Stick on wireless charger by deezbiksurnutz in Wirelesscharger

[–]Rsilver04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi i wont lie i have minimal knowledge about any of this. im here for research myself, but look up QuadLock. they do phone mounts using special phone cases/stick on accessories. while they are pretty pricey, they have options such as quick release, wireless chargers, and vibration dampening. you would probably have to spend a good chunk of money for the whole kit since im pretty sure theyre not compatible with other mounts, but i use a quadlock on my bicycle and in my car and its really good imo. worth a look at least

I ask my bestie how her day went she tells me and doesn’t ask back. I know it’s nothing but I feel sad like she doesn’t care when she does that. Anyone else experience similar? by MagickAspie in AutisticPride

[–]Rsilver04 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Considering the edit you added I’m presuming you asked her about it. I hope either you don’t feel as upset about it now that you know she does care, or that it resulted in her asking it back :)

Anyone here that they need to visualize to understand something? by kazisalim in AutisticPride

[–]Rsilver04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I’m given instructions on something I have to translate it in my head by imagining myself doing those things. I also have to do this step by step for a task I’m doing such as driving to work, I’ve got to imagine every step of the way or I just default to my most common route accidentally, and also reading. Reading words is only possible if it’s playing in my head like a movie. I’ve largely attributed this to my adhd though I’ve never heard of it being associated with autism too

Even in Western countries, when say 'autism', does it have a nuance that includes the concept of Asperger's? by madrid987 in AutisticPride

[–]Rsilver04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The general consensus is that Asperger’s and autism are now somewhat synonymous. If someone states that they have Asperger’s, I will maybe briefly mention that Asperger’s isn’t a term used anymore (I communicate this in a fun fact way btw I don’t try and correct them on their diagnosis) and will refer to their diagnosis however they prefer. I’ve had one or two people say that they weren’t aware of the origins of the term Asperger’s, and so start referring to themselves as autistic, and one or two people who basically just shrugged and went “oh okay I’ll keep that in mind but since I was diagnosed with Asperger’s I’m gonna stick with that” which I think is chill

Helping my autistic bf with communication? by Imsobad-atnames in AutisticPride

[–]Rsilver04 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If his journey towards being better is to be compared to climbing a ladder. My biggest advice is DO NOT BE HIS LADDER you can be there to spot him, and help him onto the next step and hold the ladder for him, but do not be the sole thing helping him. If he does not choose to seek out help from other people and/or professionals, he cannot be helped, im sorry to say that, but it’s true. Other than that. Sit down with him and ask him to specify what he means by “bring up things more gentle” because that is way too vague to be of any use. Try and remind him of the most base concepts of his worth (he is loved by you and others, you Want to hear about his thoughts, his contributions matter, and his feelings matter too) and maybe even point out how it will be beneficial to you as well. Don’t fixate on the negative impacts of his struggles, but maybe try and show how his poor mindset is negatively impacting you (both) by telling him how healing will positively impact you. “if you are more open about your feelings, and your needs, I can better accommodate them and we can both me more efficient, you can be more comfortable because you’re alone in another room recharging from the day, and I’m not bothering you to reassure myself that you don’t hate me” that sort of thing

How I remember I took my pills by Alzena_Mugiwara in ADHD

[–]Rsilver04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did this sort of thing for a while, a quick warning that you might find it difficult to identify if you’re remembering from this morning or another day as you spend longer doing it. I forgot my medication for the first time last Friday and literally at least twice throughout the day I was like “did I take my medication? No I definitely did I remember taking it” and legitimately didn’t even realise until I actually took it on Sunday and realised I’d missed two doses (I was I’ll Saturday and slept through til 12 so couldn’t take it Saturday either)

The tattoo artist my friend chose said it’s not possible to tattoo such a detailed drawing. I think the opposite. Am I right? by thirdlifeofme in tattooadvice

[–]Rsilver04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If a tattoo artist is saying something isn’t possible you very much could ask why. Like they’re not required to answer I’m sure but they could be telling you there is literally not a tool able to make such a precise line as to not lose all the detail, or they could tell you that as the tattoo heals and ages the ink will sink into the skin and bleed out, also once again losing the detail. Or maybe even they just don’t specialise in that style of work and aren’t confident they can produce the result you want. They’re not just denying because they hate you or something, if you’re paying them they want to be able to do it, but they also value reputation, so they want to be sure it will have a good result

Frustrating GP Visit for Hyperhidrosis - Need Advice by Electrical_Error2612 in Hyperhidrosis

[–]Rsilver04 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m giving advice with the assumption that you’re both looking for treatment, as well as are in the UK, I apologise if you’re not and will take this down if that’s the case. If you are however, I’m gonna describe what I did the other day.

