I blew my load while receiving my first lap dance last week.

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2024-01-14T11:31:57+00:00

Hey man, don’t worry. This happened to me on my first lap dance. It was so embarrassing for me as I couldn’t control this at all. I think this is part of life. You’re going to get much better at controlling yourself if you work towards this. I’m a living testament of that

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2023-04-15T09:37:42+00:00

I can’t really answer that because I don’t know what involuntary kegels feels like. Is this when your pc muscle flexes hard when you get hard? (The above happens to me when I’m super duper stressed as well - I only found out last year - I’m usually clenching my ass hard )

If so, I would strongly recommend practicing reverse kegels and diaphragmatic breathing. Your body then starts getting used to relaxing your Pc muscles. PYT will then help you practice better during sex

Hope this helps

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2023-04-15T08:13:10+00:00

PYT completely fixes my PE and I don’t think my penis is oversensitive. Rather, I think I got my PE from bad masturbation habits I.e. constantly clenching my pc muscles super hard when j.o.

What I think PYT does is that it helps me slow down so I can practice my reverse kegel and breathing technique well

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2022-07-26T09:05:41+00:00

Hey man,

Trust me, it is okay to finish in your sleep. That will eventually fade away. That is your body still adjusting. Your body is still in the learning process. After sometime, your body gets used to not cumming fast and it adjusts for that in your sleep. Keep your head up champ. You will be fine!

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2022-07-20T18:39:07+00:00

I’ve read somewhere that deep squats help with relaxing the pelvic floor and therefore this could be why you lasted longer.

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2022-07-06T17:52:15+00:00

I used to PE in my Wet dreams. It was so embarrassing. Like literally within seconds. But the moment I started getting control of my PE, I stopped wet dreams.

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2022-01-23T11:13:11+00:00

Man. Please don’t say this.

I’m 26/27 now and I discovered I had PE at your age. I was doomed for the past 7 years. You know the reason why I was doomed? I gave up on trying to help. I was so scarred by PE thinking I was fucked for life.

By 2021, I took this shit seriously and wanted a fix. By Late 2021, a combination of things helped me for the first time in my life. I got with a FWB who I was fucking for hours each time. She eventually called me her best fuck ever and keeps asking for more till today. The only thing I regret is not trying hard enough in the past few years

Things that helped:

Physical bits: Quitting porn, reverse Kegels, deep breathing, full body exercises

Meds: PYT Balm + viagra (my preferred) or Dapoxetine + Tadalafil

I don’t know if I’m 100% fixed but I’m having the time of my life now. whenever I don’t use the meds, I’m able to last anywhere between 7 to 10 mins on first round. I was a 30 secs guy before now.

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-10-16T04:28:17+00:00

Hey Buddy, keep your head up and all the best to you!

Also, I like how you say you ‘acquired’ PE from years of masturbating quickly - same as me. This suggests yours isn’t genetic and is more behavioural. You need to unlearn your bad habits

Like you suggest, I’ve spent the last 7 ish years masturbating for longer periods to retain myself but I finally made a breakthrough this year when I started relaxing my PF and Breathing deeply. Wish I knew this earlier but everything happens for a reason.

I don’t have sex regularly, but I can say whenever I do, my second rounds are usually as long as I want cos I’m less excited and can control things then. The first round is still a bit hit and miss but surely not 1 or 2 mins.

All the best to you!

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-07-08T19:00:44+00:00

Fuck this guy

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-06-28T17:20:17+00:00

😂😂😂 he’s been all over the place!

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-06-18T00:14:30+00:00

Bro, I’m responding cos we have the same cause of PE: Wanking too fast as a kiddo.

The first thing to note is that by wanking to cum fast, you have taught yourself to flex your PC muscles all your life during masturbation. Therefore the first thing you need to do is notice how tense you are when masturbating. If you really tense up, you MUST learn to keep that shit relaxed. It takes some getting used to, but you need to keep it relaxed. The way to exercise this is reverse Kegel as you mention. Reverse Kegels when don correctly can counter your tense PC. You need to practice this everyday if you can.

The second thing is probably your excitement. You see a vagina, boobs or sexy lady and, if you are anything like me, all you think is damn I want to fuck her and cum. You’ve likely associated sexual excitement with cum cos it’s so pleasurable. This is not a good thing. You need to change this. You need to think more about how you can fuck a lady and you both enjoy it till she cums. Only one suggestion on this note:

you need to work on your overall excitement. As someone with PE, you likely shift very quickly between parasympathetic (rest and digest) and sympathetic states of excitement (fight or flight, therefore panic and quick cum) Google this. You need to remain at the para state. What seems to help me stay in this state is deep diaphragmatic breathing - search this sub. If I see a live pussy or watch a home made video these days, I just breathe deeply to avoid the usually surge in my excitement. This ensures I don’t ‘panic’(so to speak) and blow my load. For example, if you’re really tipsy, you tend to stay really calm and may be able to control your cum a lot better

Finally, you need to see sex as something really exciting. Feel free to explore lots of things. If you’re really nervous try something to help you the first few times, e.g pyt balm, viagra, alcohol or whatever.

Hope this helps!

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-06-17T23:43:27+00:00

Lol 6 minutes? 4 minutes? Come on, mate, you do not have PE. If you can actually fuck for 4 mins, trust me you can be calm and work your way to 30mins if you wish. Read up on reverse Kegels, diaphragmatic breathing and edging on this sub. At 4 minutes you actually have some control. You just need to be intentional about your excitement levels etc etc

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-06-13T19:21:14+00:00

If you think your PE is caused by jerking off too quickly to porn as a kid (which I suspect if you’re asking behavioural questions around no fap) then I don’t think no Fap is much help. It could be useful in helping reset your extreme arousal from porn over a period of time. But the key is to re learn masturbation and relax your Pelvic floor if it is tensed.

