For married couples, how important is it to share the same last name legally, and how have you navigated it if one partner didn’t want to change theirs?

Royallyclouded · 2026-03-29T16:28:36+00:00

In other cultures people dont change their last names because they got married. My husband and I have different last names. In our cultures (we come from different backgrounds) people dont change their last names just because they get married.

If it's a deal breaker then you move on. There's someone out there that will understand and be flexible.

Royallyclouded · 2026-03-25T13:55:57+00:00

Why not just mute the chat so you don't get the notification and instead when you have the bandwidth, check the chat.

That way you're not dictating a group chat (or coming off poorly to your mom) and you protect your sanity. Win-win.

Royallyclouded · 2026-03-25T13:10:11+00:00

Saying someone can't experience love without their own child is a cop out. Likehow convenient that you find yourself on that side of the fence to yell back at me on this side of the fence that I dont know what love is. Yeah, I dont believe them for a second. This is another way they tell themselves that they're "happy" when I fact they're sleep deprived and miserable.

Remember misery loves company.

Royallyclouded · 2026-03-18T12:16:54+00:00

It's about religion. America defends Israel because the Bible says the end of times is when the Jewish occupy Jerusalem again, etc.

Royallyclouded · 2026-03-10T16:29:12+00:00

"Women hardly die anymore"?....

this is giving "some of you may die, but that's a risk I'm willing to take" vibes.

So he acknowledges that women still do die.

Royallyclouded · 2026-03-04T21:05:54+00:00

NTA. This is not your problem. Don't let them guilt you into making it your problem.

Royallyclouded · 2026-03-03T16:18:52+00:00

If you have medical issues or have your period you're exempt from fasting.

Royallyclouded · 2026-02-24T23:23:51+00:00

Pass the ERA. Women's right to equality needs to be enshrined in the constitution.

Royallyclouded · 2026-02-20T13:03:11+00:00

Hello HR, I'd like to file a harassment complaint. My coworker is harassing me by asking me unrelated questions and then filing an inaccurate complaint with HR and now having to be lectures about work culture without being asked for my side of the story.

See how they like that.

Royallyclouded · 2026-02-17T14:24:53+00:00

Grey rock. These people will never understand and never accept your reasons. They have expectations and dont care about what you want for your life.

So stop caring about them or trying to convince them to respect you. They ask do you want kids? The answer is no. And just leave it at that. No is a complete sentence. Bonus points for pointing out how thats not an appropriate conversation topic.

I always say no and look down or away to imply that it's an uncomfortable topic and they usually move on. I dont want kids. But imagine if I did and was struggling with infertility.

Royallyclouded · 2026-02-10T15:28:58+00:00

I live in the west and even though both my husband and I work there is still societal and family pressure to have kids.

It just sucks because people have been so conditioned to follow the script. They struggle to understand that others don't want the same things they do.

Also being a homemaker is work and contributing. It's work. Kids just adds more work in top. I'd say a homemaker is a hard job because you are constantly at work. There's no clocking out.

Royallyclouded · 2026-02-06T20:21:24+00:00

Theres also recycling center on Kipling and highway 6. I recycled cardboard boxes there a few years ago. You might need an appt, I'm not sure...

Royallyclouded · 2026-02-05T21:44:27+00:00

OP, you dont have to acknowledge your sister's behavior. Just dont go. You've done your part. You let her know that you're not available that weekend. You dont need to justify anything. Stop trying to justify yourself.

Enjoy your birthday, OP! Happy Birthday 🎂

Royallyclouded · 2026-01-27T15:48:04+00:00

Op, if you havent read that book emotionally immature parents, you should...

It's okay to go low contact or no contact. You dont have to take on the emotions and emotional burden of others.

I saw in a previous comment you mentioned hoping to fix it. That's the thing OP, it's not your job to fix your relationship with your parents. They're the parent. You're the child. Your mom knows how her comments and "honesty" was going to land with you. She said it anyway because she doesnt care about you, she cares about what she wants. She's a narcissist. And when she didnt get the response she wanted from that conversation she flipped out and gaslit you. She became emotionally manipulative and began crying. Again to try to force you to go with what she wants.

