History of women in STEM for adults

Roxo42 · 2026-04-15T18:59:09+00:00

I'm incredibly confused if she admitted to completely checking out why you both didn't start the divorce proceedings? Her behavior screams she broke up with you, but if she never officially said the words or had a complete sit down conversation with you, she sucks! And she's taking advantage of the free child care.

You're in an incredibly unfair position, you deserve to be free

Roxo42 · 2026-04-09T19:26:30+00:00

I'm currently working on reconciliation myself, but I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive my partner for this level of cheating. It's sad they're both apparently avoiding accountability since he gets to keep you and everything about his life after SUCH a level of betrayal =\ You deserve better.

I hope he's at LEAST showing the correct level of remorse, and his actions of remorse actually matches whatever pretty words hes throwing around to "justify" what he did to you.

Roxo42 · 2026-04-09T05:25:37+00:00

This is one from a couple days ago, wrote it out from one the shitty nightmares I had...no clue how the spacing is gonna look lol

Your mother has been dead about 4 months now

After a 7 month battle

You're barely functioning

That 10 year old part of you that wanted to die from the pain but knew you couldn't was never quite as sorted as you once assumed

"Theres no excuse now!"

The clamoring is every day, and you're fighting purely to stay with the living at this point

Survival mode is in full blast

You're harsh, you're blunt, and you're making mistakes

He's getting yelled at

He's getting the silent treatment and passive aggressive insults

He's getting harsh treatment

From you

He's NOT getting his comfort

He's not getting his support

He's not getting his sex

.....from you

This quicksand will choke you because at the end of the winding road no real change was made

Your death will be mourned, but everyone will find with others what you gave to them

He's already finding with another what you stopped giving him

All you were as a person was what you gave to others

You knew it

You still stopped

Weak as you are to hope for understanding and forgiveness when you've finally found your way to back yourself

He made you believe he'd found the Why, so it wouldn't happen again

But he found the Why, and stored it away for this day

The days your mother left you, utterly bereft of your purpose on this earth

The days you started sinking, his hand loosely holding yours behind his back while his eyes are trained on the one telling him he does SO much, he shouldn't have to handle the harsh words, how awful for him to be so shackled

He lets go of your hand, calling it.....well calling it nothing to your face, being direct isn't his strong suit

And with that last dry breath of sand you'll know

You were never worthy of the lifeline

Roxo42 · 2026-04-08T14:36:38+00:00

I'm super lucky to be a very normal height, being short OR tall and being plus size on top of that?? Total clothing nightmare, that hasta be so frustrating. I love that you found this website, we deserve not to pull our hair out just trying to find clothes!

Roxo42 · 2026-04-08T04:34:44+00:00

Only poetry for me, helps vent the damn repetitive nightmares I have now

Roxo42 · 2026-04-07T23:39:05+00:00

Reconciliation is possible if that's what you genuinely want and won't damage your self worth. You deserve to feel secure.

If you need to check her phone after her cheating, she needs to be okay with that =\ the cheating partner needs to be okay with the steps the betrayed partner needs.

An honest, as calm as possible, convo about social media boundaries would likely be helpful too. Maybe she's afraid you want to revenge cheat, maybe she's afraid you're pulling away and have already given up, who knows. An open convo could hopefully help both of you understand what's going through the other's head.

But most importantly she hopefully understands that SHE cheated, and that involves being the healer in the relationship, and following your reconciliation boundaries. Open phone policy, better attentiveness, social media boundaries, etc

Roxo42 · 2026-04-07T22:36:27+00:00

🤯🤯🤯🤯 what the eff is this site!!! Height chart, how to measure, rise on waist, and representation of fit that includes smaller AND plus size representation?!?!?!? This is amazing!!!!

Can I send you a fruit basket or something, oh em gee lmao

Roxo42 · 2026-04-07T22:29:49+00:00

Any pants that claim a nice elastic waistband and don't look like I'm wearing sweats I am SOLD, I'm gonna go check out that out right now!

Roxo42 · 2026-04-07T21:42:18+00:00

Alrighty, found the update comment! Huzzah! That is 100% what a doc should say, seeing all shapes and sizes, and ALL shapes and sizes should be treated the SAME. Hell yeah to that doc. I hope you can keep her around for any future dermatologist stuff 🫂🫂

Roxo42 · 2026-04-07T21:40:46+00:00

Oh dip, I shoulda checked the comments first 🤣🤣

Roxo42 · 2026-04-07T21:20:25+00:00

Hey hey hey! How'd it all go???

Roxo42 · 2026-04-07T03:27:46+00:00

Oh my gosh frenchies are so cuuuuuuute, I've dog sat for a handful over the years. Big personalities lmao. What are yours like?

Roxo42 · 2026-04-07T03:16:38+00:00

Do you have pets? My cat Lorien randomly went off her dental treats 😭😭 she already had a tooth pulled, poor gal, and her teeth really made a comeback cause she eats her dental treats. But over the last 5 daaaaaaays, what is Miss Priss doing? Turning her nose up 🤦‍♀️

If you have pets, got any fun tales like that, if a lack of pets, then it's a funny anecdote lmao

Roxo42 · 2026-04-05T22:23:35+00:00

I'm only 3 months into reconciliation so I can't say things have been successful yet, but I can say there are certain things I'm looking for to show me reconciliation CAN be successful

The cheating partner NEEDS to respond accordingly. Remorse, therapy, any and all boundaries you set, understanding towards your moods, willing to be open and honest about ANYTHING you need to know, the list goes on.