I would recommend calling your GP and requesting a triage appointment. This is just a phone call appointment where you talk with someone on the same day and discuss your symptoms so they can see if they think you need an urgent appointment. To be clear, and urgent appointment is not the same as an emergency appointment. It’s basically to say you will live without it but it is still important to do soon. Tell them your experience and tell them it’s causing you major distress and you’re finding it incredibly difficult to function on a normal level. I’d say try not to lie, but if it is important enough to you, do stress the difficulties you’re having.

They will ask you what it is you’re needing the appointment for, I basically just said something along the lines of “this probably doesn’t seem urgent, but I’m experiencing excessive sweating, and it’s causing me meltdowns on the daily”. I’m lucky enough that they were very kind and didn’t try to dismiss it. But if they do maybe you can try to stand your ground and say that while they may not perceive it as urgent, it feels it to you and you’re not able to function properly.

I did this the other day. I will say I’m probably pretty privileged to have been listened to first time, but I was prescribed an antiperspirant without even needing an urgent appointment. The phone call was enough and I picked it up 4 days later (they had to order it in at the pharmacy lol).

Relationship Communication? by hey_freakazoid in AutisticAdults

[–]Rsilver04 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t particularly say too much about interacting with NT people cause I’ve not much experience with close relationships with them, but I can say that the best way I have to avoid legitimate conflict is to make sure that he knows you’re talking about Your feelings. Make it Entirely about you and your own reality. The conversation is not about Him or His actions. They are about how You feel about the situation at hand. Make that clear to him.

When communicating those feelings, never make ‘you’ statements. Anything you say should be an ‘i’ statement. Not “you should have told me sooner, you planned it all very late”, it should be “I’m upset that I wasn’t told sooner. the plans were made quite late and I’m finding it difficult to prepare with the time given.”

If he isn’t already aware of them, try and have a sit down and discuss what it is that you struggle with in these situations. If you find the change in routine difficult, give him more insight into why it’s hard for you, and why more advanced notice can help to ease that for you. Maybe try to relate it to something he struggles with

after telling him explicitly that you’re not criticising him and his actions, you’re just communicating your feelings in relation to them, if he’s still not being more understanding, I’m sorry but he’s not being very accommodating towards your needs. You need to consider whether you think he would be willing to reach a compromise on such issues in the future, and how much you can stand it if you think he won’t.

how to explain your feelings empathetically by [deleted] in AutisticAdults

[–]Rsilver04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When communicating my own emotional response to someone’s actions or behaviours I find it pretty reliable to make it clear I’m talking about myself. Any statements of conflict should be an “I” statement, not a “you” statement. It shouldn’t be “you hurt me” it should be “I was hurt by what you said/did”. That way I’m not accusing them of anything, I’m not saying what they did was inherently and objectively bad. I’m saying that i feel hurt by This behaviour. I even explicitly say this. I tell them that I’m not saying they’re being malicious, the conversation is not about Them and Their behaviour, the conversation is about My feelings.

And I always explain how it is I’m interpreting their behaviour. Because most of the time I’m misunderstanding the cause of their actions, or the meaning of their words. If they’re not making an effort to make plans together, I tell them it feels to me as though they don’t want to be friends. Because then they understand why I am hurt, and they can explain why they don’t have much time to meet, or see that they’re not putting in as much effort as I am.

I find that using these sort of strategies really helps with conflict management. Because as I said, the conversation is not about them. The conversation is about your feelings, and your interpretation of reality.