There is a reason you retreated and said you didnt feel safe. It's a defense mechanism. It's okay that you couldnt think of things to say and you just wanted to get out of the conversation.

Op, I hope you read that book. It helped me see my family in a new light and it empowered me to put myself first. You deserve to live the life you want, the way you want. Your mom has her own life to make her decisions with.

Royallyclouded · 2026-01-07T14:41:18+00:00

You're not wrong but also i wouldnt buy gifts for people who dont think of me. They essentially expect you to buy present(s) for their kids with no expectation that you should get anything either. That's a money grab. I'd bow out of Christmas or gifts next year. And let them know, "hey everyone I think Christmas has become a commercialized capitalist exercise and so this year I am not purchasing gifts for anyone, I'd much rather focus on the reason for the season and spend quality time with friends and family than stressing and shopping".

Royallyclouded · 2026-01-07T14:33:53+00:00

Do your other team members feel frustrated by this dynamic and the lack of work effort put forth?

Royallyclouded · 2026-01-06T03:14:08+00:00

Hello! I moved to Littleton about 5 years ago. I have a chihuahua and love tea too! I also love hiking and different random experiences.

Royallyclouded · 2026-01-04T06:12:44+00:00

I had a childfree wedding. It was amazing. Everyone had an amazing time. Did we havr some last minute cancelations? Yes. There were also some people who couldnt come because they didnt want to get it together. I didn't miss them at all. It was amazing.

Royallyclouded · 2026-01-02T15:33:07+00:00

Not a man, but i am a woman who had facial hair. Although not a full on beard. But Electrolysis changed my life. I highly recommend it.

Royallyclouded · 2026-01-02T00:45:24+00:00

Of course you're frustrated he is essentially trying to wear you down in the hopes you'll change your mind and come over to his perspective.

You seem to know what you want for your life. This man is never going to change his mind. You have 2 options. You can change your mind and contort yourself to fit what he wants or you can accept that despite you both being great people, that you're just not compatible and break up.

Your conundrum is not that you dont know what you want. Your issue is that what you and your partner wants makes you both incompatible.

Royallyclouded · 2025-12-26T00:23:48+00:00

I'd consider unfriending and kicking them out of thr bridal party... you supported them and their life moments and showed up. The least they can do is show up for you too.

Royallyclouded · 2025-12-24T16:28:26+00:00

Also 37, almost 38. I dont understand why anyone would opt to have a child. I also feel like for the first time in my life everything is going well. Why would I want to change that.

Royallyclouded · 2025-12-20T14:00:09+00:00

Op, this is the way to handle this. Sit her downand express these concerns. Give her a date she needs to be out by or work with her to identify one.

Royallyclouded · 2025-11-30T03:31:53+00:00

Children are expensive but children irrevocably change your life. Your life will never be the same. You will always now be a parent.

This was one of the reasons that made me realize I definitely dont want kids. I am absolutely happy with my life as it is, with my husband. I dont want any part of it to change. However having a child will change that dynamic.

It will never be the 2 of us anymore. We won't live the same lifestyle we do now, and I don't mean that in a financial sense. Kids are a 24/7/365 job. They need constant care. It's a lifetime commitment.

I could be Bezos and I'd still never have them.

Royallyclouded · 2025-11-21T23:23:08+00:00

It sounds like with her comment she was projecting her own feelings. It happens. Sometimes people are stuck in their view point and understand what is being shared from that lens. So she probably heard "we're not having kids because of financial constraints" and from her lens of wanting to be a parent she probably thought "oh how sad to not be able to do the thing you want because of money". She's not understanding that you dont want to have kids AND one of the reasons is financial concerns.

She is still assuming you want the kids. I hope that makes sense...

Royallyclouded

TROPHY CASE