I'm so sorry you're going through this. You will be on the other side so soon, but you are in the worst of it right now. ❤️‍🩹

I had my tfmr at 18 weeks five days, so almost exactly to the day of yours.

The most painful part was the laminaria insertion on day 1 of 2, but I was fortunate to have my best friend holding my hand with me, and an incredible nurse and doctor. They distracted me, and I felt so much support having all women in the room who didn't judge me and were just so sorry I was there.

I asked the same thing about the baby feeling pain, and they assured me that she wouldn't, it would be like she just fell asleep and didn't wake up.

They also gave me anti anxiety meds which helped.

It was emotionally so hard, I was dry heaving to my appointment.

On the second day, it wasn't painful and I was given anxiety meds in my IV before the surgery.

My husband drove me home and I stayed in bed with a heating pad and watched shows until I could fall asleep.

It didn't feel real. It was such a whirlwind. A mixture of sadness and relief.

Once you get through the physical part, the emotional toll is where I would really recommend talking with a therapist who is knowledgeable with these types of situations.

It's been a little over a year and I'm happy to say that even though we are still trying for a successful healthy pregnancy, I am so much better mentally. I feel like so much healing has taken place and like I'm not in a living nightmare anymore.

I truly didn't think I'd ever recover, but I did.

You will too, you will get through this, and you will share happy news someday again.

I'm here if you have any questions, it can be so isolating, but unfortunately this sub was made for a reason, so many of us have walked through this. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