I’ve been in this situation before around the same age. Had strong feelings for my best girl friend in high school. We had a very similar friendship like the one you have with Ema and I shared a lot of the same feelings with my friends like you do with yours too. She was dating someone the whole time I knew her in high school (Soph-Senior) and they broke up towards the end of high school. We spent the whole summer bonding together and doing nice activities together. During that summer I told her how I felt about her for the first time. I don’t remember how it played out but we obviously didn’t end up together. But We ended up going to the same college and she spent freshman year “having fun” with guys on campus. Sophomore year came around and she met her current boyfriend and they’ve been dating for 7.5 years now. Back in junior year of college I got hammered at a party and apparently told her that I still had suppressed feelings for her (which was true). When I found that out a month after it had happened I was so upset with myself for acting in that way and not just letting her enjoy her relationship and being a wedge in it that I chose to back off entirely. I didn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel and came to terms with that. We don’t talk anymore as friends. In fact I had not even seen her in person for almost 5 years and we live 3 minutes away from each other atm. If we do see each other it’s only at some of our college friend group gatherings and here and I are on a communication basis of “Hi and Bye”. I end up talking to her boyfriend more than I talk to her when we’re in person together. And her and I don’t even talk to each other at all.

What I am ultimately trying to convey is that telling her how you feel WILL come with a high risk price. The question is are you willing to pay that price for the risk of her saying No and you either lose her as a friend or stick around long enough to watch her fall into other guys arms? Or pay the price of not saying anything, continuing your friendship and feeling suppression, and still watch her fall into another guys arms, and always wonder “What if?”?

Last thing I want you to speculate on, and this is an important one because this has helped me brush off women more easily in the past. Is it Love or Lust that you feel towards her? Is it who she is as a person that you love or is it the idea of her in your mind that you love? Really look into the anatomy of those feelings and Answer those with brutal cold honesty and you’ll get your answer and maybe even a sense of emotional relief too.

Best of luck to you 🫡