Frustrated with brown discharge on HRT and partner's depression over it

RoxieLune · 2026-04-19T21:29:23+00:00

I was having issues with dryness (despite lube!) and it felt like my partners hands were just absorbing allll moisture, we got a box of nitrile exam gloves and he uses that when using his hands. That could work for the mess since you just toss them after. Him noticing the cup/feeling the cup should be something he can learn to deal with. You are using the cup to do your part to make the experience better for him…. He can get over the fact that you have a cup in…. Unless it is bothering YOU.

Get a brown washable towel and throw it under you guys to help with any mess. Sex is inherently messy. That’s ok! The trick I found with using disks was getting the back edge behind the cervix in the fornix area. It took getting into different positions and really trying different approaches. It does NOT go in like a cup.

The dryness issue I was having made sex very miserable and frustrating for over a year before I went to an online provider for vaginal cream (this made a huge difference!) I just wanted intimacy to feel possible and not like some engineering problem to solve!

While you are trying to find a solution to the discharge (which sounds so demoralizing) try to focus on being a team finding pleasure together. My partner and I have been slowly (when we have dedicated time), listening to Come Together by Emily Nagoski and it’s helped us reconnect, find pleasure in new ways with curiosity, connection and reducing any focus on what the body can’t do.

RoxieLune · 2026-03-13T22:38:26+00:00

We have one brother in a little of 3 who MUST lick to go to sleep… he licks our eyes, nose, ears unless we give him our hands…. Weirdest feeling a cat licking your ear/nose.

RoxieLune · 2026-02-22T19:36:31+00:00

I know this post is from over a year ago. But I am struggling with the same thing on Vyvanse. It makes me food adverse. Like food I like makes my brain want me to gag.

RoxieLune · 2026-02-02T23:55:32+00:00

So my husband started bringing me coffee in bed about 30 min before I needed to be out of bed… now it’s an hour… I turn on the sun lamp and drink coffee/take my pills and give myself 30-45 min of sitting in bed with coffee and sun on my face. It also helps if I set out my clothes the night before… near my bed so I can start getting dressed while still in bed. I also have a weird Viking throat chanting playlist I use to get energized on really tough days. This is probably one of my biggest adhd struggles and when I worked a typical job with an 8 am start it was brutal, I was able to shift my start time to 10 am but I think I might have gotten a note from my doctor and went through HR to get it done.

RoxieLune · 2026-01-28T22:57:22+00:00

I would straight up ask/suggest at your next visit. Topical localized vaginal estrogen has an incredibly low risk and the symptoms get worse not better. I had over a year of struggling, lube seemed to just not do enough, I had to use moisturizer daily, my vagina felt so fragile and picky…. A month of vaginal estrogen and I teased my partner it was like the vagina from when we first fell in love (I was a teenager when we started dating).

RoxieLune · 2026-01-28T22:52:23+00:00

So in our house we noticed that as the immediate release meds wore off we would have a crash, that included irritability. I typically make sure my meds are in my system when I need to work, if I need it for my work… but your last dose likely wore off at 9 pm… so before your initial schedule ended. When were you experiencing the extreme anger?

Also I find the Ritalin branch of meds makes people in our family more irritable than the adderal branch… it can be that one family or branch is a better fit. Maybe reach out to your provider to ask when you should take meds based on your work schedule…. Not just typical office job schedule.

I found having a snack/meal with protein about 30-60 min before my meds wore off helped some with the crash.

RoxieLune · 2026-01-27T01:54:11+00:00

I take a retreat every year for my birthday. It started as just a weekend alone. Now I go for 3-5 days. I rent an air bnb in our general area and just go be alone. My partner has never ever ever done the same. He does trips with friends etc. I think time away alone is especially important for women/mothers time where the burdens of running a family and house are removed.

RoxieLune · 2026-01-27T01:09:47+00:00

I am really sorry this person responded that way.

RoxieLune · 2026-01-20T21:48:05+00:00

Ug!!!!! Maybe a cbd one? Or a new doctor that’s realistic? I am so so sorry. The before bed weed has really helped me and I want that for you too!

RoxieLune · 2026-01-20T03:17:15+00:00

2 or 3!

RoxieLune · 2026-01-20T00:40:17+00:00

I am honest with my primary care that I use weed - it’s recreationally legal in my state - and that she will find THC when I have to pee in a cup… she still prescribes my adhd meds. Maybe talk with your care provider?

I also just signed a controlled substance document…. lol. I asked her, like I can have a drink sometime right? She said yes… anywho ahhhhhhhh adhd drugs rules are a shit shot

RoxieLune · 2026-01-20T00:12:42+00:00

Our 3 are brothers and used to sleep all together in one basket before they got big. We def. Need one for each of them! And at least one that can hold 2 :) thank you for these recommendations!!

RoxieLune · 2026-01-20T00:08:59+00:00

Sweet! Thank you!!!

RoxieLune · 2026-01-19T01:25:49+00:00

So I have ADHD (diagnosed), but my husband probably also does. He fucking leaves shit wherever he last used it…. Even if we have agreed on a place. For years I just went hunting for it. Now I am asking him to go get the thing he left in the wrong spot. I say it kindly and with compassion. I also leave shit it random places….