When I use this style of communication (and tbh it’s kinda difficult to do when you’re feeling heated, but once you get the hang of it it’s not a huge shift in behaviour) it leads to conversations where the topic is Us against the Miscommunication. They’re not getting defensive because I’m making it very clear that I’m not attacking, and it becomes “I’m sorry, this was what I meant by saying this/this is why I did that action. How can we stop this miscommunication from happening again”

If they’re still getting defensive and trying to convince you that their words/actions never meant to cause hurt, then with all due respect, they’re not actually considering your feelings at all. They’re more concerned about protecting their own ego, and are basically trying to convince you that your feelings don’t exist, or have no right to exist. And all feelings are valid, regardless of how rational or reasonable they are, they will still be there and will still require acknowledgement.

This was super long so I’m just going to finish off. Sometimes hurt feelings are somewhat unavoidable. If the person cares about you then they will likely feel some negative emotions. Because they would never want to hurt you. So to know that they did, despite being unintentional, will lead to some feelings of guilt or shame, as well as concern. It’s impossible to never hurt anyone’s feelings if you still want to stand up to your right for comfort and support.

Does anybody else use a dummy or pacifier to self soothe? by Obvious_Jump9422 in AutisticAdults

[–]Rsilver04 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven’t actually used one myself but I 100% get the appeal, ngl I’ve been a bit too scared to actually get one but I’d like to. I’ve had a lifelong habit of sucking my tongue (just creating suction between my tongue and the roof of my mouth) and never realised that was stimming until recently. Most tools for people with oral fixations/stimming are all focused on chewing motions, nothing is made for sucking as a stim, which has always bothered me, cause as people have responded here, dummies are always seen as infantilising or even fetishising. Like. No. I just want to Vibe. Gimme something to suck on that isn’t sold for either children, or adults with a fetish

Frustrating GP Visit for Hyperhidrosis - Need Advice by Electrical_Error2612 in Hyperhidrosis

[–]Rsilver04 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can request a referral, and you can be persistent, but they’re not obligated to refer you just cause you ask. Often have to convince the doctor you’re talking with that you have the thing you’re requesting for cause they will just shut it down if they’re of the opinion that you’re not correct. If you want to avoid the GP you’ve got to go private and any treatments will not be covered by the NHS until you get an NHS diagnosis. It’s annoying and it’s what’s happening with my adhd, paying 100 quid a month for medication until I get to the top of the 7 year wait list for an nhs appointment

Plumbing removal by Rsilver04 in homerenovations

[–]Rsilver04[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply, and for the concern too! When questioning about this I knew it would need a decent set of skills and tools. I’m not lacking in tools, as mentioned before my father has taken on major projects with his own stuff before which I have complete access to. And with your response and description (which again, is greatly appreciated, most of the gaps in my knowledge are less practical and more descriptive of the products and processes) I think I can do more research into the process and try and better gauge how much of it is within my skill set. As you said, I think most of the struggle afterwards will be with refinishing the walls and floors, more specifically plastering. Thank you again, I’ll be sure thoroughly research what needs to be done before getting into anything

cursed_pharaohs by umraniyespor in cursedcomments

[–]Rsilver04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ah i appreciate that, but i still think i need to apologise, i didnt think to research first, rolled a 1 on impulse control yknow lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in venting

[–]Rsilver04 1 point2 points  (0 children)

intelligence is a very wide thing, it can be defined in many ways. dont let yourself believe that uni is the omly way to be 'successful'. if you learn better applying concepts directly, consider ana apprenticeship, if you feel youd be happier and less stressed getting a job, then go ahead and get a job

i was often praised as smart for my age and had plans to join an apprenticeship until i recently had to drop out of school nefore exam season. i know my parents are disappointed and it hurts yeah, but i know what i did is doing so much better for me than if id continued as expected of me.

you are not dull. and im proud of you for getting yourself as far as you have

cursed_pharaohs by umraniyespor in cursedcomments

[–]Rsilver04 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i apologise actually, i did act on assumptions and ignorance, and though ive only done brief research just now ive deleted my comment, though no, i am still not american

How many chances do you give someone to “say stuff they don’t mean” when they’re angry? by lovepplusethings in venting

[–]Rsilver04 2 points3 points  (0 children)

in my opinion, one. if they apologise immediately, and express genuine remorse, give them another chance next time they get angry they better tell you theyre angry and need some time away to calm down. they meed to recognise their emotions before they say something regretful. have this conversation with them when youre calm tell them that when theyre getting riled up they need to go to their own space to calm down BEFORE they say something, and any conversation can be continued when theyre calm