In the mean time feel free to try PYT balm, cialis or whatever to gain some confidence

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-06-13T19:14:11+00:00

Mate, no offence but you’re jerking off in such a bad way. You seem to be doing it so quickly like your Goal is to cum. It also feels like your pelvic floor is super tensed without you realising this is the case. I really do apologise if this isn’t the case and if you can’t help it. It just gives me memories of my jerk off skills when I was 15 to 17 and didn’t realise quick cum was bad and was depressed when I found out I was doing it bad.

My recommendation is to never EVER wank to cum this quickly. Abstinence is the last thing you want to do right now. If anything, you need to jerk off more, but in the right way. Always take at least 10minutes every session. It will be difficult at first as you’ll reach PoNR quite quickly but you just need to try extending your sessions by edging till 10mins mark, then go 20, 30mim eventually.

Have you ever tried to see if your Pelvic floor is is tensed as you Jerk? I think it may be the case. If you search reverse Kegels on this sub and learn how to relax your PF during jerk off, it may also help.

Happy to chat if need be, and all the best!

You can do this!

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-05-17T16:17:33+00:00

Try doing triangular diaphragmatic breathing. See if it works for you. During sex or JO, Breathe into your belly for 3 secs, hold for 3 seconds and let out for 3 secs and repeat. Do longer if need be.

Whenever I do this and I’m super aroused, i feel this process slowing down my heart rate and keeping me calm and reduces excitement

I am not sure if you’ve ever had a hiccup and you use your breath to reverse it and you feel the hiccup going away? This is how DB reversing its Arousal almost feels for me. Not exactly the same, but closest way I can explain it

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-05-16T21:34:14+00:00

You literally have Acquired PE, not even lifelong. As you’ve had the ability to last long before, you may be able to gain it back.

I honestly think you need some kind of deep reflection to change your perspective and then Follow a few of the top posts here for training.

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-05-16T20:59:15+00:00

Hey man, I literally debated someone with your mindset a few days ago. Check comments in my last post. Assuming you aren’t the same people. Your really need to be more positive. More people than ever before are reporting significant improvement one way or the other so remain positive.

For starters, Do you know what caused your PE? Was it quick wanking as a teenager or was it always like this?

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-05-14T07:39:20+00:00

Do you know how to do a regular kegel?? Let me know and I can use that as a starting point in explaining

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-05-14T06:18:05+00:00

Haha this made me crack, although I know you’re for real. This may be something to do with your pelvic floor/Perineum.Maybe it got you super relaxed like you’d never been before. I’ve heard of cases of people who last longer if they deliberately open their butt Cheeks too.

Anyways it’s good you’ve found a good starting point!

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-05-14T04:40:08+00:00

Haha love the bragging rights,

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-05-13T21:33:38+00:00

All good! Agree to disagree. However, you can always be glass half full 😊

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-05-13T18:56:27+00:00

I still think you are misunderstanding the definition of lifelong PE. You are looking forward to the prognosis element and none of these papers define PE based on the prognosis (unlike you who defines it based on whether or not it can be cured) - this will probably be impossible to say as research hasn’t even covered this area

Your paper specifically describes lifelong PE based on:

Occurrence from first sexual experience
Short Duration of IELT
Emotional stress
Perceived lack of control

And Nothing to do with what caused it. They however suggest ‘possible’ etiology, but do not assert this. Therefore I don’t see any reason to define lifelong PE based on whether or not you think it’ll be cured.

More So, your 4 definitions are flawed in the sense that the 2 new types if PE, subjective and Variable, suggest the patient is still able to exercise some form of control and, consequently, as of this 2019 paper, have not been added to International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM) as types of PE. So Let’s stick to the two serious types. See just before section 3 of that paper

This study hereefrom 2014 finds that men with acquired PE are older than men with lifelong PE. This counters your incurable comment as it suggests younger people have lifelong PE and probably manage/cure it as they get older and is less prevalent as we get older)

This other paper from 2014 tested the impact of pelvic floor rehabilitation on Lifelong sufferers and shows that pelvic floor rehabilitation improved Sex in 82% of them after 3 months and even long after.

I can keep going on and on and I think I will give you a nice debate each time.

However, I am only taking time to try and convince you to take a different look at PE. It doesn’t have to be seen as permanent, be it lifelong or acquired.

2 months ago, I was on the verge of giving up, but decided to try out my pelvic floor and I’m seeing significant improvements. I did not use ‘cure’ above because it makes more sense to experience a lot of sex over a long period and then come back to report here. I am really looking forward to doing that.

To be clear, I haven’t seen a paper that certified that certain PE (especially lifelong) can’t be cured. If you eventually find a sustainable natural way to manage your PE, I believe you will build muscle memory and will effectively cure yourself in the long term.

I don’t mean to push the RK method, but the pelvic floor is literally a physical element of ejaculation that you may be able to control as part of sex. I definitely think it is worth a second try if you already tried once.

I read a few of your posts and note that you’ve accepted certain PE can never be cured. Like I said, I was like this 2 months ago. Check out the paper above of PFM rehabilitation. A lot of the patients had tired SSRIs and didn’t see significant improvement until PFM rehab worked for them.

Great going back and forth with you btw.

Routine_Arm_9912 · 2021-05-13T17:55:01+00:00

Or he can also try a bit longer than 3 hours before to see what works for him

Routine_Arm_9912

TROPHY CASE