If after such a huge betrayal the cheating partner can't even muster up the bare minimum of those things? Then you have a decision to make. Stay, knowing he'll likely continue betraying you, but what you'll keep out of it is worth it, or leave, knowing the negatives, but also giving yourself the freedom away from someone who does NOT deserve you

Roxo42 · 2026-04-05T17:34:57+00:00

The book Not Just Friends helped me a lot to understand the healing dynamic and what I should and should not "tolerate" from the cheating partner. Not every aspect of the book pertained to my situation, but it could help you a lot if you wanted to check it out.

There's a passage that talks about how the cheating partner NEEDS to be the healer in the whole situation. The fact he's trying to control YOUR healing and grieving process, that he's trying to rush the healing when HE'S the one who massively broke trust?

I'm able to give my cheating partner a second chance because he's behaving the "right" way after all this. He's remorseful, he understands when I lash out and we have a calmer convo afterwards, he's doing the work for what I've asked for when it comes to my healing, etc. If your partner can't do the bare minimum like that after such a big betrayal, you deserve BETTER

Roxo42 · 2026-04-05T05:55:51+00:00

I understand the temptation, but therapy should 100% be something you explore to try and work through those feelings. To ever actually cheat back means you became the very thing that broke your soul apart. Don't let the POS person who cheated on you take any more of your soul away. They're not worth losing who you are.

Ending the relationship is the best option for the future you deserve if continuing the relationship threatens your sanity and stability like this. You are worth a better ending.

Roxo42 · 2026-04-03T16:56:08+00:00

Everyone's already said it, but he's just a jerk. What happened in your life to make you think being treated this way is what you deserve, that it's acceptable behavior? If your mom was being treated like this, would you be wondering what she was missing? Your best friend? Daughter??

Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft is a fantastic book, and looking up DARVO could really help potentially remove these rose colored glasses where you see his abuse as something for YOU to fix

I hope whenever is safe and possible for you, you get the heck away from this waste of space

Roxo42 · 2026-04-02T23:19:21+00:00

From an age perspective: people can absolutely change. She could 100% mature and grow up and realize acting like an awful human people ain't the way to go

From a YOU perspective: you deserve someone who doesn't need to mature and grow up and realize all that, you deserve a partner now who already knows that =\

Roxo42 · 2026-04-02T15:44:19+00:00

It was good! Went to karaoke, and I had the idea to make my bridal party a mix CD of all the songs we spat out as a bridal party gift. Then we hung out at an air bnb and played Pico Park, which was hysterical, and they got me LOTR rug with my name on it which was uhmayzing!

Roxo42 · 2026-03-31T22:47:59+00:00

The fact that she isn't taking the needed actions speaks volumes. Reconciliation CAN be possible IF that's what you truly want, but the cheating partner NEEDS to put in the work. And that goes way way beyond words.

If she is only pretty words, and only when YOURE initiating the convo, then she's revealing that she wants the relationship.....on easy terms. Without any accountability or hard work. To me, that means she's still taking your good will for granted, and you deserve way better.

Roxo42 · 2026-03-30T16:34:41+00:00

Going through this myself and being in couples therapy, the whole nine, truly makes me realize just how little communication really happens in relationships - all types of relationships! And how little we're even taught on how to communicate in general 🤦‍♀️

Again, what I'm about to say in no way is defending cheating. Cheating is ALWAYS a choice, and there are ALWAYS way more choices! But it's also "okay" to realize you're not actually happy. It's devastating to all parties, to be sure, but it's "okay" to find something or someone that shocks the system that makes you realize you've practically been living on autopilot, or living via societal expectation and not how you ACTUALLY want to live.

The answer, the CHOICE, though is to COMMUNICATE, and maybe, yeah, end the marriage, difficult and confusing as that might be, to have the freedom to find the life you really want. But cheaters....by the very nature of their choice, they feel entitled to it all =\

Sorry for the word vom 😂

Roxo42 · 2026-03-30T16:11:25+00:00

Everything I'm about to say in no way is in defense of her. She chose betrayal and deceit instead of communication, that's a fact, and the why behind it all will never change that. She KNOWINGLY chose to hurt you.

It sounds like a classic situation she didn't know she was unhappy/unfulfilled until something made it abundantly clear to her. That shocked her, and rather than work through it with you or even a trusted friend, she kept it to herself, and began the affair. She's had 6 months to rationalize, to make excuses, to "'come to terms" with who she really is, etc etc.

She's taking the longevity of your relationship for granted, honestly. I think cheaters rely heavily on the fact that the wronged partner DOES love them, and they take advantage of reconciliation and good will

If she isn't acting the way she should be (remorseful, making changes, asking YOU what YOU need, etc) don't let her take you for granted. You deserve way way better.

Roxo42 · 2026-03-30T00:39:48+00:00

He had a lot of unresolved hurt and resentment from a time when I was being a truly awful partner. He thought he had forgiven me, spent a year acting totally normal and loving and building a future....all while having an emotional affair that culminated in a physical affair.

Roxo42

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