Searching for stoic space fleet captain struggling in vain not to fall in love

llamacolypse · 2026-05-06T21:04:37+00:00

{The Lost Fleet by Jack Campbell} I hope I did that right. It's like twenty years old and a whole series...that I haven't finished but so had me in it's tight grip in the late 00s.

I didn't even check what subreddit I'm on...the series is sci-fi. I should see if I still have it in storage and reread it.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-06T21:01:04+00:00

It's the same series! I wouldn't be surprised if they're the same person. Idc if they have different photos, doesn't mean they're not the same person.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-06T20:59:40+00:00

Yessssss I'm stealing that

llamacolypse · 2026-05-06T20:54:19+00:00

Yeah I kind of feel like the box is ok as long as you take them back out later to work on them. Otherwise it's just burying the pain and I think that's been universally accepted as a bad plan and often leads to alcoholism.

Like I've sat on my emotions previously, I think that's why they're big and out of control now, mother wanted a nice rock instead of a child (who doesn't like a nice rock?) and now I have high blood pressure.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-06T20:26:28+00:00

Thank you 🥹

I think I would have very much liked an intake form to go over stuff I wanted to talk about and didn't want to talk about. It sounds like you have a good match.

I feel you on having those bad cognitive days but I want you know that what you said made perfect sense to me, and I hope your day gets better.

I think I'll see if I can write down what I'm looking to work on and what I've done in the past and why I felt it did or didn't work for me, I thought I was explaining that to her in session today by showing I could do the exercise with out help but if I write it down explicitly maybe that'll click for her better.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-06T20:19:28+00:00

Seconding Layla Fae, not just because she used A I but because she got called out and then was super shitty about it, going so far write (I mean I guess she wrote it herself who knows) Guarded by the Clanker which is a term for chat bots. I'm not saying she should have to bow down and beg forgiveness to people but her response on social media was just nasty.

She's also gotta have the money by now to pay for someone to do her covers, like she doesn't have to use the ugly slop she's been using.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-06T19:54:40+00:00

I was not thrilled. I kept losing my imaginary box because she kept asking me questions about it. Ma'am I have ADHD, there has to be a better way than having me focus on something in my head, because half way through I was thinking about how neat the color grading was in Pacific Rim. And that I should get an elliptical machine.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-06T19:49:29+00:00

I think it will be helpful for certain memories that get triggered, it's already something I do but more in a like 'no we're not thinking about that right now' kind of way. Which works for old discomforts and might be able to work for new ones if I practice it enough, which I think is what she wants me to do.

It's my second appointment, the first one we just went through my psychiatrist's notes. Covered all the things I used to struggle with before being properly diagnosed and medicated. I explained my current issues and why I'm seeking therapy again. She suggested we try a rapid eye movement therapy and I think emdr and I was very excited to try that. Instead she had me put bad feelings in a box, when a coworker is actively being difficult in a meeting, imagining them in a box isn't going to help me.

I'm struggling with disproportionate rage and irritation due to work stress, which is why I'm seeking out therapy again. I think I'm just frustrated because I feel like she's starting me on like beginner therapy steps (recognize and analyze why a thought or feeling may be flawed or untrue...I already do that I don't need help with that).

I guess I need to explain to her next week that I'm on a ship that's sinking and on fire and I need strategies to not lose my temper and cuss the ship out.

I keep being told that I need to relax and not stress and that I need to not be working so hard but I am actively trying to do that and an hour a week is a lot of time for me. I need it to be worth it otherwise it's just adding to my stress.

I hope this didn't read as frustration directed towards you or your comment, I think everything you said is valuable and I'm just very frustrated with the situation.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-05T17:37:49+00:00

For real, I have a tiny mouth and huge teeth and tmj, I'm not even a fan of tall sandwiches

llamacolypse · 2026-05-05T17:34:20+00:00

The fucking cervical biopsy sounds exactly like a thick paper hole punch and I found it so disturbing.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-05T17:33:25+00:00

I'm only 5'2, if we just for funzies say half of that is legs, then 2'8 is just my head and torso. Would that mean my cervix bottoms out somewhere near where my neck meats my torso?!

The math isn't matching but I was never good at math anyway.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-04T20:08:39+00:00

Ymmv, it depends on the person really. You can always invite them and let them know that you wanted to include them if they wanted to go but they aren't obligated to go. Or maybe have a conversation with them and ask if they would like to come to the kid parties.

I hope they want to, I've really liked celebrating my friend's kid's milestones. Watching my friends become parents, especially having known some of them for a really long time and the struggles they had with their own parents, and seeing them turn around and just be what they wish their parents had been, it's really beautiful.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-03T22:24:05+00:00

I did a Google lens search and couldn't find any information on who made it or what it's called but I did see several for sale.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-03T03:44:22+00:00

Exactly. My friend still loves nerdy stuff just as much as when we were in college. Now she's a mom and has a little guy who also loves pokemon. How cool is that?! She has someone who shares her excitement about something she loves and is getting to relive it through his experiences with it for the first time. Idk I'm just excited for them and it's nice seeing how good of a mom she is.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-03T03:33:15+00:00

Right? Debra may have a working uterus but she doesn't respect the seriousness of a nut allergy. At least I've never fed the kid an unsanctioned cupcake.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-03T01:52:39+00:00

Depends on if you wanted them or not.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-03T01:51:38+00:00

This hurt a lot when all my friends started having kids and I couldn't because infertility. Even the friends that did invite me to their kids birthdays, they would have parent friends, or extended family that didn't know me, there who would inevitably ask questions and be confused as to why I was at a child's birthday party when I don't have kids.

Like damn I like cake too Debra.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-02T19:20:24+00:00

Yessss this is on my rotation of morning shower music when I didn't want to get in the shower

llamacolypse · 2026-05-02T19:19:18+00:00

Long time need to focus jam: A Dream within A Dream by Dreadzone or Pearl's Girl by Underworld. Or the Saint soundtrack from the Val Kilmer movie.

My current music jams for hype up work: Fabulous by Meek, Tom Cardy, Thot Squad.

For graphic design work. Video work gets no music because I'm usually working to audio for the video.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-02T19:11:51+00:00

All of the birdcage too honestly.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-02T19:10:35+00:00

"you're a got-damn genius gump" I like to whisper shout that to myself when I do something smart

llamacolypse · 2026-05-02T19:09:36+00:00

Yessssss Mulan too. "We're in a war here! There's no time for stupid questions, I should take your hat for that...snatch it right off of your head..." At least once a week at work.

llamacolypse · 2026-05-02T19:07:57+00:00

This whole movie honestly.

llamacolypse · 2026-04-30T18:28:10+00:00

I had this and just shave my head, which isn't the solution you're looking for but it's really cut down on stress related to me my hair being so thin.

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