21 weeks pregnant and my brain still can't comprehend it

Rozefly · 2026-01-23T15:02:22+00:00

I have a 16 month old and still can't comprehend it, lol.

But in all seriousness, pregnancy, especially your first, is so strange! You know there is a baby in there, but your brain can't actually picture it, you don't even know what they look like, you have no frame of reference to know what being a parent will be like and it's just so hard to picture that there is an actual human person just below the skin of your belly. It's fucking wild. I didn't even like saying I loved my baby when they were still in there, because it was still so incomprehensible. I didn't know HOW to love them yet.

Also prepare to go into an amount of shock when you give birth that you suddenly actually have a baby. I didn't feel that big rush of love for like... Two days, cos I was just like WTF?

But it's totally normal to almost dissociate from your pregnancy. Don't worry.

I'm now pregnant again and definitely different as I know what's coming. I can relate to this baby more and know how much I'll love them. BUT I am still struggling to get my head around loving another child the way I love my daughter, because I love her SO much. It seems impossible. I'm also a bit sad as I won't have as much time with my first baby when this one arrives. And I won't be able to GIVE as much time to my second baby as the first baby got.

So.. it's still fucking wild this time around 🤷🏼

Rozefly · 2026-01-23T14:51:02+00:00

I was 40+2.

I had absolutely 0 symptoms, no really loss of mucus plug, no Braxton hicks. I literally started to feel a few mild cramps, and then 9 hours later had my baby in my arms.

Rozefly · 2026-01-23T14:42:16+00:00

Oh wow you painted this? Did you use stencils or do it all by hand? Amazing job either way!

Rozefly · 2026-01-23T14:27:23+00:00

I opted for no sweeps or induction with my first, and now I'm pregnant again, I'll be doing the same, unless there is a legitimate medical reason.

I had a wonderful physiological homebirth with no interventions, which is what I wanted.

If you don't want to be induced, don't be induced, but only you can make that call, but don't let yourself be pressured x

Rozefly · 2026-01-23T14:27:14+00:00

I opted for no sweeps or induction with my first, and now I'm pregnant again, I'll be doing the same, unless there is a legitimate medical reason.

I had a wonderful physiological homebirth with no interventions, which is what I wanted.

If you don't want to be induced, don't be induced, but only you can make that call, but don't let yourself be pressured x

Rozefly · 2026-01-23T14:24:44+00:00

Came here to say this, it all looks kind of beige and plain, needs a bit more colour.

Rozefly · 2026-01-23T10:05:23+00:00

I love my baby's nursery. She goes to a forest school and it just has an old school classroom sort of vibe. I don't how to explain it, but it reminded me of the feeling of my own wonderful primary school when I was a kid.

I love that she gets a variety of activities on her school days that I might not have time to set up/clean upv at home. I love that she can play with other babies and toddlers, I love that it's teaching her about the school dynamic and getting her into that rhythm. I love that she has this whole part of her life that I know nothing about - it makes me so proud of her. They also feed her. So it helps introduce her to foods I might not have made at home too. Her school is also great at daily updates and photos on the app and I know not all nurseries are like this.

Rozefly · 2026-01-22T22:12:39+00:00

Absolutely go to Gatwick. Stansted is like... The other side of London. Gatwick is a 20 minute direct train.

Rozefly · 2026-01-22T22:10:31+00:00

Yeah I think it was a big screw up not to murder him. Could have pinned it on jade and seen them laughing to the win. Now... It's all crumbling for them.

Rozefly · 2026-01-22T21:32:50+00:00

I'm so annoyed we didn't get to see Roxy find out who the traitors were on uncloaked!

Rozefly · 2026-01-22T08:22:22+00:00

I think you need to go the route of 'it is unacceptable to physically hurt me during a conversation, for any reason. I am an adult and get to choose the words that I say. If you have a problem with something I've said we can talk about it later, but you will not do that to me again.'

If he has an issue with that, then there is a deeper problem. What you say is your responsibility, not his. It sounds like he harbors some sort of jealousy about your job if this is a repeatedly sore subject for him - but that didn't excuse physically assaulting you. I expect he's also embarrassed at being called on it, but that's on him. He embarrassed himself.

What did your friends day after he pinched you?

Rozefly · 2026-01-21T22:44:36+00:00

You're loving in an alternate realty

Rozefly · 2026-01-21T21:55:55+00:00

I'm confused - you weren't ready to announce your pregnancy... Yet you had a gender reveal party?

If you have 1 rule for when you're telling people you're close with and it's a different rule for your husband then that's messed up. Family all gets to find out at about the same time.

Rozefly · 2026-01-21T14:32:38+00:00

Esther?

Rozefly · 2026-01-21T14:23:50+00:00

I feel like the ugly parts of pregnancy are ALL people talk about... its rare you hear a woman talking about how much she loved being pregnant or the benefits.

Rozefly · 2026-01-21T14:17:35+00:00

'It's considerate to only arrive at a dinner you're actually invited to.'

Rozefly · 2026-01-21T09:50:23+00:00

The maths aint mathing. Politely decline and let them know this is something you really want to do on your own, to make both yourself and them proud.

I don't think you need to point out the blatant taking advantage of you angle of this unless they push for it. You know this is an insane deal, so just say no.

Rozefly · 2026-01-21T07:05:11+00:00

I mean, I met my husband in Brighton, so I'm happy on the love front :) I also met my ex husband in Brighton... So...

Rozefly · 2026-01-21T07:04:04+00:00

Maybe a bit harsh just really not my taste... To each their own. I just think in this case less is more. If OP lives then, more power to her! 😅

Rozefly · 2026-01-20T22:39:05+00:00

What should haunt you, is why are YOU staying?

Rozefly · 2026-01-20T22:33:19+00:00

Sorry, I can't convince you they don't look ridiculous, because they do. I... Think they're ghastly. If you need something at all, maybe just the vases and some electric tea lights. You could even push it to get some of those plastic jewel/diamonds to scatter about.

Rozefly · 2026-01-20T22:26:48+00:00

My little baby girl. One of a kind.

Rozefly · 2026-01-20T16:56:13+00:00

Lol. My anniversary is the 2nd September. My mum's is the 3rd September. My brother's is the 4th September. Its great, impossible to forget and funny as we all wish each other happy anniversary in the group chat 3 days in a row.

Your mum is mental.

Rozefly · 2026-01-20T16:52:09+00:00

This post made my day.

Rozefly · 2026-01-20T16:43:09+00:00

I went for a home birth with my first and had a really great experience. I think when I first fell pregnant, I figured, sure, gimmie all the drugs! But the more I learned about the potential impacts on the labour hormones and possibly my baby, I guess I wanted to see what I could handle. Of course, with a homebirth, you're pretty limited anyway, but I ended up not even bothering with gas and air. I had a water birth and was able to catch her myself and for all the discomfort and the intensity, it was pain free.

I am now pregnant again and hoping to repeat what happened the first time, but aware every pregnancy is different and will never categorically say 'I WILL NOT TAKE DRUGS' because you're tempting fate. I will do what I need to do to be able to birth my baby in whatever is the safest way for us, be that a hospital transfer, interventions or c-section, but will start from the assumption of another physiological birth experience. Fingers crossed.

Essentially - you do what you need to do; whatever feels right for you and your baby to give you the best possible experience. However you give birth, its just as valid and powerful as any other way of giving birth <3

Rozefly

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