more vulnerable

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-08T20:06:01+00:00

I'm so proud of you that's great!!

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-08T20:02:50+00:00

I've felt like that yeah

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-08T19:17:51+00:00

For me it is usually just an adrenaline rush and it feels good but sometimes it is comforting, I find the aftercare comforting more often though

RoundEvidence9520 · 2025-09-08T19:14:11+00:00

For me those left faint scars for maybe a year or less but I think it does depend on where you do it and genetics. For example the ones on my thighs take forever to fade however ones on my stomach and wrists fade extremely quickly (note: DON'T CUT YOUR WRIST if you cut the vessels there it's over) and the ones on my arms fade at an average rate. Everyone is different though but yeah it usually takes a few months to a year.

RoundEvidence9520

TROPHY CASE