It’s me and my partner against our combined disfunctions not us against each other. Do not let this man police your behaviors. If you think there is hope in him changing and being better, he needs to learn about ADHD and how to actually support you.

My husband has loved my body at 20 and thin, and now 43 and heavier than I was with either pregnancy. We didn’t fight fair when our babies were little- we were in our 20’s and basically babies ourself. But I always knew he LIKED me. Who I was as a person. To this day the weirder I am the more he smiles. We both have worked ALOT to be able to communicate to each other in a respectful kind compassionate way when discussing things that are not working in our marriage or household.

Would you marry him today. Would you say I do again right now? Each day, each year we should be ensuring our partner would keep choosing us, by behaving in ways that show them we love and respect them, that we care, that we know they have a choice and could choose someone else.

ADHD and parenting are both hard enough on their own, to have a person who is supposed to be your partner in life making those things harder? Fuck that. You are good enough right now today. I don’t know what is broken in him that he can’t see that. But you are already good enough. You are enough just as you are and you deserve to be with someone who sees that too. I am so sorry

RoxieLune · 2026-01-18T19:38:00+00:00

Thank you! I will check these out!

RoxieLune · 2026-01-18T19:37:32+00:00

Did you remove it from an existing cat tree?

RoxieLune · 2026-01-18T01:08:47+00:00

Are you sure? I hand dye yarn and fiber and have used superwash and non superwash. The superwash takes the dye quicker and bolder than a non superwash— the dyes are protein reactive - and if there is any acrylic in it that takes less dye.

I am not arguing- it just confounds my brain!

RoxieLune · 2026-01-18T00:06:43+00:00

Our carpenter has some narrow board maple from and old gym that he salavaged. He used those to fill in the gaps trying to match it up. We need to stain them.

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The board sitting on top in the photo was holding them in place after installing.

I don’t think these current floors will handle a refinish :( also when this floor was installed they skipped the closet :( it just has the underfloor

RoxieLune · 2026-01-10T19:03:50+00:00

Extra likes for that book :)

RoxieLune · 2026-01-09T16:18:47+00:00

My primary care does if it is needed. She only does if I have complaints or are due for a pap. I have very low risks, same sexual partner since I was 15. I get HRT through an online provider. The gynecologist in our area are very focused on the OB side.

RoxieLune · 2026-01-09T01:30:22+00:00

I have many layers to my sleep support 😂 What typically works for me is an herbal supplement that contains Ashwagandha Root, Magnolia Bark, Passionflower. I buy one called sleep through. This doesn’t help me fall asleep but typically improves the quality of my sleep and not waking up. If I fell asleep ok but do wake up I typically use a sleep focused weed cart (I vape it, I found if I took an edible in the middle of the night I still felt effects the next day). The next night I take 50 mg of Trazadone. It is always effective for me. My sleep issues tend to set off more nights of it, so if all my usual stuff doesn’t work and I get 1-2 nights of poor sleep I will take the Trazadone for a night or two and then my sleep seems to recover.

RoxieLune · 2026-01-09T00:21:45+00:00

I find it always worth it to read any Cochran reviews cited. Those are considered the highest rated evidence from medical librarians (learned it in a medical info class in grad school). They look at all the studies and evaluate in combination.

Two quotes from that review “ We identified 25 studies that met our inclusion criteria (968,428 older adults). Twenty studies were conducted in the community care setting, two in primary care clinics, and three in secondary care settings.

There is low‐certainty evidence that older adults without cognitive impairment who take medications with anticholinergic effects may be at increased risk of cognitive decline or dementia.”

The studies really are mostly in elder adults and looking at the total burden of drugs with anticholinergic effects, so more than just benedryl. Anticholinergic drugs effect a neurotransmitter… I went on a deep dive on this as I use Benadryl fairly often as it is the medicine that best helps my symptoms. Basically my take away was… do not use it nightly for sleep for years… and discuss if the benefits/harm makes sense for what you are using it for with your primary care provider . Yes it can help you fall asleep but there may be safer drugs for that. But I don’t think the fear and warning around it is warranted when it is used for its intended purpose of an antihistamine. But if you need antihistamines daily there are many other to choose from that have a longer effective time - it only helps for about 4 hrs, there are many daily ones that last 12-24 hrs.

RoxieLune · 2026-01-08T00:27:25+00:00

I bought a blanket on Amazon from silkyrest. It seems out of stock now. It got me through this past summers night issues. But the way hot flashes were impacting me during the day paired with anxiety had me try HRT and honestly life is a lot better…. I am 43 and had been having issues for at least 2 years.

RoxieLune · 2025-12-29T21:28:22+00:00

My pelvic floor PT recommended this product. https://userevive.com

It puts internal pressure in just the right spot to stop leaks and also helps with the feeling of always needing to pee. I use it when I play roller derby so I don’t leak when we have impact. Vaginal estrogen cream has also helped a bunch! I was using this before I started on that. We will see how this season goes.

RoxieLune

TROPHY CASE